I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

You.
You love me with your lips stitched shut.
You love the way I listen to you
whenever you teach me silence,
when you put your sweet sighs
across my mouth
and cradle my body into a dark corner
where I can breathe you in from afar.
That love which speaks through the eyes
tilted towards an inch away from mine.
While the rest of the world
can easily put those words into words,
you stay calm and modest
amidst your unspoken flames of emotions,
those which smoke away from  a smile
or from a glance which carouses
in that place within me
where  the other lovers can never visit.

You who don’t speak but listen.

I.
I love you with my ears only for the unheard.
I love that kind of love you rarely confess
through the smallest actions
done by your greatest strength
and even those cruel ones
within your depths I may never know
and you may never let me.
But if in case, you would let me and I would,
let me bury it down as a tiny seed
which will rise from the dirt
as a lovely white rose.
For even if you don’t speak,
I will always hear you
through the hushes of the cold wind
that blows and warms the fringes of my hair.
I will listen to you the way the other lovers
will never do.

I who don’t speak but listen.

But if this love must vanish in total darkness
and be drowned in all the noisy revolts
which sins had casted
or the world had turned the tables
and all our memories had to lie,
remember
that as long as there is you and I,
you will be the Earth beneath my feet
who holds all dear in my life
and I will be living and feeding in you
as our silence
grows and grows
into forever.

We who never speak but listen.

on july 13th, 2013: George Zimmerman
a florida native with a history of violence
was found not guilty for the ****** of unarmed 17 year old African American boy Trayvon Martin claiming self defense

on may 8th, 2012 African American, Marissa Alexander:
a florida native with no history of violence
was sentenced to 20 years in prison for discharging a warning shot out of self defense from the wrath of her abusive ex- husband

marissa,
i often wonder how you felt on july 13th when you heard the Trayvon Martin verdict
did you feel the heaviness of invisible shackles weighing your hands and feet down like you had stepped into the 1600s?
did you feel a surge of anger burn through your throat like i did for you?

did you ask yourself if you should’ve continued letting your husband play picasso on you?
Letting your body be his work of art as he splattered blotches of black and blue making a tie-dyed canvas out of you?
because the jury treated the bruises you wore as if they were the plague
saying beware of a black woman who protects herself
it takes 20 years of solitary confinement to cure her of this disease

marissa,
are you afraid of the skin of bullseyes your two children were born into
knowing that society will use them for target practice every day like they did for you?

can you not sleep at night out of fear anytime your child pulls a hood over his head
that he is marking himself as sacrifical lambs to our legal system?

did you tell your mother the next day to burn your babies black hoodies
because on July 13th it was made known
being black and wearing a hood means danger
that being black and wearing a hood means you have a hunger for ******
that being black and wearing a hood means you have cosigned to a persecution?
and yet…we all seem to forget the ones in white that fit the same description

marissa,
i hope you’re starting to see America has OCD
wanting to color within the same lines, with the same two colors
segregating black and white
neglecting to realize that blood and blood shed never bleed out in the same two colors
just look at the crime scenes of Trayvon Martin and your ex-husband

marissa,
from now on when you bite your tongue while eating
don’t spit the blood out
leave it, let it settle, then swallow
and let it be a reminder of all the trayvon martins, all the emmett tills, all the james birds, and all the little black boys who died for standing their ground like you tried to

marissa,
i know you feel like god abadoned you
as if he stabbed you into the back and sent you on a suicide mission
but please
know you are my symbol of hope
you are my hero
the woman i wish to emulate and be
you are the one i pray for at sunday night dinners while holding the one hand of my black mother and the other hand of my white father
hoping one day america can sing free at last and actually mean that
hoping one day america can be blended and still be considered alright
hoping america will stop painting pictures in only black and white

i should’ve known
our love had died
when your lips
started tasting
like those of a corpse

He poured the coffee
Into the cup
He put the milk
Into the cup of coffee
He put the sugar
Into the coffee with milk
With a small spoon
He churned
He drank the coffee
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He emptied the coffee with milk
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He lighted
One cigarette
He made circles
With the smoke
He shook off the ash
Into the ashtray
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
He got up
He put on
A hat on his head
He put on
A raincoat
Because it was raining
And he left
Into the rain
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
And I buried
My face in my hands
And I cried

your bones were breaking and you called it love. the life leaked out of your wide grey eyes and your hands trembled and you said it was safe. her foot held you underwater and your lips formed poems of devotion.

i saw the bruises.

i saw the signs.

every time i saw you i read the screams for help between your silences but nothing could keep you away from her. like moth to flame, your wings were singed as you flew into the one thing that could **** you, the one thing you found so impossible to leave.

your mouth was full of sobs but you couldn’t spit them out.

three months and too many scars later you tore out of her hands, leaving blood and skin behind in her claws. you had to leave behind chunks of yourself but you were free. the flame was extinguished and nothing tethered you to the broken-hearted love you had grown to crave