Half hearted
At least it keeps a beat
I miss your mannerisms and streetwise feet

Thankful to be thankful at least we have a lead
Pointing north or nowhere it's our choice to perceive

Walk on sand turning to rock
Rock to land a grass to frolick in

Thankful for the chance to have this dance I'd let you go if you promise to come back

Don't define yourself with your own mind let the season persuade you to keep god on your side

Sit with me in this undulating sea of concret and center of the continent tides

Roll with me in the green grass of waves that splash us by
never get us wet Say thanks to the Sidewalks and their separation from the street

Strange. The beginning of this city
is the same;
the personality
of your smell
is my flat
it grows out
across my sheets
back in
and i pay
with the few minutes i’ll need to
when I’m late
later

the sun likes my blinds
and your sleeping back
as i wake
easier
for work

looking up, I blink
and count the scabs I see in the sky
and the shouts from annoyed cabbies
and the cuts in my chin

from shaving
smile,
they leak open
and drip down
into the basin
each one pulls down the time
i’m late
but dress casually
all the same
it’s worth while
this
disorder
this
mixing
as I choose
as I fold my tie
watching you sleep
as i dress
and experience
a new laughing
a.m.

making my work day
an agile song

just,
a man
smiling at a streets raven
through a kitchen window
making breakfast
fixed
with
linking steps
that were loose
as we danced home
last night

i learn to do such things
at my desk
preferring to think
of our feet
twelve hours before

yours – in those shoes i love
mine – clumsy
up the stairs
screaming about something i cannit

remember
back to
flat number seven
seven ***** machine guns
seven
taps
on 'enter' now
sending this email
making me laugh
the peach lifts up through the city
and the power
to tell one person
that i’ll see you soon
is more
than enough gas
to find my keys

just enough
to crawl up my blocks stairs
and relax on my back with you
welcoming
disorder
forgetting my boss
watching
the rest of the morning rise up
from the landscape
whilst you sleep in

i laugh under my breathe
keeping it to myself
letting the rest of the day
rise up
beginning
itself.

Just maybe time will run away and leave life behind
Say you’ll continue to stay away just to keep me alive

Mean words and sweet faces won’t reason with goodbye
Things change, you cared, and hope walked a thousand miles

Standing, looking, assuming
Bury those old eyes you thought were blooming  

The truth is sitting in the dark, waiting for you to shine the light
You were promised death, and life forgot to teach you to fight

The world choked on it’s dreams and crashed into a fence
Love missed it’s stop, and now I’m left in suspense  

Happiness is locked in the room next door,
We’d try to find the key if only our feet were flat on the floor

I’ll pour my hate down the sink and proceed to turn my back
Melt the snow with the glow of my smile so I can no longer see the tracks

I guess I shouldn't feel this way, I shouldn't feel bad.
Crying wasted tears over something that never was and never will be.
We didn't matter, we were never supposed to matter.
You didn't care and I certainly wasn't supposed to.

We were having fun, or at least that's what you called it.
You were coming from other beds back to mine,
or going from my bed to others.
But, for me it was my very own practice in masochism.

The other girls didn't hurt me the most.
It was the times where you would forget you didn't love me.
We would be laughing, playing, kissing, joking,
And for a split second, a brief moment in time, we were happy.

Then, this wave of realization would come over your face,
Completely washed clean and devoid of all elation that came before it.
And you would remember;
Remember that you didn't want me, that you didn't need me.

Those were the times where I stitched yet another scar into my skin.
It wasn't your fault though, you told me you didn't want us.
Sure, I was led on by enough half-truths and vague semi-promises,
But I was the one to fill in the rest with what I wanted to hear.

I knew the time we spent together- even the times when I was naked,
in your arms, resting my head on your chest,
were little more than tiny wisps of smoke,
that I was trying to hold on to forever.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other;
I'm trying to fight my instinctive desire to be hurt and walk away.
I've allowed this game to be played for far longer than I should have,
but I can never seem to stay away from you long enough.

You have this power over me; this power that I have given to you.
So I am asking, pleading.
If you cant love me all the way, all the time,
Then please let me go all at once and for good.