Ellen Bee: Favorites

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Becca DeMateo

Oh Sunshine,
They all told me not to be with you.
They told me you were a gateway to bad things.
I found out one day in my car...
They lied to me!
You're amazing.
You take me to new places.
I've seen so many things.
You even saved my life once when I was 19...
I love you so much.
Thank you for showing me the truth.
Oh ****, dear ****.
xoxo
-Becca D.

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

A shot in the dark, A stab at the heart

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Becca DeMateo

A shot in the dark, A stab at the heart

I am a single mom
even though his father lives with me
we love each other
we sleep in the same bed
but i am alone
always gone
either business
or pleasure
always here
i never leave...
alone
alone
*Alone

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Lusts' Magic

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Luke Morphew- Hedges

Lusts' Magic

I find your looks hypnotic,
The way you stand and stare,
I love the way you shake your locks,
Of long and silky hair.

I find your smile enchanting,
Your sly yet innocent grin,
It makes me want to caress and stroke,
Your smooth and supple skin.

I find you so enthralling,
I love your distinctive smell,
Of christmas day and roses,
You hold me in your spell

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

The Fighter

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

potionslover

The Fighter

Say something about me, now that I'm no longer around
Say she was no good
Say she was the best
Say she was never to be messed with
But remember to say I fought

Say I did no good
Say I never hurt a soul
Say I flew for others
Say I never cried by myself
But remember to say I fought

Say whenever whatever
Say "her pride and ego"
Say what I believed
Say "all the lies and truth"
But remember to say I fought

Say I never kept my word
Say I was loyal to the core
Say my corpse may rot in hell
Say I healed your heart
But remember to say I fought

Say prayers and curses
Sing lovely hymns and songs
Say you hate me, say you love me
But to remember to say I fought

Show them my wounds and trophies
Show them my life wrought with disdain
Show them my laughter and tears
Show them how I fought through it all

Say whenever whatever
Say "her pride her ego"
Say what I believed
Say "all the lies and truth"
But remember to say I fought

Say what others don't say
Say what others won't say
Say what others didn't know
Say what others wouldn't know

But say along with the others

"She was a fighter"

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Life

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Sarah H Winston

Life

One man's heaven, is another man's hell
Some see a pond, others: A wishing well
One person loves to dance in the rain
Another hides inside, feeling nothing but pain
One sees food as fuel
another, a jumbled mass of harmful calories
One sees a razor as only a shaving tool
another, a way to ease the pain
One sees life as a beautiful
another, nothing but sadness
One sees the other as weak
another sees the other as someone they wish they were.

*It's all about perspective

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

fiftyseven

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Brittany Christensen

fiftyseven

I'm sorry if this comes out too quiet
its just I could really use some water
I've been running my tongue across these words
                simply tasting what alone will feel like
will you hear me when I say
        this time I'm not afraid
you were a promise not meant for me
      a dream I was not to remember
and I've been fooling myself
                                       for so long
                           I just wanted to feel like more than I am
                     just needed to believe I had a reason to breathe
               but you crept in and took it all
        maybe I deserve this fall
but can you say that you dont?

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Leaving Crack House

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Kathleen Mavourneen

Leaving Crack House

in the bathroom
in the morning
I pack little bottles and brushes into a paper bag
nothing left of me now but my armchair and the hole
that I'll soon kick in the bedroom wall

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Proposal

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Kathleen Mavourneen

Proposal

airy though they are,
I can feel the heft of the cigarettes in my pack of Marlboro No. 27's
cigarettes I hold in my lips to think of you

that fall apart now
burning my wrists and remind me
of the night that Jordan dropped a firework from Wisconsin
into the fire pit
bringing angry tears to the eyes of Eric's drunken father
and your friend
a stranger to me
turned to you and told you blindly
that another fire just as bright ignited
between your hands and mine
and not to let go

I wanted to cling to you then
but the world already pushed us apart

I send messages to you now
telling you about my gas grill
and the new varieties of malt liquor that I have discovered up north
(Schlitz?!)

once you told me that you'd like to get married
when we are both old and alone
driven from the places we've tried to call home
and with my Colt 45 and your No. 27 supported loosely in my hands I said
Yes

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

speak to me.

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Amanda Cooper

speak to me.

you are staring
at the floor and youre
tongue tastes like
cigarettes and your
eyes look like
frosty windowpanes.
i say your name but
you are staring
at the floor.

now i am staring
at my toes and my
tongue tastes like the
ocean and my
eyes look like the
california sunshine.
but its raining outside
and i am staring
at my toes.

and you speak to me
in lyrics
and you tell me
i’m the moon
and you tell me
my hair is braided
with the stars
and you tell me
i am lost in some
great galaxy gaze.

and i speak to you
in white noise
and i tell you
that youre hazy
and i tell you
your eyes are dusty
from the stars
and i tell you
youve stopped looking
toward the sky.

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

If the Outside World Had Written Me a Letter

Oct 2013 Ellen Bee

Wrenderlust

If the Outside World Had Written Me a Letter

I
you will be saddened
by trivial things,
the unfamiliar fridge magnets,
the arrangement of the furniture.

II
you will shiver without
the shelter afforded
by misguided boys
with pills in their pockets.

III
no one else will forgive you
the illusion of control,
the rhythm of numbers
scrawled across your ribcage.

IV
instead of friends,
you will tell strangers about
your self-assured destruction,
the alarms on the windows.

V
you are no longer
the beautiful wreckage left
when a train of innocents
crashes into wonderland.

Thoughts on the things I didn't expect when I left the treatment center where I had lived for 13 months due to depression, anxiety, self-harm, and anorexia.