It all started with a swipe right
On a funny white paper hat
Atop a cute fellow
In a white Mustang.

Conversation slowly deepened
Until a call steepened
The newfound heat
Between the two.

A call to meet up turned into an adventure,
A night,
Then two,
Then three.

The connection they found
Was unreal,
Based in passion and similarity,
But not yet clarity.

Carved out of their schedules
Was time for one another:
A way to let loose
And ****** their minds.

But they must hold back!
Don't become attached!
He's leaving.
She's staying.
Distance breaks bonds like theirs.

She cannot stop herself
She becomes enraptured
With the ocean of his eyes,
His smile, his terrible singing
She falls in love with his life.

Somewhere along the line
He slips and falls
For her curves, her mind,
And her intoxicating personality.

So they continue in secret...
Afraid to say words that sting,
Afraid to let the heart sing,
For what it desires.

But tides turn toward the sun...
And suddenly he isn't leaving!
The heavens open up
To possibilities they could both only dream about.

They let the feelings sneak out,
Stopped maintaining the veil,
And let it show.

Six months and counting,
What would you know?

Glide, glide
Lithe little butterfly
Do with freedom's grace

Glide, glide
Across the meadows
Of classic red brick
And limestone slick
From rain and rain and rain

Glide, glide
Away from danger
Little butterfly
Be unfettered
By the flutters of others

Glide, glide
Show your colors true!
If only by this
Can you know you

Glide, glide
Little butterfly
Till dusk comes rest
Where in the rainbows of the sky
You return to where you belong

Glide, glide
Little butterfly
Peace, peace, peace

Silence
Golden silence
Sweet as a siren's song
From the oceans of the sky

Rich red velvet
The antique vanilla of wood
Wafting through every corner
With the cool, mellow breeze
Limestone pillars calling to my aching soul
Bars echo the hollow voice of the *****
More massive than Cerberus itself

High gold sheens
With the sparkle of prayer
To an all-knowing God
Mosaics of thought weave themselves into
Stained masterpieces

Here my soul can cry out
Not afraid of passers' by!
Though the peace coaxes me
Into mighty reverence

A breathe,
A sigh,
Ease.

Tall chairs, no backs
Short chairs, tall backs
Arranged in geometric mazes of social anxiety

Round arrangements of fruits, salad
Burgers, comfort foods on rotation
Fruity drinks, PUSH here
Infused water to dull the senses

Alone and lonely
Tall chairs
In front of a screen projecting my insecurities
Stalkers and murderers
A Lifetime of Crime

Friendly face appears around the corner
Handsome tanned face, ***** blonde hair
Eyes clear as blue-tinted topaz on a sunny day
Music had connected us once upon a night
Briefly
And here we are again

Sunday small talk
Over eggs sunny side up and the false illusion of a smile
Church, homework, moods of days
Then on the subject of RAs
"I met him before school,
As part of the Summer Bridge Program"

"I know, I came early too.
Now we're even."

In the cast of all my burdening sensibilities
We are even
You feel it too, don't you?
Pretty face, pretty eyes
All just lies

Sixty fakers masquerading as one of them
Beautiful girls with tanned skin
Hair masterfully tangled into curls enrapturing
The male focus
The boys with smiles brighter than summer clouds
Chiseled so well da Vinci would be proud
Striped cards glazed with a sweetness so thick
Masqueraders envy

Can it be spoken of?
Can I do this?
Can I do that?
Why do I even try?
They know I'm not like them
But I want them to like me
But my conscientiousness, my pride, my will to stay alive
Threatens to swallow me whole
Until all that's left is crumbs
Of guilt, self-consciousness and greed

I am an imposter
I'm always the one that's not like the others
Alienation

I want to reach out and caress them

But they're u n t o u c h a b l e

To those like me

A ******* the corner
In the red rain coat
Is blowing a gum bubble
With the finest bubblegum in town.

As it expands, she sees lovers meet,
Children being born,
Friends meeting for coffee across the street,
All in the blink of an eye.

The bubblegum stretches miles in seconds
Dreams expand to the beat of her heart
Rings, homes, kisses, fantasies,
Flavorful and impassioned.

Too far, too fast
The bubble pops far too soon
Fights, blights, illness, death
Returning back to the sanctity from which it had arisen.

All that's left of the bubble are memories
Of those it affected
Deflating slowly but surely
Into the eternal abyss.

Intimacy isn't just bodies for
Skin-to-skin contact to superficial
Swapping of spit
And all the other ****** fluids known to man.
Flesh degrades.
That's what medicine exists for.
Therefore *** is easy.

Intimacy is the heart-to-heart connections.
There is no shortcut, no replacement.
Those who have it thrive.
Those who don't feel the void
Yet cannot satisfy it alone.
Many try *** and fail.
*** exists to deepen intimacy,
And without such is simply a stream
Of happy, happy chemicals
An ephemeral high...
Meaningless.

I crave the ability to gaze upon
The surface of a soul,
To glide my fingers in the warm pool
Of emotion,
Of trust,
Of love;
To hold another being in my arms
And soothe a ravishing, ravaged heart
Much like my own.
And to know that such is reciprocated equally
To my broken self.

I crave this more than anything
So I must wait.

The door clicks
The light flickers off
You go from being part of "them"
To being you
Alone besides inanimate belongings
Lending only temporary distraction
From yourself.

In the dark,
There are no boogie men
Only your conscious berating
Assaulting
Worries rain
Tears fall
And no one's the wiser.

Every statement becomes a question
Every little insecurity metastisizing
Growing to ail the mind.

Fear not
The light will come again
And when it does,
Happiness will float down
Like petals after a summer wind
To comfort and ease your suffering

Do good
Do the best you can
And all that you deserve will follow.