I finally saw you again after 34 days
and
in between those 34 days
I strongly believed I was over you
but then I saw you
                 I remembered
how all your imperfect flaws made me fall for you                        
                 I remembered
how you made my stomach fill with
little
      colorful
           meaningful
                    butterflies
                  I remembered
how your words made my heart melt like wax
and then
                  I remembered
that I'm not actually over you

j.f

Blank sheet.
Blank slate.
Still sitting in the same seat;
The same state I've been
in a funk.
Wanting a change to begin. I'm sick
of this junk.
Real change comes from within, but
I only feel pain under my skin.

Hard to complain 'cause it is my sin
that made things this way.
This is today.
What will tomorrow say?

First thing we do is build it up.
The second thing we do is
break it down.

Open up; let me in.
Let me in like
the Sun.
Like your son.

On top
Alone.
Like we were the dead.
Run to the next place where
you can't  find yourself.

When the lights come
we can tell me to slow it down.
But I feel as if they are telling me to keep going.
After some sign it's all I can see.
All I can feel.
All I can be.

It's coming over me.
And I can't see the other side of this building's ending.
Like this **** was never ending.

Oh, can you hear my cry?

Can you hear my cry, lowly?
Below the lullaby?

I can't wait to see you when I come home.
You'll be there
waiting at the footsteps of your door.
I hope.

THEN.
The end of Mankind.

2012 left to blow your mind.

Six
Seven
Eight
Nine

Ten men
all journeyed together.
Ended up dead.

And they sold our own young.
As if we offered our own blood.

the universe hates me because
it forces me to eat stale bread
and leftover feelings.

few and far
undetected from the radar
as it sweeps and bleeps
but out of sight is out of mind,
disconnected
out of place,
wires crossed
intent misplaced the elusive days
insanity takes,
eluding all for falsity's sake
to make some sense
in a senseless state.

When I found the door
I found the vine leaves
speaking among themselves in abundant
whispers.
My presence made them
hush their green breath,
embarrassed, the way
humans stand up, buttoning their jackets,
acting as if they were leaving anyway, as if
the conversation had ended
just before you arrived.
I liked
the glimpse I had, though,
of their obscure
gestures. I liked the sound
of such private voices. Next time
I'll move like cautious sunlight, open
the door by fractions, eavesdrop
peacefully.