You don't care for me,
and that's okay,
because if I were you,
I wouldn't stay.

oh to sit on an apartment balcony,
with my body folded into yours,
as you untangle my knots
and smooth your skin,
the world beneath us
untimely busy
while life for us seems to stop,
our hearts beating simultaneously,
your love all mine,
the city that we live in
my new found house,
but you my darling the home
in which I will for ever grow,
and you my precious baby
promise to never go.

It must feel so wonderful for your lover to forever dedicate their life to you,
for their hands you've known for so long to wear a ring that binds you both,
the happiness that exudes from their smile when they make you theirs for eternity,
to belong to the person who makes you swoon at the very sight,
the person who's voice you can distinguish in the largest of crowds,
the body that fits so rightfully with yours,
for you lover to own your heart and want to keep you
as long as you both live in harmony must be the most valuable, sensual feeling to ever engulf one's body.

Isn't it insane
how I give up what I love
because I know it will better you
even if it makes me worse,
it's completely absurd
that I will drive myself away
just so you will stay
how crazy is it
that I love you
even more than I love myself.

do you mind if I hide
forever more,
for I am not wanted here
and I never really was,
my body repels me
and so do you,
so goodbye my love
because truly
I
am
through. . .

I shall never be the best in anything I do,
because for every poem I write there's always Duffy,
every equation I complete, Einstein always knew.
Every maths question successful had Pythag around before,
for my paintings there was always Monet,
or Da Vinci perhaps.
for every ball I sway against, Murray has already touched.
You see for me,
I will never exceed,
I will just be a possibly,
a hope,
a could have been.

If I left because of her
I know you would be ******,
So hold onto me as tight as you can
Because I am so done with this.

hold my jaw I beg of you,
despair when I'm not there,
find my scent lingering in
every room I've vacated,
escaped hairs attached to your clothes,
and smudges on your pillow case.
long for my touch,
and the tangle of my mane
when I have fled to return home
scrawl me letters that don't make sense
but scar so deep,
plead for me to not go
and hide the lump in your throat
think of me everywhere
in all your empty space
I shall linger and drift
awaiting your consistent warmth
that exudes from within.

Under every illuminated sky
I will wish for you,
although the stars are dying
I shall pray that we forever live.

I know you're busy
and time isn't on your side
but I do wonder
I often wonder why,
why you can't just dial my number,
or send a rushed message as you dress,
how I'm always the one who gives a larger portion
of my heart.