Shame
Coursing through me
Making marks on my identity
You are wrong
You are bad
You should be aSHAMEd
Shame
Shame
Shame
Why do you **** me?
Interfering with my life
Defiling my positive nature
Triggering my inadequacies
My inner child is scared
She feels this shame
Not quite understanding
Definitely feeling
Shame

The connection of
My hands on my
Heart and
Womb

Breathing in
Breathing out
Feeling
Allowing

I feel myself
Calming
I feel myself
Present

Emotions bubble up
And I allow them
The tears a release
Tending to my garden

For I
Am blossoming
For I
Am growth

After running a bath
I mount you
And ride
To bliss

My senses are stimulated by
The thoughts flowing from your brain
Flowing through my veins
Stimulating my heart
Thumping to the rhythm of
The back and forth
Of our conversation

Take
Me

Lay me down and
Tie me up and
Cover my eyes as you
Kiss me senseless
Kiss my body
My *******, neck, *******
My *****
Eat her
Sense her divinity
And

Tease
Me

Feather me as you
Read me ****** poetry that you
Wrote with me in mind
Teasing my senses
My energetic nature that
Loves the anticipation of
Your touch

Free
Me

For I am wild
I am sensual
I am a Goddess
Unleashed upon this earth to
Howl at the moon and
Dance with the stars and
Give thanks for my security

Dance
With
Me

Take me in your arms and
Twirl me and
Hold me and
Lead me through the tango of our joint desires as we
Dream and
Live and
Travel that space between
The bliss that is
Our reality

Love
Me

For my love language is
Physical touch and
I love the scent of flowers and
I receive your intention as you
Follow through with actions and
Run me a bath for you know
Pleasure is a necessity
And I crave affection

Massage
Me

Allow me to
Relax into your trusting arms and
Feel your hands as you
Truly take the time to make me feel
In my body

Talk
To
Me

Let’s co-create and
Manifest and
Allow the Universe to bring us
Together

It creeps up and covers my heart
Disconcerting and uncertain feelings purge my mind
Anxieties and insecurities I’d thought I left behind
They’re back now
Sneaky and determined
They cut through any present happiness
Oozing in
Snatching and sticking
Determined to stay
Why can’t they leave?
Why do they always come back?
I feel like I’m stuck in a ******* cycle that keeps wanting to **** with me
Paralyzed with indecision, judgement, and fear
Where did that risk taker go?
Where did that confident, optimistic woman head off to?
Why do I care so ******* much what others think?
Why do I constantly feel the need to cede control in order to please those around me?
Is this adulthood or simply the cusp of it?
I can’t handle this ****
Or maybe it’s that I don’t want to anymore
It’s time for something new
My bravery to morph into the next phase
I deserve to be consistently happy
Everyone deserves happiness
I will accept and embrace my loneliness
For I know staying present can bring happiness
It is coming
It is here
It is now

Thriving to me is
Feeling so in touch
With my intuition
That my life flows
Like a river knowing it’s path
Intuitively

Trusting my instincts
Trusting my
**** yes and **** no
Knowing my Intuitive signs
Trusting my butterflies to affirm me

Feeling balanced
In tune with my body’s needs
Emotionally
Mentally
Physically
Spiritually
Energetically

­For when I trust my body
I trust my intuition
I trust the Universe
I see my butterflies
I feel safe

For I know my signs
I know my truth
I know myself
And that is thriving

I am magical
I manifest

Feeling
Emotions

My greatest desires
Come to me

I feel them
Feel how they will make me feel

It’s Magic
They come to me

The Universe knows exactly what I need
Wants to shower me with abundance

My abundance
Comes to me

For I am abundance
I am Magic

I am
I am

I feel like a lost girl
Scared, alone, sad, lonely
I am lonely
I am scared
I am sad
I isolate
I feel raw inside
My heart hurts
I am lost
Very lost
I don’t reach out
I hardly respond
Because I don’t know what
  to say
I don’t really want to talk
I want to be held
Held for an eternity
I have been crying
I will keep crying
Although my words are
  scarce on my tongue
My pen leaves them open
  to read
Hold me
See me
Let me be me
For I am lost
A lost girl
For now that is me
My tears speak louder
  than my words ever could

My ****** energy
Pulsates throughout my body
Rising
Exploring
She moves through me
Turning me on
Lighting up my senses
I feel
I witness
I allow
I thank her
For she holds space
For my emotions
She curates
My creativity
She expands
My mind
While she blows
My mind
I can choose to tap into her
And she comes alive
For she trusts me
And I trust her
For I trust me
Fully

I am holding,
my baby self.
I love you so much.
You are so precious.
Sacred.
Divine.
Beautiful.
You're sassy.
I love,
how innocent,
you are.
I love,
how you light up the room,
with your smile.
You are such a blessing.
Although you look fragile,
you are strong.
You have everyone wrapped around your finger.
You are intelligent.
You are so loved.
You are held.
I see,
your bright light shining.
I see you,
asking for exactly what you want.
I see you,
soaking up the love,
the joy,
reaching out,
taking it in.
I love your laughter.
I love how it feels,
to hold you in my arms,,
to watch you sleep,
so peaceful.
I love how adorable you are as you stretch.
I love your dimples,
your smile,
your blue eyes.
You're infectious,
in all the good ways.
I love how much you eat.
I love that you go for exactly what you want.
I'm so happy,
that you are mine.

Mm.
Seeing my young adult self.
You are on fire.
I am so ******* proud of you.
You are giving life your all.
You are having fun.
You are making friends.
You are dealing,
with a chronic disease,
like a ******* boss.
I am so proud of you.
I'm proud of who you are,
who you're becoming.
You are gorgeous.
You are so intelligent.
I love your curiosity.
I love all of the knowledge that you are constantly seeking out and soaking in.
I love that you're a bookworm.
I love,
that you,
have so many amazing goals,
and you are going after them.
I'm proud of you for making tough decisions.
I love you so much.
I love how you just keep going forward,
no matter what.
I love that you do extra credit,
that you ask for help,
that you offer help.
I love how involved you are.
You're doing all of these incredible volunteer opportunities
just because it makes you happy and you want to give back
and that is so beautiful.
I love watching you blossom into the leader that you are.
You have such a beautiful soul.
Such a beautiful soul.
You are such an incredible friend.
Such an incredible sister.
Such an incredible daughter.
Your voice is gorgeously amazing.
You are such an incredible singer,
musician,
writer,
poet.
You have so many dreams and you are going after them.
I love that you are friends with everyone in the choir that you are a part of,
the church choir like,
it's just so much fun,
to witness how you just like,
have such an infectious joy about you.
And how music just really lights you up and brings you out of your shell and you just blossom.
I absolutely love witnessing it.
It's magical.
You are such a magical being.
I love you so much.

And here we are today.
I am so proud of everything that you have accomplished.
You stepped into 30.
Oh man,
this new decade,
has already been so incredible.
You are working your dream job as an academic advisor.
Ha,
you are a healer and a coach with your own business.
You are so gorgeous,
such a Goddess.
I love it.
I love you so much.
I'm so proud of all of the goals, education, life experiences, personal development, certifications, everything that you've just
gone after,
and just like,
made the most of.
You are such an incredible, intuitive healer.
Letting that Reiki energy flow through you.
You're amazing.
Your ***** is delightful and delicious.
I love how she leads the way in your life.
Oo.
I love your strip teases,
so gorgeous.
I love how you love being naked.
And I love how free you are.
You are so held.
So, so held.
Oh man,
I am just,
have tears in my eyes,
thinking of everything that we've gone through on this journey,
and look at you,
you're thriving.
I'm proud of all the financial knowledge that you have.
You volunteered for two years,
how incredible is that.
And it's just,
you are so amazing at giving back,
to this world,
to this community.
And also,
look at how much you've embraced your intuition,
your vulnerability.
Look how well you receive.
These are such beautiful things.
You are so loved.
And you have so much love.
And you're so loveable.
I feel it.
I feel it so much.
I feel so blessed that you're here on this journey.
That you've been aligning with your unapologetic self,
living unapologetically,
embracing your Goddess,
letting her out,
letting her lead,
letting your ***** lead.
Oh man,
I love it.
I love your journey.
I love how much you've embraced.
I love your communities.
I love your friends,
like you,
have made such,
and created such,
an incredible life for yourself.
Mwah.
I love you.
And you have a beautiful, **** ***.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

What seemingly appears dead on the outside
Is simply inner growth

Pruning this orchard
Peeling away the layers of neglect
I spotted green growth

Moving bits and pieces
Relocating the *** to a place where
Given the love it deserves

My hands transmit Reiki energy
To this beautiful orchard
Trusting that it’s growth is happening

I trust my inner growth
Will blossom
To outer empowerment

Sometimes I just need to get away
Move locations
Breathe a different air
Feel myself as myself
Differently

A new perspective
Translates to new ideas
Allows for new emotions
While holding space for that which still is
For I am multidimensional

As I breathed in the mountain air
I felt myself opening
My heart opening
For this
This is my home away from home

I love this place
I love what it represents
I love how it makes me feel
I love visiting
I love being

As I write this
Laying on my own bed
My cat looking at me sweetly
Until she turns and shows me her sweet ****
I feel gratitude, joy, and love
For my desire was answered
And I begin anew

My heart feels broken
Without you by my side
For I miss the feel
Of our connection

I miss your laugh
Your smile
Your humor
Your mind

Thank you for making me laugh
Making me smile
Holding me close
Making me feel alive

I cherish the memories
And appreciate those moments
The time we had together
Before we drifted apart

We loved each other
And for that I’m thankful
I’m grateful to have met you
And I wish us both the best

When my body speaks to me
She says I love you
She speaks in rhythms
She says trust
Love me
Hold me
I know you get confused sometimes
At things that happen
But trust me
Listen to me
I’m constantly sending you signs
Tune into me
Listen
Feel
Learn
Love

Rest my dear
For you will find
Your heart will open
As will mine

For we are one
As all are one
Together here
Unknown yet known

I love you dear
My love runs strong
Throughout your veins
And into those

Who see you dear
And hear you dear
Let them see
Let them hear

Voice your spirit
Voice your heart
Voice your love
Voice your thoughts

You’re meant to be heard
You’re meant to be seen
Vulnerability is hard
Yet also is key

When you put yourself out there
You may get hurt
Remember though dear
That I am here

Within you
Throughout you
I’ll take the lead
I’ll help them see

I’ll also comfort
And nurture
And soothe
And hold

As well as steady
And ground
Loving
While urging

You forward my dear
For you are meant to shine
Shine your light for others
To find their path

For your example
Though hard at times
Will pave the way
For those who are meant

To see you
To hear you
Ah yes
The theme

Allow
Allow
My dear
Allow

There’s a fire in my core

I
Feel it

This feeling of

R a p t u r e

Filling me
Spurring me forward

I
Feel it

Captivating my senses

Moving inward
Outward
Upward
Downward

Energizing my whole being

I
Feel it

Traveling thru my Chakras
Opening a channel

Life force
Energy

Mm

My ***** lights up
Sacral energy igniting

B r e a t h e

M o v e

S o u n d

Mm
Yes

You magnificent being
Look at yourself
Allow yourself to f e e l

My hips sway to the music of rage
Growling and screaming
Beating on the ground
Primal wild beast that I am

My hands move across my body
Fingers lacing through my hair
And landing over my heart and womb
Tears begin to flow
As I honor the grief
Holding space
Hips swaying

Turning it on in front of the mirror
Checking myself out
The smile begins
As my hips sway to the rhythm
The truth hits me

All of me is real
All of me is valid
All of me deserves to be seen

I feel tethered
As though I cannot do right by
Those who judge me
And yet
Who are they to judge
My choices
For I make my own choices
I own my freedom of words
Of self expression
I am a beacon
For those who resonate
For my light shines through
Those darkest nights
And my darkness encapsulates
Those emotions for which
We are most shamed
I am angry
I am sad
I am luscious
I am pure joy and love
I am all of these at once
For my emotions span greater than 88 keys
All of which I yearn to play
Let me play
Says my body
Let me play
Says my Empowered Goddess within
I will show you
The truth

I feel wounded
Your words and actions
They hurt me and haunt me

I could ask why
But why doesn’t lead anywhere
So why even bother

I both understand
And don’t understand
Friendship

What is friendship
Exactly
When it can be simultaneously

Ecstatic and
Hurtful
As we all evolve

What is a foundation of friendship
Built upon
When it seems to no longer exist

My inner child
Cries out
Enough

She feels hurt
Feels wounded
Feels tired

There’s such a feeling of
Tiredness
It’s overwhelming

Numb
Sometimes I numb out
Protecting myself from the hurt

Holistically I know
That to feel
Is to heal

But feeling hurts
It’s hurting me
To lean into

Those feelings
Of hurt
Of frustration

Of feeling like
What the **** happened
And why am I constantly misunderstood

Gah
It’s out
I’m misunderstood

I’m unique
I’m loving
I try to be kind

And yet
My words don’t resonate
My conversation doesn’t flow

My passions
Are separate
From those around me

Maybe I should just
Let myself be
Me

**** the misunderstandings
I can just express myself
And be me

But can I
Am I capable of that
And what if I’m judged

Hm but then the question is
Would I rather hold myself back
In fear of people’s judgements

Or fully express myself
And feel
Alive

The wounding will come
The wounding will go
I will be here

I hug myself
Sit in nature
Process the feels

I am a beautiful being
I am worthy of being loved
I deserve understanding

Yes I am
Yes I do
Yes

Dear Body,

I reclaim our radiance!

You are a vessel,

We are a vessel.

We bring life, joy, healing, and light.

I love you.

I love us.

I trust you.

I trust us.

You are safe.

We are safe.

I feel safe.

I reclaim this feeling of safety.

For you.

For us.

For me.

Just looking at you
Makes me smile
You remind me to be sassy
You’re soft
Smooth
And I love listening to and feeling
Your motor run
You understand
When I invite you to cuddle
You trust me fully
And I’ll never take your trust for granted
We play
We nap
You talk to me
And follow me
Wait for me to come home
You’re adorable
And I appreciate your love
I love you so much
My precious cat

I felt like my heart was breaking
When I thought about you

It’s an odd feeling
Since you’re my dad

But there were the tell-tale signs

It’s a nostalgic feeling
Combined with a sadness
And a despairing emotional turn

It’s sad really
Terrifying in some ways
To think that I’m not loved

It isn’t true though

He loves me
He cares about me

I don’t think he likes me though
At least not the majority of the time

He thinks I don’t listen
That I’m ungrateful

I think he’s wrong
That he doesn’t hear me

I’ve been living here
In this environment
For a long time

I feel unwelcome by him

Yes
My heart truly breaks for us
For him

I care deeply for my father
I love my father
Yet
I don’t know how to express this
While maintaining my authentic self expression

Some days I give up
Hole away in my treehouse room
Lay in bed or distract myself

Other days I try
I speak and smile
I still go up to my treehouse room
It’s my space

I wonder if it will ever change
If our relationship will improve

I hope so
I hope our hearts mend
Our wounds heal
Our emotions open
And we spread joy and contentment
Just as the sun setting and rising spreads beauty and hope

I felt that feeling in my heart
When I left you at the bus stop
That sadness that occurs
When I don’t know when I’ll see you next
It hurts a bit
It feels unsure
It grasps for you
Where you were before
It’s time to leave
I look out the window
See you standing there
Tears well in my eyes
Emotion shows on my face
I hug myself
As it passes
I smile at the memories we made
Resting now
The journey begins
In the future
We’ll meet again