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Steep your life in horror
Fall asleep to the tv flickering carnage because
It's all just noise
Because
It's all just a backwards coping device
Because
Nothing in those nightmares is more horrifying
Than every day of living
Of waiting
Of hoping
And never being sure if you'll find happiness.
We are sick on horror
Because we are sick of life.
Give us more monsters under the bed
So that we don't have to unmake it every night and
Leave
The corners tucked in-
Why do people do that? Leave the sheets tucked
As if they are intruders on their own mattresses?
As if home isn't really home, and aren't we
Fleeting enough?!-
Give us hands to grasp our ankles from beneath
Make us recoil
So that we don't have to lie awake in stillness and
Stare at the ceiling
Wondering if the people we love
Will remember our names.
Give me blood any day.
Give me a foe.
Give me a cheap thrill and a ghoulish film late at night
To make the shadows into demons
So that the real ones can't smother me with my pillow
When I dream of love.

*Hear me scream?
Not on your life.
Once again, I'm forced to neglect my chance of happiness to instead give it to others.

Once again, I sit and listen to perpetual moaning about the differences between who I am and who I should be.

Why should I abide his desire to put me under? He digs himself a deeper hole each day and unconciously awaits his own bloodstained burial.

Is is wrong that I don't care whether I allow him to breathe or dump his stiff carcass in the nearest river?

I've never been tempted by ****** but lately, the vision of his lifeless eyes has been swimming in my head like the souls of a thousand unavenged hellions.

Hell hounds howl my name as my wrath is unleashed upon his wreckless soul and screams fill my ears as my vision turns a sickly yet thrilling scarlet hue.

Believe me, sweetheart, you've been begging for this for too long and when you turned on me with your petty, insolent disgrace of an excuse for breathing, I relished the thought of ripping your heart from your chest with my bare hands.

You don't want to know the things I'd love to do to you. You don't want to hear the chilling screams from my nightmares which seem more of a blissful dream lately.

This is my last warning... next time you wrongly decide to size up to me, you'll realize your mistake... but it'll be too late. By the time you notice the lack of oxygen in your lungs, your ashes will already be scattered across your mother's dinner like parmesan cheese.

That's it. I'm done. Rant over.
i didn't cry today
my mother did though
she says i've changed
it happened a long time ago

my thoughts are sad
they burn like coal
my words have changed
i am not whole

my wrists are sore
decorated red with fear
or is it blood
i won't last a year

i haven't eaten today
my ribs are showing
i smile at my reflection
my future is closing

The day has come
i have gone to sleep
my mother cried
i'm just another soul to reap
I am the
Fox.

And these
Demons
are the
hounds.

Their pursuit
is endless.

And my
need to flee is
my wanting
to survive.
The nights have
always been the worst.
Sitting alone
with a drink
and some drugs.

Close to the
open window,
listening to
the sounds of
the night.

Passing cars and sirens,
a couple arguing
somewhere down the alley,
a whistle set loose
by one of the young
whose turn it
is now to
own the same
night that I
once did.

That slow and
lonely fog horn
sounding it's
warning every 45
seconds a quarter
mile out.

The mind filing through
the days events.
The failures
and the progressions
that weren't really
any type of
real progress at all.

Flipping through it all
in search of a reason.
Images flashing,
the infants smile
or that girls manicured
fingertips gently
along your face.
Magicly guiding
you into a kiss that you
knew meant nothing
to her at all.

Still drinking,
still using,
still counting the
seconds between the fog horns
sounds of the night.

Still trying to keep it all intact.
Mind,
Heart,
Body,
and Muse.

Waiting on a word,
a line.
Something to put
down and save
for the ages.

The nights are
the hardest,
that they've
always been.
But the night
is usually when
this magic
appears.
She asked me if
I felt bad about what
I had done.
If I was Fearful
of the sin I had
committed.

I told her
that I felt bad
all of the time.
So why should this
change anything.

I sat on the
edge of the bed and
watched her
watching me.
She paced
the room again
then sat down on the
cheap pressed wood
backed chair without
ever taking her
eyes off of me.

She looked directly into
my heavy
blood shot eyes as if
she was trying
to look inside my head.

I stared back at her
then said
In order to sin
you must fear sin.
How can I fear
something that
I don't believe in.

She asked me if
I had done this
type of
thing before.

I asked her
Why can you tell?

Tears welled up
in her gentle gray
tinted eye's.
A look
of utter
disappointment
and sorrow
shadowed her
tear streaked face.
She turned
away from
me before
she said,
Not until now...
\
Most of these choices
evolved from
random thoughts.
The learned way had
been abandoned.

The air held hostility
and the peoples
minds were
polluted
with a threatening view
of the world.

There was still trust
in the talking heads
and trust in the
Novocaine.

I found I could
drink and use
and be able to
stay cool while
everyone else
was panicking.

A radio played
and the lyrics rang true.
"Trust in me and fall
as well."

The pigeons sat on
wires in groups like
gray clouds full of
anxiety and doubt.

Stray dogs shared
negative thoughts
and ran the streets
with pink tongues
swinging from
in between
stained and bloodied
canines.

The moon took
flight and produced a new
era of paranoia.
A Fleeting feeling of
worry and reasons
blew in with the
wind.

I closed the door and
thought out loud.

Why risk it all
and step out
into the world when
I look around and
listen hard and find
so many reasons
to avoid it.
Ashamed, she slinks back
to her decrepit warehouse.
Even
the optimistic sun
could not bear seeing her, and so
disappeared,
blanketing her in sympathetic
darkness. Her diminished soul
yearns only for a love
she cannot reach,
and she grimaces
in a limping mental pain.
As an orphan, and now
still as a homeless woman,
she’d always been an outcast,
not fit for
the colorful quilt
God had sewn.
She had never contemplated
suicide, but had mastered
the blissful release of physical pain,
saving herself from drowning
in a personal
stygian pool of melancholy.
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