How do you do it?
Just put yourself in that position?
Over and over again?
And still come up with excuse after excuse to justify your actions
Or should I say, his actions?
It amazes me how many footprints you have across your face.
And yet you lay down, and just let him keep walking.
And you tell me how things are different,
Every other week or so...
It's not good enough.
And you know it.
I just wish there was something more I could do.
Something more I could say.
I just wish I could help.
Because I sit here and it eats at me.
I can never say enough.
And I know it's not my place.
I know it's your life.
But at the same time, you come to me for a reason.
I will support you through everything.
You know that.
I've proven that.
But I really need a guide book now
Because there is nothing I can say that will make this right.
You're falling apart.
And as I try to help you pick yourself back up,
You turn around and go back to the same old pattern.
And I just bow my head and follow you
Hoping that one day, you'll keep walking.
I'll never give up.
I don't want you to worry about that.
I'll always be here.
But don't get mad at me for being honest.
This isn't right.
And you tell me that it's not every time we talk.
And yet, you're stuck.
Lost in love?
I guess I can try to understand that,
But then again, I'm cynical
And hardly the person to give advice on that subject.
I just wish that,
For once,
You words and your actions matched.
And if it was really meant to be,
That boy would fall in step
And be the person you know he can be
Instead of being the person he is getting away with being.
He knows that he has you trapped.
Wrapped around his pinkie.
(And honey, that should be the other way around.)
He's just basking in it,
He has won.
And with all your sacrifices
And all you've done
It will never be enough.
Because tomorrow will come,
And you'll see again
That you have more groveling to do.
And more **** to take.
And lose more and more of your pride,
Self-respect,
And independence
As each second passes.
But I'm here for you.
And I'll tell you everyday,
You are amazing.
And beautiful.
And one day,
You'll have everything you deserve.

He blew a kiss.
A filthy, nasty,
leaves your skin crawling,
kiss.
In his hand,
was his wife's hand.
I quickly made my way down the street.
But my mind stuck to that moment,
as if it was a child's chewed up piece of gum.
Left alone at the side of the curb,
like a washed up actress from the 90's,
who just sort of lost her flavor.
I loathed the moment that had just occurred.
I know I am a woman,
and that I have a larger than average-sized chest,
and maybe even a decent face.
But treat me with respect.
Or at least make sure your own woman isn't watching you,
violate my existence.
Please just make the filth that runs through your veins,
a little less noticeable.
Think about me later while you're ******* her.
But don't acknowledge me in the street,
if anything but a small smile,
is what you have to offer.
Because I will not accept your ***** kiss.
And no,
I will not climb into your bed.
Just because the pieces fit,
doesn't mean I wanted the puzzle in the first place.
Because I know,
as that woman with a larger than average-sized chest,
and maybe even a decent face,
I deserve better than **** off the streets.
I deserve respect.
So keep your kiss,
for a ***** with no self-respect.

darling, do you find me clingy?
you are the first who has stayed for longer then a
week.
you are the first who has spoken to me with truth,
instead of lies intertwined with alcohol and
lust.
so excuse the bite marks, the extensive sighs.
you are the first who has wanted my words,
not the stains within my legs,
or the dampness of my lips.
so excuse my nails that constantly scratch,
excuse the quiver my voice has when you
leave.
you are the first that has said,
“i love you”
and i have actually believed.
you are the first that has said,
“i will stay”
and actually have.

Is a happy accident predictable?
Could I prophecy that red is romance
And that we'll meet in the Tunnel-of-Love
That is part of London's skeleton?
Will the Central Line tie us up,
When happiness is accidental,
Like a red ribbon following 'destiny'?
Am I able to sit on full buses
Without a new fated friend sitting
On that one empty seat?
Dearest Who-Knows-Who
Will I trip and drown you in tea
And stain your ears with words;
Will it be the start of a beautiful
Work-but-never-social relationship?
Can I foresee the strike of chance that
Has two hands reaching for the same
Bottle of milk only to then be locked
Into a battle of politeness with my
Defeat being an exchange of dairy for
Kind ears? Or is our shared liquid desire
Made by a patient and the soon to be
Doctor in, say, seven accidents time?
Perhaps a publisher engages in this war
Of intrinsic social conduct, perhaps my poetry
Is destined for pages because of this bottle,
Perhaps I become a helping hand.
Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

Not all of this is an exercise in futility;
I look out from my window and see a city
Filled with cracked pavements or missed trains
Or shared taxis or dropped books or...or....
Or, perhaps, that ever so unpredictable,
Wonderful, accidental serendipity.

some make up to see who you gotta be,.
others off in sight to say what they "thinks" right,
make you have a choice.,
won't let you speak you're voice,
make you out be tall.
take them out and ball,
whooty foo,
grubbin dubbin,
I'm just thinkin around,.
cause it's hella loud my minds in some cloud
to my out side sound.,

it's 11:45 pm
and you're sitting on your bed
your newly cut hair pulled back
and your first experience with fringe
occasionally dancing over your eyelids
the sounds of a tv and your mother teaching herself the clarinet
make it hard to concentrate
on the thoughts in your head
but your inner organs tell you all you need to know
your stomach flutters with a thousand monarchs
your heart soars
and your knees are weak
and you're not sure how you're going to recover
but that's okay
because maybe you don't want to