Sitting in the dark and analyzing all the life I’ve lived up until now. And I will take all the broken pieces of myself and reform them into the person I am. All the shards that are my heartbreaks and sorrows, dreams and ambitions. Because after all what am I, but the sum of my experiences? And all the pieces of me are shaped differently with rounded surfaces and jagged edges. But the pieces of my old self will still fit and fuse into the core of my new self because I have grown and developed and shifted and adapted, but I am still me. The old me and the new me, like different shades of blue, overlap and blend into one another creating a contrast that is easy to see, but is still entirely blue. Here my past and my present will speculate on my future. Here I will continue breaking me down and building me up, harboring at the nexus of my being every little dream and sentiment that gives life to my soul.

so i will spell it out for you in words and phrases and half-finished sentences.
and when you refuse to listen i will paint it out with acrylics and oils and pens.
and when you refuse to see i will press all my words and phrases and colors and inks into your skin so that you can feel. so that you can feel what i feel. so that you can know that i love you.
but don’t be confused because i don’t love you that way.
i don’t love you the way they love the movies.
or the way your sister loves herself.
or the way my mother loves the person my father used to be.
or the way you loved your ex-girlfriend.
i love you the way the fish love the sea. the way the birds love the air. the way the trees love the earth. i love you like home.
i love you like you never hurt me.
i love you like you never made those mistakes.
i love you like i will give everything i am to make you happy.
i love you like it won’t matter if you never notice. i love you like that.

and when I turn around to look, there you stand.
a bright spot on my memories.


we’ve been alive for decades but it seems we haven’t aged.


maybe when we’re older we’ll see the world with different eyes,
but for now we have only opportunities and there’s always second chances.


they say we don’t know heartache.
what they don’t know is how many times we’ve proven them wrong.


the difference is we know we’ve got life left to live,
and everything to prove.


so a toast to all the nonsense and mischief.
to all the loving and learning.
to all the living we’ve done and have yet to do.


to all the heartbreak and sadness, Pura Vida.
to all the people who scoffed, Pura Vida.
to all the people who thought they could break us, Pura Vida.
to all those shining memories we own, Pura Vida.
to all those moments of realizing just how much we love, Pura Vida.

To Us,
Pura Vida.