how are you the one that gets to be happy?
the one that made me feel unlovable for my weaknesses?
how is that fair.

"I am tired" is such an optimistic way of describing the state in which we really are.
"I am done for, narcoleptic, internally shattered, and terminally discarded." is the closest way of painting the pain on a canvas of meaningless words.
But there really is no way of expressing the true feeling. Of being simply tired.

after a while the caffeine grows weaker, the cold splash of water grows warmer, and the sunlight grows darker.
things change for the worse all the time.
and one day I realized that I was no exception.

I wish I could shut all feelings and emotions down with a lever.
I say that I have.
But I also say i'm happy.
I guess we all tell little lies, don't we?

do I care?
yes.
do I want to?
no.

I stare at my tired reflection in the mirror.
It being broken. Shattered if you will.
Belonging to no one.

I smile.
I flash that charming grin. Trying to convince myself i'm okay.

But then, my face falls.
Tears overlapping my eyes.
Making them look like those of an untouched doll.

The power. Oh the power you have on me right now.
You don't even know.