She's a bit smart and a little in pain,
so she takes her pills at dawn when everyone is dreaming
- while hers translate into crosses on her wrists for the loves she has lost,
and straight lines on her thighs as tally marks for each joy unaccomplished.

She's a bit ugly and a lot of beauty,
so she stares at the nothingness that she is
before any clothes, before any thing
- but how can that be, to be less of a person when nobody even said she was one before?

She's a bit honest and a whole lot of truth,
so she speaks censoring every softness that is of her heart,
but launching every thorn that ever struck her inner flesh
- it's for security, she says, and self defense...of course.

The Great Queen isn't everything that you see.

It's a bit past midnight -
So light under these fluorescents, but so dark in my mind.

On a couch in college, I am reeking of ****** deeds earlier, -
and of avoidance too.
Eyes drooping to a standard hibernation position, I try to sit up to let my hands finish these questions on the latest Middle Eastern borders.
Yet, still there is left a dent in my heart for all the **** that happened in the past week.

A sociopath with morals.
A ******* wanting to reconnect.
A friend with overbearing qualities.
A mother dying to love me.
An idea with no promise.
A bucket of philosophy.

I hope I'm not the only one coming up with ideas of how to escape.

All I hear is deathly silence.
You look away from me,
And I am invisible.

Note to Self:
Darling please,
Forget everything
Play yourself a new song
Set your sights on the future
Let go
Forgive yourself
Remember to love
and love
and love
l
o
v
e
it will get you through
I promise

choices, we are bound by some
we are enlightened by others
some we make
some are made for us

we are all victims and champions
we are all empowered and enslaved

driven, but fearful
of a hope of something larger than all of us
of the dream of bliss

elusive, but available
just out of reach
just out of sight

I awake from my slumber
And realize it’s that time again
A slight grin starts to form
As I make my way to the mirror
Slowly removing my clothes,
I pause
My grin is fading
Today is no better than yesterday
And tomorrow holds no promises
As more skin is revealed
More voices begin to shout
A sea of self doubts
Filled with salt that only
Increases the burn
A sea that lacks the vibrant fish
That once represented confidence
A sea that never stops flooding my thoughts
My every move
My every bite
I am submerged

Your sweet breath tickles my spine,
Calling out for the goosebumps.
But there’s a beautiful contrast
When your warm hands comfort them.
And even when we’re laying together,
And we’re still too far apart,
I can align my ears with your chest
To pick up the lovely rhythm of your heartbeat.
And since you always know what to do,
Next you’ll move my hair just enough
To plant a sweet, sweet kiss
Right on my forehead.
*I’m home.