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Sep 2013 · 921
Porch Swing
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
I'm sad when I'm scared.
I never wrote that one thing down.
It's comforting somehow.
History does repeat itself.

You never had to lie.
That's the truth.

It's always changing the same way.
It's not what you do, it's how you do it.

It's funny how easy that is.
You can't break my heart if I don't know you.
Sep 2013 · 576
Cody's Window
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
She stared out the window, looking
past the reflection of everything behind her.

The rain, past the trees. Past
the small ***** of light and
near the merest glimpse of
the purple sunset. She was
lost in the window.
Sep 2013 · 390
New Year's Eve
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
It was so much more exciting...
It was so much more enlightening...
It was so much more.

The last day and I feel nothing.
Sep 2013 · 904
November
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
He was probably being sarcastic.
       Probably.
What?
I was laughing...
Thinking about it...
Laugh forever.

      Tick tock...
            Tick...
          Tock...
       Tick...
That's not what it's about.
Farewell.
Well *******, too.
I'm sorry I don't love you.
Unrequited.
No wonder
       we're all so ****** up.
  This is how it feels.
    Forgiveness never made anything better.
         I'm sorry.
Sep 2013 · 4.3k
Vince on Life
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
I like giraffes.
It's funny when they drink.

I don't care for orange.
I don't know why.
It doesn't excite me.
I don't expect it to excite me.

Rainbows are okay.
They're pretty cool.
When I see one,
I always say
Hey! There's a rainbow.

I like pillows.
They're comfy.
My pillow is the comfiest.

Zebras are melancholy.
Sep 2013 · 939
Yeah, Aliens.
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
We didn't even know.
Aliens.
We're probably descendants of aliens.
They made us.
Skeleton heads on Mars.
There was warfare.
We're killing each other off.
Science experiments.
Mice in a cage.
Your cage.
Your planet?
Conversation...
Sep 2013 · 557
Before
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
Her body lay crooked and peaceful on the pavement. She didn't close her eyes until she hit the ground and it was over in a way it had never been before.
The wind felt so soft against her skin yet harsh in her ears, blocking out all other sound. Falling, she was graceful in a way she had never been before.
She thought of her dog, and how she'd be alone and hopefully someone would feed her. She'd forgotten to do the dishes.

She thought of the time she met that guy from Chicago. Ben was his name. They had *** in his car in a dark alley, next to a dumpster.
He never took her shirt off and that was the only one-night stand she would ever have. Maybe she should have written more than "Goodbye" on that napkin.
She thought of her mother's grave and her father's will. Her whole life didn't flash before her eyes like she'd heard it would.

She ended up falling backwards like someone would catch her. She couldn't decide whether to leap or just keep walking.
As she stood on the edge, she noticed the city was beautiful in a way it never had been before.
The wind was cold and threatening
and she realized she was afraid of heights. She took off her shoes and it only took one step to get where she needed to be.

As she walked across the top of the building, she didn't cry and she was calm in a way she never had been before. She got off on the twentieth floor and climbed the two flights of stairs to
the roof. When she got on the elevator, six people joined her and no one
asked questions and she was alone in a way she never had been
before. She walked the eight blocks to the building she
knew and tried to appreciate all the small
things but the air smelled like
hot dogs and no one
on the street was
smiling.

She locked her apartment door and dropped the keys on the floor. They made that sound only that keys and loose change can make. Before she left she looked in the mirror by the door
and noticed her reflection was so confident in a way it never had been before.
She almost wished she could cry but that seemed silly so she closed all
the blinds instead. She looked at the clock and it was half past six
and it was time to go in a way it never had been before.
Sep 2013 · 490
XO
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
XO
Long before I knew you,
I didn't think you existed.
I find myself wondering
if you're really who I thought you were.
Now you're here and I'm scared
and I don't know why.
What if it's not right?
****, long before I knew you,
I didn't know me.
You found me and
I'm lost again.
Sep 2013 · 631
Retrieving Shang
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
The feathers of the trees turn to ash
The wind dances coldly
The air smells of summer's death
And winter's rebirth
I realize the earth is a phoenix
And I am happy
Sep 2013 · 720
2:08 am
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
She makes a *** of coffee like it'll help her sleep
and chain smokes at the kitchen table.
The smoke dancing off her cigarette fades
more gracefully than her love for him
and it's all she can do to keep from crying
over the fact that they're out of sugar.
It has nothing to do with grocery shopping.

She laughs alone most of the time.
Before she knows it she's lost in the dark again
and the only one she wants to save her
doesn't have a flashlight.

The ring on his finger might as well be strangling her
as she lights another cigarette and hopes for the worst.
They say you can't choose who you love, but what if
you can't love who you choose?

It hurts to think of the pain it would cause
and **** if she'll not regret it for the rest of her life
if she makes the wrong decision and does the right thing.

She lights another cigarette and realizes
she's almost out of time.
She can't help but wonder if something's a mistake
if you do it on purpose.
She lights another cigarette and notices
she never turned the coffee *** on
and the sugar bowl is still empty.
Sep 2013 · 228
Feel This
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
Before you go
Hit this
Before you go
Don't go
It wasn't me
It was you
It's not that bad
Before you go
This was...
We were...
Sep 2013 · 676
Six Word Poem
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
"I'm always alone," she told everyone.
Sep 2013 · 972
Whiskey Sour
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
The lipstick on the glass only reminded her
That her windshield wipers didn't work.
She never had owned an umbrella.
That guy at the end of the bar probably won't talk to her
And the bartender will talk too much.
Somehow this was supposed to make her feel better
But drinking alone in a bar is still drinking alone.
Sep 2013 · 447
Smoke Break
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
Smoke breaks in January
chill your cigarette to the bone.
  Mailboxes look like people
  and the people are just strangers
  with something to say.
Sep 2013 · 267
In Here...
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
I used to want to be beautiful.
I became beautiful on the inside.
I wanted to be loved.
It made me loving.
I know I'm weak.
I'm stronger than you think.
I feel what I feel completely.
I'm giving if you take it.
I think too much.
I don't talk about it enough.
I'm mostly a good girl.
Unless you make it hard to be.
No one ever broke my heart that didn't deserve to.
I'm a good friend.
I can make you want more.
I can make you need less.
"God knows I don't want to be an angel."
Sep 2013 · 2.7k
Ten Dollar Words
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
He only imbibes because of his dipsomania.
She only practices onanism because she's afraid he'll impregnate her.
He despises her monomania.
She's too affable, almost to the point of being obsequious.
He's too acrimonious and muzzy.
She knows she's a bit of a coquette.
He thinks he's a cuckold.
She used to be flighty until she fell into this convoluted dystopia.
He used to find it scintillating to get sozzled.
She just wants a lark once in a while.
His iniquity makes him want her to be lascivious.
Her every fatuity leads to a cabal.
He's too opaque and insipid.
She has to iterate and reiterate everything she says.
He feels his infatuation is unrequited.
She finds this unproblematic.
He doesn't imbue her with anything anymore.
She thinks he's unpitying of that.
He'll malinger tomorrow.
She'll wonder if it's all adventitious or kismet.
She can't handle his odium.
He can't stand her ten dollar words.
Sep 2013 · 509
I Know My ABCs
Ellen Bee Sep 2013
And that's the way it is
Before you even know it's too late
Counting your blessings seems vain
Doesn't it?
Even the bad die young
Forget everything I ever said
******* it
Half-empty glasses don't tip over
I can't prove that to you
Just to make you happy
Keep telling me I'm wrong
Lust is just safer than love
Make me want you only once
Next, forget my name
Only the lonely
Pretend to be fine
Questions only lead to things you don't want to hear
Rational people keep it all to themselves
Show me who I really am
Then trade me in for something new
Unwind yourself and
Very carefully
Wrap me in what bound you
X marks the spot
You'll use invisible ink and
Zone in on your target

— The End —