I don't want to go to bed,
because bed leads to helpless thoughts,
and thoughts lead to panic,
and this encourages hate,
and with the hate takes my personality,
and happy I no longer am,
because all of my flaws are more visible,
appearance leads to self hate,
self hate links up to you,
and if you saw me how I am truly,
this world and mask I have built,
will slowly,
tumble,
d
   o
     w
        n

Do you ever look in the mirror and hope to see what you're not,
for all of your worries and frown lines to have been banished from your face,
the hurt from your sunken eyes to have gone whilst you slept,
the knots in your hair to have unraveled themselves,
for your knuckles to no longer ache,
and for you to have more strength,
for your shoulders to become less tense,
your body to be light,
to drift amoungst others,
who envy your ease in this world.

You told me you didn't like make up so I wore minimal,
you said you loved laid back clothing,
so my style was changed,
you told me that you preferred curled hair,
so I refused to straighten,
you said you wanted someone who was open and honest,
so that I became,
none of the changes seemed to matter,
because it wasn't really me that you wanted,
and in the process you were being pulled out,
and I was sinking deeper in.

not just ink and needle,
it's memories and pain,
hopes and dreams,
names and beauty.

art across a body,
canvas showing your story,
messages in korean,
no one has to know.

delicate birdcage on one thigh,
or a anchor next to an eye,
they can have meaning,
or none at all.

impulse descisions,
or contemplations,
all of them perfectly fine.

I'm going to the city tomorrow,
where I will wander,
and dream,
and long for things to come,
eat bread I wouldn't otherwise eat,
feel the warmth of the glow on my face,
strolling carelessly,
a child once more at Disney,
nervous again as I add unfamiliar currency,
lost, but the nice kind,
talking to people in all the right ways,
falling more in love,
and hoping more than I ever have.

emotions are as if a current,
far out to shore,
sometimes they can't be seen,
by the eye alone,
or the best telescope on earth,
but sadness is lurking,
in the reefs of the ocean,
and suddenly,
the moon sweeps them in,
from safety to drenched in no time at all,
bone dry to stood shaking,
moments it can take to change,
from content,
to lost.

Most of us never appreciate,
how lovely the things in life can be.

When the sun goes for a while,
and then it greets the sea.

for example, the comforting smile,
after a million tears have been shed.

another is the way,
a loyal pet awaits you for bed.

the list could continue,
and it could overflow with emotion,
but for a moment this time is just for you,
to reflect on each good decision.

everything you have done right,
as well as the beautiful moments,
that often slip completely out of sight.