i’ve lost where i end and
she begins

on the surface, it is true
i love, i see, i dance, i move
we breathe, we laugh
she listens and waits
as i sleep, and i wake
still in disbelief
still afraid

the grass curls around my
pacing feet
and kisses my heels
as i apologize for breaking
her bones

i beg to be weightless
i beg to be free
of the burden of
not knowing
the things i don’t see

i beg for her to watch
how hard i am trying-
but my fear of dying
leaves me wilting
into the ground

please plant a garden over me
step gently over my body
ill try to grow into something beautiful

i swear i won’t make a sound
i swear that ill be content
as long as you’re around

--------

the importance of death -
i am reminded each spring
as the Earth awakens
and stretches her arms
gently caressing my sides

the importance of loss -
as it brings flowers like soft clouds
on the trees around town

it is now that she speaks to me
most clearly
like my mother,
my creator,
my body,
all one.

i feel the trees breathing
i hear them talk of colours they’d rather be
and places they would go
if they had my feet

i hear them talk of the
empathy we lack
the forgotten kinship
our disconnect from the seasons
our disguises and aching backs

but i’ve never once seen fear in their eyes
because even without our love
the stars come out at night
and the trees continue to bloom
every spring
with or without you