If I could say what I was thinking, the world would be so different

To the girl I smile at every day in the hallway
heard you're not a ******... Little ****.
To the abandoned little puppy that makes me "sad" on my way home from school
got no where to go? ***** to ****, ***** mutt
To the teacher that whose class I graciously received a 90 when I deserved 100
I see you're dealing with your low self esteem and home problems by unfair grading
To my friend whos dress I say I love
that's the worst dress I've ever seen. You're wearing rags that are fading
To the boy I wave at smoking on the corner
haha you're so dumb. I'll love to see you smoke yourself sick
To the kid I said I'd go to prom with
why should I go with you? You're such a little *****
To the woman with all the insecurities
hmm if I looked like you I'd be insecure too
To the people who try to stop me from these rants
all I have to say is F---- *you

Excuse for a minute I'm just having a bit of confusion  
You see, my entire identity is giving me some delusion
I don't who I am or where I'm going
They say it's normal; the experience of growing
Since when was psyche slandering of innocent so beautiful?
I didn't know one descicion could be so meaningful
Which dream do I chase?
At this age begins the race
To run to my future
But I face so much pressure
Im not sure which life will be missed
The city or the campus? Neither can I resist
I am an athlete I am musician I am a student
Sorry Dad, but I'm also not the most prudent
Which world holds a life that is brighter?
All that matters now is that I am a writer

During that one free minute that you have every day
How about you do some reflecting
On everything you do and every word you say
Take a deep breath
You're just overextended
You have way too much stress
You acted okay but you only pretended
Theres this monster you've created
Not just a busy working bee
You've gone psychotic; that's simply stated
In that one minute I remember this isn't me

Sweetheart, I promise
You are not alone
The day you stood strong
We. All. Wept.
And you kept your chin up
And stretched a smile across your face
And we, well we were wrecked
Shedding your tears
Feeling your pain
But then the unthinkable happened
Yes darling, it happened twice
In one month
In the time it took you to run for class president
Or the time it took to prepare a solo to play in orchestra
In the amount of time it took to take a deep breath from the hidden tears
Your world had shattered
And then we knew
You were in pieces
We sobbed silently to ourselves
So you wouldnt see us cry
Just as you had done the same
And we hold your hand and wipe your tears

And you're never alone
You had us the day we had to stand strong
And let you weep
Were working on holding your chin up
And cracking a smile every now and then
The love and support you have is so immense
And that's what makes you beam
In the darkest of hours

How is it that ***** Wonka's factory
Is suddenly my little shop of horrors?
I was overwhelmed with excitement at first
Mmm honey, you taste so sweet
But too much is never good
Walking through wonderland
I began to realize there was so much excitement
I wanted everything
And I got everything
Everything
That word sticks like butterscotch
Everything that was good
Everything that was bad
I couldn't handle all of it
And the wonderful things
In the dark, towered over me
Intimidating I thought
My dreams had become nightmares
I'd fallen for candy's trick
And now I'm stuck knee deep in honey

It's cute, this little dance that we do
Up and down the narrow strip of ballroom floor
You've  got them cornered
You're one step ahead
Poor kid won't even see it coming
You toss around their pawns like it's nothing
With each little tick
Of your valiant swords
Ha! You've figured them out
I'm sure you're chivalrous so you'll make it as painless as possible
4-4
0:05
Back forth back forth
Lunge!
And you scream before the buzzer goes off
Because you already know it's yours

*checkmate

It's those morbid dark thoughts
That everyone has
But we all hide from each other
Masking the dusty feelings of anger, sadness, detest, abhorrence
Society has brainwashed us to say I'm happy
we really want to say ***** you all
We can't live with the idea that anyone could possible be better than us
Why have we conformed to the idea of the everything is alright mindset
We all hide it
We all have it
We all subconsciously show it
I always knew green was my true color