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 Feb 2014 Eliza Jane
 Feb 2014 Eliza Jane
She quietly sits,
Evaluating the words she
Let escape her lips.
Fighting with the anger,
Igniting her naked
Soul; being her only danger.
Her words are so devastating
 Jan 2014 Eliza Jane
Feeling Tiny
 Jan 2014 Eliza Jane
Sometimes I feel extra tiny
Like when he holds me tight
I love him more than jasmine tea
My sky is brighter than bright
He's deeper than the vast blue sea
And a rather pleasant sight
He's my pillar and makes me happy
And washes clear all my fright
 Jan 2014 Eliza Jane
The constant mental banter
    Back and forth yes or no
        Do I disappoint my love
            For a moment of instant gratification?

            Do I throw away recovery
        Three solid months
    Itchy skin and hateful thoughts
For a moment of instant gratification?

                                                               ­                                                         And I'm so full of regret
                                                                ­                                                     Because it wasn't worth it
                                                              ­                                                       And I hurt my best friend
                                                          ­                                         For a moment of instant gratification

          A moment of instant gratification
          That wasn't even gratifying
          Wasn't in the slightest, satisfying
          Harboring a moment of regret
          For something he won't forget
          But I tried in vain to justify
          The actions I couldn't dignify
          Words that trickled like thorns
          Oh how I wish I waited a minute more
          And not let their whispers win
          Screams rather, as they crawl in
          They soothed their shrieks
          And gently brushed my cheeks
          And convinced me it didn't count
          If it didn't bleed on my account  
          But he held my close and said it did
          I can't swallow it, but it's true, I backslid
          "But it didn't leave any marks to show"
          My mind screams and my heart does echo
          "I didn't bleed in the slightest my dear"
          Disappointing him is a biggest fear
          As immaturity grasps at my soul
          I have to accept my repercussions in whole
          Three months down the drain
          And causing my best friend pain
          Not a scar to show for what I've done
          But away from me, he'll never run..
Wrote the first two stanzas in late November.. The rest is from this morning..
But if I'm being honest that last chunk is really cool and written well in my opinion.

I'm so sorry love.. I'm sorry my sky..
 Nov 2013 Eliza Jane
 Nov 2013 Eliza Jane
Tear stains through these empty halls
Fists have broken these crumbling walls
A place made for help and education
Violently became a place of hurtful rejection
 Nov 2013 Eliza Jane
 Nov 2013 Eliza Jane
"Just friends"
I whisper as our lips touched
"Nothing more"
I told myself as you held my hand
"I miss you"
I spoke as you drove away
"I love you"
I cried as you found another girl
I wrote this August 12.
I was definitely scared of losing this one.
 Nov 2013 Eliza Jane
 Nov 2013 Eliza Jane
All my life
there have been guys
this one, that one
this and that
But this time..
With this guy..
I had to take a step back.
My whirlwind was calmed,
And everything was right.
I looked in his eyes
Such beauty and love..
And suddenly he was the only one in sight.
November 12 2013.
Don't know why I didn't post this back then.
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