I’ve tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
“you can’t wear red lipstick”
made me believe
I never wanted to in the first place.

for every time instead
I’ve stained my lips with cherries
learning how to tie the stems
so I can slip forget-me-knots
to the back of your throat—
do you feel my restriction now?

the razors that fly off my tongue
perk thorns on my skin,
another down stroke on my wrist
will teach me that
you were right,
shyness is a virtue.

no need to speak,
go spend one hundred dollars
and some percent for tax
to cover up,
even though I’m sure your mother told you
that cotton stains.

so make it black.
get your hair stuck
in the zipper of that sundress
and pray as you pull it out
that it will lose its pigmentation
in the process
mark a down stroke
for killing two flowers
for one bouquet.

hold it
close your eyes and throw it back,
I know we shouldn’t be wearing white anyway
but tradition can take a lot out of you
like what you really think—
don’t say **** in public.

instead drag your first impressions
all the way to the altar
and dress in your Sunday best
a flower on your lapel
clear on your lips
a stroke for the neat decline
of the son

I tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
my image
was my fault.

im sick man, im ******* sick. sick of all this ****, all this pointless ****. all of these pointless people going through pointless motions to fit into this pointless mold to impress more pointless people that somehow make it to the top of this pointless, glorified, sick, pyramid of societal expectations. maybe when those pointless people that actually can do something about this, about our situation, are cured of their blindness, they can see what needs to be done in this pointless, glorified, sick, pyramid of societal expectations. so maybe we can start breaking ground instead of our skin, and so maybe we can stop this cycle of thinking where its okay to throw up our lunch, and so maybe we can do something about that kid who jumps in front of that train so he can escape the pointless people who are making pointless jokes about him because of his sexuality. come on now you pointless people at the top of that pointless, glorified, sick, pyramid of societal expectations. are you up there? are you listening?

I been meaning to ask you a question
But ever time we come face to face I become afraid
I begin to shake as if I'm freezing cold
My words become so scattered I just stare and give you this awkward smile
Then I would just run away soaking myself in my own tears
Thinking about pathetic I truly am
So this is me turning to my last resort
The only way I can truly communicate this with you
Okay here I go

The stars are beautiful wouldn't you say
The full moon as well
It reminds me of what it is like to be whole again
You know having both halves of a heart that was broken long ago
It really is my favorite past time
Well before I met you anyways
Recently the stars and the moon have been giving me the cold shoulder
After saying how much of an idiot I am
Telling me that I shouldn't be here

I would ask where should I be and they would just stare at me
Afterwards saying that I really am stupid
I remember thinking well that's not very nice, not realizing that it's true
I would then return to my room wondering what did they mean
Which caused me to think of you
Well I was always thinking of you
Then I realized I think in love with you
You see for some time I have been feeling this way
But I never knew how comprehend this sweet sensation

It would explain so much
How I became so nervous when with you alone
Always making these stupid excuses on why I had to go, I really do feel something for you don't I
But it just seems like every move I make I am just pushing you way
Like I really don't want to be near you
When the truth is it's the other way around
I never want to be away from you
I mean I love you
And I can't help to think that you feel the same way

You have such a beautiful smile ya know
To me that was your best physical feature
I purposely try my best to make you laugh
Making these corny jokes just to see you smile
I'm surprised you never caught on to that considering how smart you are
Because you really are smart
Sometimes you make me feel dumb
But I love that about you
I love everything about you

But anyways my question
ummm you see I was wondering
This...this is just a suggestion
But I was wondering if you would like to go on a date
Anywhere would be fine just as long as I'm with you
Well that pretty much sums it up
You know why I have been so distant and all
That's all I really I had to say
And I hope you just say yes

Sincerely,

Adam

Over the dead line we have called to you
To come across with a word to us,
Some beaten whisper of what happens
Where you are over the dead line
Deaf to our calls and voiceless.

The flickering shadows have not answered
Nor your lips sent a signal
Whether love talks and roses grow
And the sun breaks at morning
Splattering the sea with crimson.