At some point                                                            ­                             I miss him.
along the line                                                             ­                      I haven't slept.
my thoughts changed.                               I can't remember how to be happy.
As nothing progressed                                        I can't escape from my head.
and I began                                        My nights belong to the nightmares.
to feel at home here                                                           I haven't slept.
the stillness                                                        ­                                   I miss him.
trickled into my head.                                                                        He's dead.
It's such a little change                                       I can't stop looking for him.
but now                                               I don't know how to deal with this.
the landscape is colored                                 I don't enjoy being alive.
with unfulfilled waiting,                                                                         He's dead.
unmet expectations                                                                          I'm not dead.
excuses.                                                                                        I still miss him.
The sharp brightness                                                         I still haven't slept.
of the initial pain                         I still can't remember how to be happy.
(and I had never felt so alive)          I still can't escape from my head.
fades to dull colors.      My nights still belong to the nightmares.
My eyes don't burn                                   I still haven't slept.
anymore.                                                 ­  I still miss him.
Maybe I don't have to run.                He's still dead.
I can just embrace this;          I still can't stop looking for him.
this stillness          I still don't know how to deal with this.
stop expecting             I still don't enjoy being alive.
stop waiting.                           He's still dead.
And in that case...I'm still not dead.
                  *Why not?

When the nightmares come to play
When they still remain by day
Stumble, fall
Now you're small

When the voices fill your head
When you're paralyzed by dread
Find a friend
Make pretend

When you can't escape the ghosts
When your loved ones haunt you most
Fading breath
Wish for death

When the rage inside you burns
When the hurricane returns
Disbelieve
Time to leave

My eyes
may burn.
My lips
may tremble.
My breath
may catch.
My hands
may clench.
My voice
may break.
My shoulders
may heave.

But not one tear
will escape
between my lashes
no matter how
I crave the obliteration
of a flood.