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my greatest fear
is that i will forever be the friend
left behind,
the one uninvited
with friends, but always alone

i'm scared to let people in
not because of the damage you'll do,
but the damage you'll find

what happens if i never become
someone's "someone?"
will i just be no one?

i'm scared that you will see past my lying smile,
and realize that the little girl
waltzing on broken glass
is all i will ever be

my greatest fear is that
you see me the way i
see myself
i pull the silver brush
against the pale peach
the red drips
through the canvas
i relapsed today
I wake up crying
Dying inside
Tell my parents that i'm ok
But i'm really not
And I hate it when they push further
Because they know that I am lying
But I need them to push me to keep me alive
And I hate the pain of the knife against my skin
But I love the punishment for my sins
I don't think that I can do this anymore
*It hurts too much to try
;
maybe if i get bad enough
you'll see why i hurt
maybe you'll notice the bruises
maybe you'll notice the scars
if i destroy my life enough
will you finally understand
i
need
help
?
will you help me when i'm more scar than skin
or will you leave like the others
disgusted by me
little poem
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