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Jan 2014 · 856
Not my fault
Eliza Jan 2014
It's not my fault
that sleep doesn't come to me easily,
that the thoughts in my mind will not leave me,
that it takes two hours before I drift off completely
(sometimes even three).

It's not my fault
that my hands and legs would not stop fidgeting,
that I find the littlest things very distracting,
(like how the clock never stops ticking)
that I like to keep repeating.

It's not my fault
that sometimes I can't breathe,
that I'm not the person who you would want to be with,
that sometimes I don't want to live.

It's not my fault that I have a condition.
Or maybe it is.

*(n.d.)
Jan 2014 · 913
Young
Eliza Jan 2014
"Sometimes
being young
is less fun than
being dead."

*- Pump Up The Vol.
Oct 2013 · 1.4k
Sad
Eliza Oct 2013
Sad
Yesterday, I was sad.
Today, I am sad.
Tomorrow, I'll be sad again.
And that's really kind of sad,
dont you think?

*(n.d.)
I'm tired of always feeling this way. It's always a constant battle between convincing myself that I can survive and convincing myself that I can't. I don't want to burden people with my sickness and all I can say is that I'm sorry for everything.
Oct 2013 · 1.2k
7:26am
Eliza Oct 2013
7:26am
is where it all began.
Angry words were being thrown
back and forth between a woman
and a man.

A little girl woke up from her dream,
as she heard her name in between those screams.
Tears spilled from her eyes as she began to cry,
asking questions that mostly began with why.

7:26am
a tale of two lovers comes to an end,
leaving a girl with a broken heart
that cannot be mend.

*(n.d.)
Oct 2013 · 1.2k
Goodbye
Eliza Oct 2013
I'm sorry,
but I haven't been coping well lately.
I hope you'll forgive me,
and be able to save me.

So many thoughts on my mind,
and all of them screams "I'm not fine.".
I hope you might be kind,
and won't let me cross that line.

I have set a date,
on the day I graduate,
to end my fate.
So don't be late.

I've thought this through,
there's nothing that you can do.
I don't belong here, it's true.
This shall be my goodbye to you.

*(n.d.)
Sep 2013 · 4.3k
Decisions
Eliza Sep 2013
Don't make decisions
when your eyes
are as heavy
as your heart.

*(n.d.)
Sep 2013 · 831
(10w)
Eliza Sep 2013
I want to love
and I want to be loved.

*(n.d.)
Sep 2013 · 1.1k
Fiction
Eliza Sep 2013
It's amazing
how much of a comfort you can find
with fictional characters and their worlds.

Whether it's fantasy, sci-fi or thriller,
whether their world is full of dangers and adventures,
you would rather be in theirs than be in yours.

I realised how much of a sadness our world has become
because we rely in non-existing worlds
in order to survive our own.

*(n.d.)
Not my very best, tho.
Sep 2013 · 1.1k
Bleed
Eliza Sep 2013
I've made myself bleed.
The thought of doing it never occurred to me.
But I was curious.
I wanted to know what it was like to slice open your skin.
To play with knives and blades.
To have blood dripping.
And now that I've done it,
I promised to never do it again.
But the thought of doing it is addicting.
I like the pain.
I like the endorphins released.
I like the feel of it.
I like how it takes away my pain for a moment.
I might do it again.
I might never stop.
Here's to hoping I will be saved.

*(n.d.)
Sep 2013 · 1.0k
Feelings
Eliza Sep 2013
I'm not good
at expressing my feelings.
I'm doing the best I can,
and it's hard for me.
Life seems to be easy with you guys,
and here I am feeling like my mind is going to blow up any time soon.
I wish I had a simple reason
for why I'm feeling and being like this.
Please hold on to me,
I'll open up soon.

*(n.d.)
Aug 2013 · 1.1k
Company
Eliza Aug 2013
My pillows soaked up my tears,
from the times I was afraid of my fears.

My blanket shield me,
from the demons that could be.

My bed became a friend,
after a long day comes to an end.

They were my only company,
when I'm lonely and needed somebody.

*(n.d.)
Aug 2013 · 1.2k
Best friend
Eliza Aug 2013
As a best friend,
I'd thought you'd understand.
That I'm not good with feelings,
and a lot of other things.

However you went ahead,
and surprised me instead.
You left me standing there,
made me thing you didn't care.

I am not the type,
to judge this tripe.
I'd like to think that this isn't real,
for I may not know how you feel.

There are signs everywhere,
which I happen to be completely aware.
You found someone new,
and left me feeling extremely blue.

I think I'm no longer,
your best friend forever.
And so in reply,
I'd like to wish you goodbye.

Goodbye, good friend,
I guess this is the end.
Our days are over,
it's time we get wiser.

*(n.d.)
Aug 2013 · 1.2k
Suffocated
Eliza Aug 2013
Suffocated.
That's what I am.
I am suffocated.

So many people
and my hands and legs
won't stop shaking.
I can't breathe
but I can't run.

Is this what it feels like?
To be so scared and afraid?
All you want to do is stay at home
forever and ever and ever...

No friends, no one.
Only me, only me...

I think I like it,
the suffocation and darkness
and this loneliness.
What's gonna happen to me?

I think I'm going crazy,
and that's absolutely fine with me.

*(n.d.)
Aug 2013 · 1.2k
Tears
Eliza Aug 2013
Just let the tears
fall free from my eyes.

I'm starting to get tired
of silent cries.

I'm getting sick
of telling lies.

Let the tears fall free from my eyes.

*(n.d.)

— The End —