there's a girl who sleeps in my bed
I don't mind her too much
though I wish her nightmares
didn't make such a mess
of the sheets.

she uses my shampoo
I'm okay with sharing
I just wish she would
save me a little
conditioner.

most of the makeup in my room is hers
some of it's mine though
I prefer blushes, eyeshadows
while she collects
concealors.

and sometimes, on the right day
I see her when I look in the mirror
not very often though
I don’t really look a lot
like her.

when I look in the mirror
I see flushed cheeks, wet hair
nails need a trim
hips, a little excess
but okay.

I don’t always see cuts
bruises, starvation, memories
of self-induced punishment
three failed attempts at
"making it stop".

I don’t always see
the ghost of years ago
when I look in the mirror
but sometimes
I do.

Have you  ever been so angry, that your mind just stops?
Your body trembles?
Tears well up in your eyes?
So angry, that you just feel...betrayed?
Lost?
Like you can't trust anyone:
With your
Thoughts,
Ideas,
or even
Opinions?
An anger that drives you to feel
that you will never believe something again?
That's the anger you make me feel.

i played my recital piece
for a man and his daughter
and the man told me
"there's hope in that piece"
and it got me thinking
that maybe
just maybe
if i can find the hope in my music
i can find
hope
         in
             me

You're supposed to make me feel
Safe and secure.
You're supposed to help me through
The good and the bad.
My shoulders to cry on,
The ones I can always rely on,
Ones that will never judge me,

But I guess that I will never fit the stereotype of
*"One, big, happy family"