Can I do this?
No really, I ask myself
I ask myself what it would like to be unbroken
Strong and independent
Fully able to fend for myself and take on what life has left for me to tackle
Can I do this?
Wake up every morning with no pain
No soreness in my mind or body
Not one drop of disparity
Can I do this?
Love myself so passionately that words will no longer be able to get through
Because my skin would be so thickened, so dense that not even the most hurtful words could leave me lifeless
Fully able to look at my own reflection and only feeling pure love and self acceptance
Not one drop of insecurity
Can I do this, I’m asking you
Can I feel like I’m enough
For others
Or for me?
Can I feel worthy enough to walk this earth and feel no shame
Can I walk by the most beautiful woman on earth
And not feel embarrassed
Can I walk by the smartest person currently alive
And not feel uneducated or simply just stupid
Can I live with myself
Can I live with my ******* up mind, my terrible temper, my raging insecurity and my constant self loathing heart
I can’t, im telling you now
And who could
Because there is not one person I know on this planet who could live being with myself
Because I know who I am
And I’m not who I wish to be, nor who I wish to live with
Because if I lived with myself
I would **** her
Just like I’m killing me
12/04/2020