after a night spent tossing
& turning,
sleeplessly overheating
& burning
i wake now to you
seeping through the open window

enveloping my body
caressing my skin

implanting the dire
hunger within

it all feels so out of place
but you-
this electrifying cold-
have found home with
me here, in
the room of the misfit,
as he once more strains
to open his eyes and
absorb the external

don't leave me, there's
no reason we ever have
to leave this bed again

our story is written
in the stars
clearly and beautifully

there's no reason to
leave this bed again

include:

drinking
smoking
& self-loathing

nighttime still embraces me
while I wipe the thinking
from my eyes
& it is not what I want
it's not the arms of the one I long for

Nor is it the feeling found in
the pit of my stomach that I
once had lost for so long-
slight naïveté, mostly hopeful
but extremely unfamiliar

if this isn't nausea it must
be unrelenting infatuation

my bones shutter while I walk
and my head is ringing

you were with me last night
more than you know,
the hand that guided bottle to
my mouth I could feel you
there, I drank with you draped about me

but the more I drank, the more
wise I became
it was not you at all
but the propagation
of fears and feelings you induce

I swear your scent was in the air, though

I still drink for you, dear
it's a sweet poison and it brings
me closer to you

this morning is gloomy in
the wake of wanting you more&more