You always claimed
That I was fake
Around certain people
But only those you disliked
Around my ex
Around my best friend
Around those who made me laugh and act in a different way to you
But baby,
Do you ever think?
Maybe you were the one I was fake around
Maybe I was a lie
Or maybe you were just the control freak

The cancer card

You know what
Some people are vile
Some people are truly disgusting

I have cancer
And don't you dare
Don't you even dare say
That I am playing some kind of "card"
The cancer card as you call it

Cancer
You have no idea what's it's like to have cancer
You have no idea
Cancer comes in
With her stiletto heels
And bright gleaming eyes
Filled with intrigue at your
"normal life"
And cigarette breath
She changes your entire life in
One day
Actually, one second

When the doctor says
You may have leukemia
And tears start to bundle at your eyes
You heart screams
"no no no no no"
And you go for the blood tests
And you pray to God his assumption is
wrong
You cry all night
You don't sleep
You toss and you turn
And your best friend holds you and cries
And the next day
You find out you have cancer
You're going to have chemotherapy straight away
You're going to lose all you hair
Life is going to be hard for you now
You have cancer

Cancer isn't some joke
It isn't some card
It's not a game of snap
Or any card game
It isn't a card I play
And when I win
I win sympathy
No no no
Cancer is real
And scary
And it doesn't like to be
Ignored

A week ago
I was lost and afraid
Scared of the word cancer
Leukemia uttered into the air
That this is my life now

Crazy how life can change from one word

Now
I have Faith
I am trusting God
This is my journey back into His arms
This is me realising my name is engraved in the Palm of His Hand
And God has a purpose
He is a good Father
Who does not abandon his children
I am carrying faith in Him
I am staying positive
Because God has got this
God is in complete control
And I trust Him
With this diagnosis

I think I lost my soul mate
The man of my dreams
God please bring him back
Please tell him
Please
Please hear my prayer
I miss my best friend

I hate pining over my ex
But it's what I do
I ***** everything up

D
You
Please tell him I miss him
More than anything
I never appreciated him
God, he was such a **** gem
But I wasn't ready
Please bring him Back, God
Please

I hate anniversaries
I hate that I remember dates
I hate that it's the first of October
And I remember a year ago
The first time
My heart got broken into a million pieces
The day you destroyed me
Without a care in the world
And I haven't been quite whole since