unpredictably of the future
birthing a nightmare

diversity of thought
counters the heart

lack of sleep
stretching the night

annihilation of the past
cleanses a soul

i’m sorry
i don’t want to do this
but i have to
i can’t live like this
i can’t do this to you
i know you care
as do i
and sometimes the ones you care about
hurts you the most
i’m so sorry
this shall be done
i’ll cut down on our words
i’ll hide my emotions
i won’t tell you how my day has been
i won’t tell you i haven’t been eating properly, sleeping probably
i won’t tell you the pain i’m enduring
i won’t tell you what’s on my mind
i’m tired of finding the positive in every aspect
im sorry it’s all too draining
i guess my ****’s better with me
you’re better off without knowing it
i’ll save you the displeasure
as i care for you
far more than you do for me

i can’t fall for another
i can’t commit this crime again
i can’t love someone; more than myself
why do i do this to myself
over and over again

once again i find myself
in the same situation
loving someone; who doesn’t love me back
or won’t
what is it really?
my appearance
my character
my voice
my heart

it’s dark; everything
i need to love myself
before i allow someone else to do it
but that’s not a problem
my story does not end in love

how soothing it is
to let go of the past;
a sigh of relief,
and no trace of grief

i always thought
i weighed too much
too naive to learn
this was never my concern

it's such a relief
being free;
a peaceful night's sleep,
and a blissful dream

i can’t
i’m sorry i can’t
i want to
i really do
but please
be the first one
just this time
i promise it won’t happen again
i’ll mend my mistakes myself
but just this once
help me mend them
i need you
i really do
i can’t wait
this distance is killing me
it has been a while
i miss you
come back
to me

they weren't meant to separate us
all i wanted was to know if you'd still climb them
to reach me

yes, i'm talking about the walls you thought i built around me

i need to check the chains
make sure they’re tight enough
it’s too hard
i’m falling too fast
this shouldn’t be happening
i need to stop
before it gets bad
it’s already bad
who am i kidding
im hurtig myself
i shouldn’t be doing this

i need to talk to you
there’s so much to say
but i can’t find the words
my mind’s going crazy
every aspect is bad
every situation gets worse
i can’t do this own my own
i need you to help
get me out of this mess
i need you to help me
get me out of my mind
i’m scared
i’m hurting myself
and everyone i love
i can’t do this anymore
you need to help me get out of here