So many boxes.
Of temporal treasures.
I pack them.
I wrap item after item.
To place in.
Box after box.
Of temporal treasures.
To be relocated.
To a new, temporal palace.
A smaller palace.
A humbler palace.
A palace where I will boldly confess...
"As for me and my house,
we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

So many boxes.
Of temporal treasures.
Which cannot satisfy.
But leave the heart empty.
Box after brown box.
Small, medium, large.
To be relocated.
To a new, temporal palace.
A house for His glory.
For I am finished.
With setting my affections upon...
Box after box.
Of temporal treasures.
Which cannot satisfy.
But leave the heart empty.
I will seek my treasure in eternity.
In things above.
Which will never pass away.

So many boxes.
Of temporal treasures.
To be relocated.
To a new, temporal palace.
While awaiting me stands.
A mansion in glory.

The Way out of my fear
is trusting the Good Shepherd.
One step at a time.
Only.
One.
Step.
Until my eyes are opened
to see I can trust Him.
He woos me with cords of His Love.
Into a place of rest.
A place of trust.

Yet another step.
And more trust comes.

The Way out of my fear
is trusting Jesus.
One step at a time.
Until beyond my fear...
Walking into my fear...
He shows me a blessing.
Hidden there.
He shows me the Gift.
The Glory.
When I face my fear.
One step.
At a time.

Twirling and leaping,
softly across the floor.
Hands raised up and
spread out wide
like the wings of a bird.
She performs a dance of worship
for her Lord.
"This is for You, Jesus," she whispers,
just as the music begins.
She prays that it will delight His heart
to watch her dance.
For it is her gift to Him tonight.
To dance on the wings of praise.
With passion in every step she takes,
and joy in every move she makes.

The Lamb of God
wore a crown of thorns.
Pressed down hard upon His brow.
Piercing ****** into His holy brain.
That my mind might be healed by His Word
of Truth.
That I might clearly see.

The Lamb of God
wore striped wounds upon His back.
That the heavy burden of sins I bear.
Might be unloaded at the foot of His Cross.
Forgiven.
And left there.

The Lamb of God
was nailed to a tree.
With excruciating wounds to His
hands and feet.
That I might from sin's chains
be forever released.

The Lamb of God
faced fear for me.
Through ****** tears of agony.
The Garden of Gethsemane. (Luke 22:22-24)
That I might be a lamb in His arms.
Who need never fear what may come.

The Lamb of God
was abandoned by all.
Family, friends, and even God His Father.
Left alone to die on a cruel Cross.
With broken heart.
And pain of loss.
That I might never be alone.
That my heart might be healed
of every scar and wound.

The Lamb of God
was pierced in the side.
Laughed at.
Scorned.
Stripped naked.
Made Monstrous. (Isaiah 52:14)
That I might be made beautiful.
That I might be forgiven.
That I might be clothed with Him.

Oh, how deep, how great, how unfathomable
is His Love!
I weep over this...
And my own unworthiness.

The Lamb of God
breathed His last.
"Father, forgive them." (Luke 23:34)
"It is finished." (John 19:30)
He was laid in a new tomb to rest.
While those He loved mourned, and had
their faith put to the test.

The Lamb of God
Oh glory! He rose!
On the third day.
Just as He promised.
"He is not here. He has risen.
Just as He said." (Matt. 28:6)
Just.
As.
He.
Said.

The Lamb of God
The Risen Christ
My Lord and my God!
Raised to life.
That I might walk new and redeemed.
As forgiven.
Treasured.
Loved.
And prized.

The Lamb of God.
The Lamb who gave up all for me.
Who gave up all for you.
The Lamb of God.
Who won the victory.
Oh, how I love my Lamb of God!
Who gave up all.
To set us free.

I teach her to paint flowers.
I play cards with her.
I wheel her outside in her wheelchair.
In the warm, sunny air.
I show her I care.
While my dear mother in Heaven
looks down and smiles.
I smile too.
And then.
Shed a tear.

White, glittery snow.
Like frosting on branches.
Hung so low.
Beneath the Winter sky of blue.
Shadows of branches
upon the white.
Like an etching upon a page
that's blank.
Blank page.
Newly fallen snow.
New tracks to be made.
In my new life that lies ahead.
I reach a field...
Blank page.
White snow.
I have the urge to run.
Ready...
Set...
Go!
Snow splashes up
like cold bath powder over my feet.
As I run with joy
across the big expanse.
Making new tracks.
In newly fallen snow.
Upon a blank page.
I leave footprints so bold.
A flock of doves flies over me.
Lord, I am taking this personally.
As Your message to me.
That I am, at last,
Free.
Blank page.
White snow.
New tracks.
New.
Life.

(edited)

Jesus.
Lover of my soul.
Teach me to run
into Your arms.
Teach me to come to You.
And never let go.
Let me not be as
the horse or the mule.
Who need bit and bridle.
Or they will never come near.
Break me, Lord.
Of my stubborn, wayward,
idolatrous ways.
Let me love You enough
that my heart breaks
at the mere thought.
Of causing You grief.
Oh, may the thought
of that
bring me to my knees.
May it cause me to turn
from my rebellious ways.

Make me willing to come
to You, Jesus.
And run far away from rival lovers.
Let it not take You thrusting
the bridle of discipline on me.
For me to choose the path of life.
May every broken cistern I hew out.
Leave me so thirsty.
That I will more.
And more.
Come near.
To Thee.

Lord, You are my Candle in the dark.
When the loneliness and despair
grips hold of me.
When the darkness of this trial is all that I see.
You are my Light.
I will hold my Candle in the dark.
And from Your Presence,
I will not depart.

He wears a shell of black armour over his chest.
Over his heart.
To self-protect.
Afraid to be hurt.
Afraid to let anyone in.
Not wanting to be wounded...
again.
Not wanting to be vulnerable.
For the last time he was...
it was a disaster.
She tries to hold him close,
putting her arms around
his cold black shell.
He responds only with a hard smile.
And won't let her get closer.
Won't let her touch his heart.
But...
she is determined to love him.
Her love is bold.

Over many days,
many months,
many years.
She continues to love.
Until finally,
the black armour over his heart
begins to dissolve.
Slowly, magically,
dents appear,
then cracks,
then holes.
Pieces break off,
at first only small.
And then...
larger and larger do they fall.
Away from his heart.
Until at last...
exposed and vulnerable,
he lets love in.
And learns how to love her.
In return.

Strolling up green grassy hill,
and through forest in summer breeze.
I come upon two paths
leading both high and low.
One is wider, and the other is narrow.
Like paths of life,
paths of choice.
Before me.

Which shall I take?

The wider, the easier, the popular?
Upon which many shall tread.
The path of comfort.
The path of man's approval.
The path.
Of the soul's dead?

Or shall I take the straight, the narrow,
upon which few shall travel.
The path of self-denial.
The path of suffering.
The Way of the Cross.
The Way.
Of Life.
The narrow path of trial and difficulty.
Upon which few shall walk with me.

The narrow, straightened Way.
The Way of Glory.
The Way of Eternity.
Where my Good Shepherd travels
side by side with me.

Which path shall I choose?
I have already chosen it.
When I lost what I did love so dear.
And replaced it with comparing
all things as loss,
compared to knowing Christ my Lord.

I have chosen the narrow path.
The path upon which few travel.
For me it is the only Way.
To Life.

I am like a crooked little Christmas tree.
My trunk is bent.
Branches are broken off.
In various places.
My needles are drying up.
And falling off.
Imperfect.
Flawed.
Broken.
Misshapen.
Distorted by sin.

And yet...
Still He loves me.
Because He bought me.
For a very high price.
The Blood of His Son.
Still He loves me.
In all my twistedness.
In all my waywardness.
Because He owns me.

I am like a crooked Christmas tree.
But He still puts His Light upon me.
And adorns me with His Love.
Transforming me.
From broken.
From crooked.
To beautiful.

I looked into the eyes of an eagle
on my holiday.
Overwhelmed was I
by his awesome strength and beauty.
So full of power and majesty.

What a magnificent creature
is the bald eagle I see.
On the bare branch before me.
He is so close that it takes my breath away.
Such beauty.
Such power and majesty.
Perched triumphantly on the tall stump
before the mighty mountain.
Breathtaking.
Majestic.
Beautiful.
Glorious.
A glimpse of God's glory.

I looked into the eyes of an eagle
on my holiday.
A lifelong dream has been fulfilled for me.
So full of power and majesty.

And then...
he flies away.
I hear the ****** of his gigantic wings.
I.
am.
undone.
Glory.
Glory.
Glorious eagle.
Full of power and majesty.

Your powerful hands formed the mighty mountains,
which firmly stand.
How could it be that those powerful hands,
can also hold me so gently?
Hold me through my tears of loneliness and loss.
Hold me in my fear,
as I realize the cost.
Lord, You are power.
You are gentleness.
And in Your care,
I shall rest.

Lord Jesus.
Without You I crumble.
Under the weight.
Of fear.

With You.
I am a mountain
Unshakeable.

Dear God,
this is my prayer...
To be so grounded
in Your love for me.
That I will be.
Unshakeable.

Sorrow
upon
sorrow.
I let
the tears
flow.
And I learn the pain
of letting
go.
I drown
in the loss.
Of your love.
And all we could have been.
Sorrow
upon
sorrow.
I let the tears flow.
Flooding
over
me.
Flooding
over
me.
I let
them
flow.
And I learn
the pain
of letting
go.
Until...
at last...
I am whole.
Again.

(edited)

How I want you to know how much He loves you,
but I cannot convince you it's true.
How I want you to know that you are forgiven
and can have a new life,
but I cannot make you see that sin causes strife.
How I would like to be the one who leads you to Him,
to pray the prayer that will be the new beginning.
For you.
Perhaps I am not the final link in the chain of souls
who brings you to God.
Perhaps it is someone else down your life's road.
But I thank the Lord that I can be a link in the chain.

This is not the end of my story.
It is merely the conclusion of many chapters.
It is the end of part one of an epic.
Which is my life.
The next chapter is not yet written.
The next part is yet blank.
I take God's hand.
As together...
we write...
my new beginning.

She has been blessed.
With many friends.
Faithful friends.
Faith-filled friends.
Followers of Him.
They fellowship together.
In prayer and
the reading of the Word.
She is filled with gratitude.
But also remembers.
There is only One friend.
Who "sticks closer than a brother." (Prov. 18:24)
And He alone holds the key to her heart.
Forever.
For He is always.
Always.
There.

Face to face.
I let You love me.
And cast out my every fear.

Face to face.
I let You unlock my heart.
With Your tenderness.

Face to face.
I let You teach me.
Your ways.

Face to face.
I speak to You.
As my closest Friend.
And I hear.
Your tender voice.
Such love!
Such intimacy!
Oh, why have I
spent so much of my life.
Running from You.
Spurning Your affections.
Grieving Your heart.
Avoiding...
the Wilderness.

But now...
but now...
Face to face.
You draw me.
Closer and closer.
With cords of Love.
You ravish my heart,
O Lover of my soul!

Face to face.
I give myself to You.
In surrender.
In trust.

Face to face.
My eyes see You.
My heart hears You.
As I submit myself
to Your rod and staff.
In Your Refiner's fire,
You consume.
All my dross.

In the wilderness.
In the grief.
In the darkness.
I behold You.
Face to face.
In intimacy.

My mourning
is turned
into dancing.
As I behold Your
glory, Your wisdom,
Your unending love.
And come away.
With healed wounds.
With fears  calmed.
With renewed purpose.
Having beheld You.
Face to face.

The trees shed their leaves.
Gracefully they fall.
Dying.
Dying.
Returning to the earth.
With autumn comes death.
And beauty.
Death and beauty.
Is there beauty even in death?
Death to self.
Death to every way in me that has brought grief.
Death which ends the struggle.
Between dark and light.
Between wrong and right.
With autumn comes death.
And beauty.
Breathtaking beauty.
And death.
Death to self.
Bringing life.
And freedom.
Bringing the promise...
of Spring.

Don't let go of me,
lest I be swallowed up by the waves.
Don't be silent to me,
lest I be among those who go down to the grave.
Don't take Your eyes off of me,
lest I waste away from grief.
From Your care, O Lord, grant me no release.
Lest I, from fear's grip,
find no peace.
Be not far away from me, dear Lord,
lest my soul never find healing,
and be forever scarred.
Don't let go of me.
O, speak to me, God.
Speak to me.
For my very life hangs upon Your Word.
Be not silent.
Be not silent.
Lest my soul within me perish from a slow death.
Be not far from me, dear Lord.

Break into my frozen heart, Lord.
And melt it with Your love.
Break down my protective walls,
like bars of iron.
And capture my soul
with Your mercy.
Sweep me up in Your arms,
with passion and fury.
In the unrelenting love
of a Lover for His Beloved.
That I may no longer resist You.
Lord, I ask You,
I give You permission.
To break and enter
into my inmost being.
And utterly transform me.
For my freedom.
For Your glory.

Darkness becomes Light,
when Christ is within my sight.
Fear is transformed into faith,
when I see He is powerful and great.
Bitterness evaporates,
making way for forgiveness,
when I consider my Lord's words
as He hung on the Cross...
"Father, forgive them..."

Weakness converts to confident strength,
as I abide in His love...
its depth and its length.
Complaint is silenced,
and gratitude is hammered into my soul,
as I see more of the only One
who can make me whole.

Jesus.
Jesus.
You turn my sorrow into joy and singing,
as I realize I am complete in You.
Oh, Lover of my soul,
who is faithful
and true.

My feet still touch earth.
My mother's are in Heaven.
But we are together.
One in Spirit.
As we worship our Risen Lord.
Hand in Hand.
Before His Throne.
Together in Spirit are we.
No longer parted.
Though my feet touch earth.
And hers.
Touch Heaven.

The smiles of children.
Brighten my world.
And just for that moment.
My fears are stilled.
And my sorrows drift away.
Like
a
dark
cloud.
Unveiling the sun.
Through the smiles of children.
Who brighten my world.

(edited)

I think of you now in Paradise.
Where the roses never die.
You stand beside Him in Glory.
In irreproachable Light.
Clothed in brilliant white.
Beside your Heavenly Bridegroom.
Holding a bouquet of red roses in your hands.
You are His Bride.
In whom He delights.
I am happy for you, sweet mother.
Although I miss you so.

A gentle smile alights your face.
As you stand beside Him.
Bathed in glorious Light.
Your heart is healed and whole now.
I see you running through gardens of roses,
Like a little girl.
With your Good Shepherd next to you.
Roses.
How you loved them!
Red roses.

Now you dwell in Glory.
Forever with the One who loves you perfectly.
Who loves you passionately.
Together you walk hand in hand with Your Eternal Bridegroom.
Where the roses never die.
Where the roses.
Never.
Die.

Timid.
Fearful.
Insecure.
Afraid to speak.
Afraid to act.
Afraid sometimes to take a stand.
But then...
But then...
The Eternal One,
Mighty and Strong.
Takes hold of her hand.
And teaches her how to sing His song.
The Song of the Lion.

You are the One who dwells in incomprehensible light.
It burns so bright,
that I must veil my eyes from the sight.
Of You.
You are the Light-breather,
with eyes like fire.
And a voice like the sound of many waters.
The Holy One.
Who dwells in inextinguishable light.
You are the Light-Breather.
And when I dwell in Your Light,
the darkness is nowhere in sight.
You are the Light of my Life.
And in You there is no darkness.
You are the Light-Breather.
Oh, breathe Your Light upon me.
That I might truly see.

I sit and watch them go by.
Walker after walker.
Pushed by elderly folks  
with frail hands and crippled joints.
Slowly they struggle.
Along life's journey.
Does anyone care?
Does anyone see the pain
behind their empty stare?
Or are we too locked up
in our haunting fear?
For someday,
we may be one of them.
Struggling along life's journey.
Pushing a walker.
With frail hands and crippled limbs.

I sit and watch them go by.
Walker after walker.
The uphill climb of pain.
For the elderly.

In a mall full of walkers.

(edited)

Jesus.
Lover of my soul.
Eternal Husband.
You are my First and Greatest Love.
I am eternally devoted to You.
You have shown me who I truly am.
I am finished walking down a path of sin.
I choose to avoid the snares of temptation.
And I want nothing to ever come between us again.

Jesus.
Your Love is overwhelming.
Healing all my brokenness.
Healing all my scars.
You are my First and Greatest Love.
You alone hold first place in my heart.
You have my full devotion.
You have my complete adoration.
And I want nothing.
I want no one.
To ever come between us again.
Every other love holds second place to You.
For You alone are my First and Greatest Love.

My home is on a beautiful planet.
Of blue and green.
Seen from space,
It is breathtaking.
Fragile.
Beautiful.
Endangered.
Threatened.
Very precious to the heart of God.
Who created it all.
With the breath of His mouth.
And the Word of His power.

Beautiful blue-green planet.
So dear to the heart of God.
With those He loves dwelling upon it.
Every creature deeply cherished.
By its Creator.

He who sits above the circle of our
blue-green planet,
holds it in His sovereign hands.
For it is He who holds
all dominion,
all authority,
all control.
Over
our
beautiful,
fragile,
Blue-Green Planet.

A gust of autumn's wind.
And the leaves dance down.
So many at once.
Like a shower of
glimmering gold coins.
Falling to the earth.
I stare out my window.
At gusts
and
showers of gold.
And I am
wonderstruck.

(edited)

Brilliant.
Dazzling.
New leaves burst forth.
In Spring's glorious green.

Brilliant.
Breathtaking.
Blossoms of violet and purest white.
Upon trees standing stately.
In morning light.

Radiant trees announce God's resurrection life.
Flowers of beauty herald the fragrance of Christ.

Winged songbirds.
Frolicking squirrels.
Rabbits now brown.
Every living thing dances with renewed life.

And I dance with them.
In the joy of new healing.
And renewed strength.

I rejoice in the wonder of Spring.
Awestruck.
By the greatness of God.
The Living God who created all things.
And fashioned with beauty.
Spring's glorious gems.