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Elle Kay Dec 2013
i have an overwhelming terror
a nervous fear
i'm paralyzed with panic
and it's bringing me to tears

i'm in love with you
and afraid you'll go away
afraid that i've scared you off
with the things that i say

i break down on your shoulder
in the middle of the night
and you were always there
and made me feel alright

but i'm absolutely
sickeningly
maddeningly
scared
that you'll stop caring
and there'll be no one there

i went three days
without messaging you
and i broke down
so many times
that i'm broken in two

i'm afraid that you will leave me
afraid that if you stay
i'll keep needing you
i want to push you away
please stay
Elle Kay Dec 2013
i hang on to
every word
message
note
smile

because you're the first one
to make me feel happy
loved
cared for
worthy

you let me hang out with
all of your friends
even though you're cooler
older
smarter
better

and every day i'm terrified
i'll misstep
misspeak
mess up
and lose you
Elle Kay Dec 2013
i used to hurt
so much inside
i had to pull it out

i thought it hid
inside my blood
so i let it all
pour out

it didn't seem
to work so well
so i tried drugging
it down
with pills

the pain still crawls
and bites
and claws
no matter
what i try

i really hope
it goes away
before i give
up and die
Elle Kay Dec 2013
people sometimes say
everything
that falls
is broken

in that case
why am i still
holding together

why have i yet
to crumble
and break
after falling for you

— The End —