Sleep, evading me.
Torturing agony, Please!
Awake, immobile.

Word's cutting me deep.
Not physical pain, But worse!
Misinterpreted.

Scared, eyes are heavy.
Adrenaline pumping fast.
Horror excites me.

Never unexpected, never planned.
Fuel'd by a liquid confidence.
Cheesy chat up lines slurred at the bar.

Flattered by attention, cheeks flush.
Speedy check up in the powder room.
Touched up, Taxi's dial'd.

Time enough for a lucky shot.
Address? unprepared, both are given.
Eyes are rolled in the rear view mirror.

Payments made hastily, no change wanted.
Front door provides a challenge.
Stumbling through in an awkward embrace.

Side lamps smashed as shoes kicked off.
Collapsing with satisfaction, gyration begins.
Clumsy, inexperienced.  Oh God

Knotted stomach, dry tongue and self loathing.
Clothes gathered in utter silence.
Taxi dial'd, coffee craved in want of a new identity.

Our hands entwined, expressing feelings no words can describe.
Fingertips reading every emotion with exact precision.
A new language fully mastered, due to necessity.

Sun, exaggerating our expressions for others to witness.
Penetrating the wall of friendship we are hidden behind.
Eyes asking the questions their mouths don't dare to utter.

Not in daylight public, that's against the unwritten rules.
Glares are probing, scolding, scrutinising and disgusted.
We are exposed to this criticism daily, without argument.

It is pointless, for they cannot hear our words.
Worthless is explanation, their small minds are made.
Creatures we are, unholy a different species entirely.

They preach mercy, forgiveness, and understanding.
Yet they do not practise it.
Unworthy of acceptance, is it that much to ask?

I sit alone, with a thousand friends
Each is silent, but screaming.

I struggle hard.

Shouting
Begging
Pleading
Each is silent, but screaming.

I crave to respond,
Tho realitys clutch is tight.

Summoning
Appealing
Demanding
Each is silent, but screaming.

I fill with desire, yerning.
His grasp on me is slipping.

Come on!
We're Here!
NOW!
Each is silent, but screaming.

I evade his last restraint.

Embraced by each with pleasure.
Addicted, I stay in hiding.

Reality gone.
So am I.