The silent songs that I hear seem so far away
Like a distant whiff and chaff loikw the wind,
I close my eyes and let the whisperers tell me their secret.
For years, I travelled on a road that had me comparing and striving fo something that was never there.
I felt like I was in despair and if I was utterly confused.

And then I found my peace in a better piece.
A poem that settled my mind at ease, that had me cruising above more than I could see. I left a little part of me in everyone I've met and so it was the cause for wonder when I caught up in a glam dream.

My peace that I found in Eartyhwas a single poem found named
Desiderata. Thank you for my peace the one that actually !akes me sleep.

"I was always an unusual girl,. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no fixed personally just aninner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean."
I felt like a ghost walking in a body, living only to die, living only to exist.
The war in my mind had me singing Ride by Lana like it was my national anthem. I walked about, helpess, pityless, heartless, tirelessy. Breathing, existing, breathing, existing ,breay=thing, existing....only exising.
Nothing seemed to matter these days, now that it was gone.
The light that was once in my eyes went out with a single blow and I walked around like a ghost with noting left and that was what it seemed.

Hurt by hurt
Blow by Blow
Dust by Dust
Breeze By breeze
Ocean to Ocean
And thats where it hapened,the spectre of my soul rises and hunts to haunt and the breathes a new life to start of.
The ghost of life is alive and never seems to rest
Restlessness
Selfishness turns to Selflessness
And it hunts
And it breathes
And its alive and then it says
Welcome back,this is home,.

......

........
And....


I......


Am..................­.................                            


                                     SPECTRE

She was a tornado in the night that came to tear down everything in her way. He has left her broken, sad and distraught. So her only thoughts were to give him the same h lol he had our he through. Three months is not a long time for you to fall in liver they said.
But they didn't know that those three months represented three years. She remembered every moment, every kiss, every movie, every tear they had shared, and yet still when she needed him most, he disappeared. So now as after every storm there is a calm, she is busy rebuilding herself to what she was. Things will never be the same again. The lesson that nobody ever learns that you never go back to who you are. And as the memories twist in he head like a kaleidoscope, she sheds two more tears for three more years. And just like that it's ending. She jumps off a cliff and only hears the wind as she closes her eyes, feel get downward descent. She lands with a small gasp as she remembers the first time they met)

Rey del Lana
Her beauty is bright,
She sings like a nightingale
Who hasn't experienced fright.
Tall and radiant as if in a 60's movie
She sings about the other woman
Pity she doesn't know who is she.
Lana del Rey is like the daughter of a god. She is everything that a girl would be , to have to trod.
Lana is a fiery beacon in a land of gods and monsters, she rides when there is a war in her mind.
Marilyn her mother is happy about her baby, Whitman her dad has made her a poet. Lana del Rey, where would I be without you? I'm happy your life experiences have made me better. I'm glad I can celebrate the day with you.
Let's drink some wine and feel the blues, Lana den Rey, imagine if I were I your shoes....!

Do you know what it feels like after a long, drawn out day at work? So tired that your feet hurts ams head never stops pounding? So tired that its hard to catch your breath or a break? That no words of motivation, courage or anything else helps?
I know what its like..
I know how it feels...
It has happened to me....
And here I am , felon as tired as an old lady,
I want to rest in heaven,

I'm to tired to walk, so let my angel carry me away....
..,...................,....................

The feeling is one of a drunkard,
Stumbling and falling, lightheadedness
And distant memories. He pain I feel boh physically and emotionally is turmoil, up and down and nowhere to rest.
I skim and laugh and everything which is a blur,
The memories I had, the pain I fuel through them.
Hurt ain't easy and the love comes hard,
But I'd rather cold and distant than this love.
My insanity proves right, that there is hurt pain and things to go away but to away with it. No more, no more. I am not a about yo let it.

We were from different worlds; He from a time where the Cold War went on, and I from a time  where people were happy.
He was never really mine, not by bllod anyways.
But the deep joy and space that he held in my heart ,
Sometimes I had to see if he really knew it.
He was mine to keep forever. I loved him more than I did anyone on this Earth. He was second to the Best thing that came to me
God comes First.
His mentality, intellect, fast billion mind has me wrapped up in amazement for days.
There were days and times that I would cry as I always wondered,
If, and only if He knew how much he meant to me.
I loved him more than stars but not more than the Creator of them.
I loved him more that the terrible dragon who bore me.
He was real, He was my real father. So why didn't he see, How much I love him, How much I care, How much without Him , I would never be here. Why does he goes rogue when he other calls?
Yes he is a dad but He is my father.
I love him more than I do money of food as at the end of the day
Neither of those would I choose, to ever put over you.
You are my sun my star and moon but God has a bigger place over you.
Don't worry my dear rasta dad, You are the greatest thing, second to me that I could and would ever have.

To think of it was immortal
To dream of it was sin
And to want to live it was monstrous.
There was a fire when she was only three,and by then
Her mother was a crack *****, her father no where to be found. She moved from foster homes to foster homes and abuse was her only friend. She turned eighteen and the candle of love which she held ,burned out in the night.
She became what she was supposed to have been years ago:
Torn, worn , a miserable monster. Now she wanders down, a very lonely road, looking for another lover so she can have money for her home. A car stopped at her footsteps
And a faint smile curved on the man's lips
'Heya suga, how much is it for a sweet time?'
'Fifty is enough for the night'.
She got in and he turned of to be a cop.
She spent her last days in prison,no more in parking lots.
So as the ME stands over her, the assistance says,
'I hope she had closure' and covered her now while body.

How do we create a system in which women are really free?
Is that we want undefined freedom where we have no men and we hve what lesbians have? Or do we want the same equal rights as men?
We as feminist cannot be so narrow minded
+Liberal feminists want women to have the same equal rights as men.
Are they not the same women who want their men to be all-male and masculine?
+Marxist/socialist feminists  focuses on investigating and explaining the ways in which women are oppressed through systems of capitalism and private property. According to Marxist feminists, women's liberation can only be achieved through a radical restructuring of the current capitalist economy in which much of women's labor is uncompensated. For these women, do not realize that they are the ones who chose to became mother's and end up with the 'unpaid compensation' of taking care of the child that comes along.
Radical feminism blames men entirely on the exploitation.
If there was no men, would we have been as happy as expected if we were to really revolutionize this system, of oppression, capitalism,discrimination and exploitayion.
As women, it is always right to fight for what we believe in.
But it is the truth that we should fight for, justice and peace among men.
Exploits made my men over years have cause women, who are considered'by nature' to be subject class , to think that they are really less than men. ?In truth, we are made from the same flesh and organs just as them.

Is it not us females who bleed once a month, bears children and cope with the problems that comes with the family we have to grow and breed?
We are strong enough but at the end of the day we need someone to submissive to and that should only ne the lawful wedded husband that the Lord himself has granted us with.
We are called to be strong but submissive when the time and place  comes as there is a time and place for everything understand.

Strong and submissive should be our mission without being confused by men and that is the type of feminism we should live by.

I am in grief, and not only for me.
I thought I had of all, the love and money
All those things to spare but instead everyone turned their back on me.
I know loss like never before.
Its like have a house that has been washed away by the shore.

I never loved them first.

I couldn't get it when they never understood.
Was the problem really me or was it just on mind
I couldn't see  what they believed ,
That I only was a waste of time.

I never loved them at all.

And so now as I continue to hurt so much inside,
I don't bother waste time on tears as ,why cry?
I have however learned he art of keeping it all inside
And I will continue to be like this.

I will never ever love them.

Dear Paul Walker, this is for you,
A tribute to your memory....

I wished I could have met you.
To have known someone so wonderful, so full of grace
You were an angel which graces us,
Made us want to be like you.
The world need more persons like you,
With attributes of kindness and love.
So we thank God above, for letting us enjoy you while we could. We will forever miss you but you are where you should ,among the other angels of Heaven.

I had a friend who wasy everything.
We laughed, played and shared secrets together.
She was my glue that stick the damaged me back together
I was hee iron to press out her crushed state.
Life is unfair, I learned from early.
She  left in an instant, ****!*.
Death took her away. And if it wasn't enough that she couldn't ever be replaced, my hardships stared at me right in the face.

Death, why hast thou been so cruel, why have you been so    
mean, wipe the slate of her and come and be with.
I need you, I said before she went.    
She hugged me and said' Make the best of your life and I'll behappy.
FFunnily, I didn't know what she meant until she left me.  Tire and spent!

I never really understood girls with problems.
I used to think that the world was fun.
Now I am one of those girls who is broken.
Nowhwe to go and no one to hold.
I try to let people in, to let them see why I am broken
But their human minds are to small to comprehend,
   This level of pain and how to not feel.
I do know that those days are over,
I have become too numb to let it be
But every time I look in the mirror and see
I only understand outer space and me...

Whack! Went the whop over my back.
She wouldn't stop.....
She never stopped.
That what made me created my place,
A big white room , full of grace.
I go there  often, now more than ever.
Usually , I'm there before she begins the torture
Always, I have never done anything wrong.
But what she sees in me is the constant love for my Father,
A love that never came from me to her
But how does one expect love, when only hatred is given out?
I loved him before I grew and that was really when she knew
That I would never ever love her and so she began the torture.
But that's where my big white room comes in,
Its never down, unhappy for thin
Within a land of mystical creatures, I find joy and non believers. I skip around in the meadow all day, singing of songs that make me happy.
I varied for too long before this white room,
Now its all I think about
So as the days pass by, I sit in my white room one last time.
I have never been known to such a place
That I believed was the beginning of late,
My solace, my haven never to be lost
I can't forget the scars that I was glossed.....

.......

...................
......

Have you ever known what it is to be truly free?
There has been no love and nobody.
I sat alone on the cold cold street,
Crying and mesmerizing of what had happened to me.
My father had gone up in  rage when he had seen my grade.
He could not believe his little girl so so bright ,
Would let the world come and out her light.
The distance between us has never been so bad
and I cried some more for he was all I ever had.
Nostalgia was my only friend
as I reminisced straight to the end.
But when and Why and I can never understand
I had this to down to the very last end.
I am blue and its nothing new.
Touch my soul,Ill not be here soon

Back then when the skies were blue
And  people were warmer and friendlier.
Love was true and I  was sweet.
I was sweet sweet summer and some ****** heat.
I remember the 90s and how life was great
everything then seemed a piece of cake.

But the world grew colder and more more cold,
This was a story that should've never been told

Luna (Latine Lunae) est terrae sola naturalis satellite. [E] [F] [VIII] licet non amet naturalis satellitis in Systemate Solare est, inter satellites maioribus signis maxima quod ad magnitudinem orbes obiecti (primarium) [g] [a] et post Io satellite Jovis, qui est secundus densa inter densitates satellite cognoscuntur.

Luna est in vna *** orbem terrarum, et semper, et faciens facies, *** cis insignis, quae per tenebras inter maria volcanus editis clarus, et veteri crusta impactus crateres prominent. Est enim post solem in coelo et immutari. Quanquam autem id candidissimam, obscurus etiam superficie *** bitumen reflectance fessis tantum leviter superior. Huius temporibus perquam cyclus regularem habere in coelo, quia antiquitus in luna lingua maximus culturae opes, fastos artis fabularis. Producit vim gravitatis luna dies et tempora et levi freta. Nunc de orbita lunae distantia diameter vicibus terra in caelum facit ut fere idem sit qui apparet Solis. Nempe per id fere totum solem lunam eclipsin solis tegere. Hoc simile est de magnitudine visuali fortuitum apparens. Lunaris a terra distantiae lineae sit amet, crescens ad rate of 3,82 ± 0,07 mm per annum, id est, non tamen semper. [IX]

While it is I was hurt and bruised
I will never ever say this again to you.
My Heart bled enough times for me to know
The reason why I couldn't cry and I though that
This was over when I saw those signs
The ones you showed her
which were once mine, But never mind I say to you
Drop dead as I am over you.The constant smell of you still makes
me smile,But no longer do I waste my time. You see there was something I did learn from you,Nothing I hear from men are never true
So I bled my heart dry from you and no I don't cry for cheaters like you.
I am happy on white sand and beaches too, Have her, youre my garbage lou.
Lou thy heart,It was once and You will never break it apart.

Separation as Droplets fall
Ripples come to take my all
Love is Blind
Roses Fall
I need this Love and I need it all

Hiding,Riding..Reckless Subliming
    Over Hill,Mountains and Seas
     Its at Arizona,that I'll reach...Far away from you
    Where its my safety I refresh anew
     There will be no more abuse
   I did,I did, Really Love You....