Pushing through feelings of sadness
like giving up

it's a hard life out there
but no one tells you
when you're hidden away
in a system where learning is at value
but not learning about the real world
just learning how to memorize
just memorizing facts
so many facts
that your brain wants to explode

go to work
put on my mask
leave work take off my mask
or was there a mask at all?

can't remember what my first mask was
don't have time to categorize all of them

masks floating around
floating all around inside my head
until I can't choose just one
it's just an amalgamation of all of them
floating around inside my head

Bittersweet love
like roses
on your wooden fence
thorns that *****
my fingers

Two bodies
make love
like roses
sweet, divine, intense

A fragrance
that never leaves
its permeation
fills the air
the sunken stems
dancing in their last droplets

Vast openings
her voice glistening
inside a narrow glass
of my deepest entanglements
and her wildest dreams

Bittersweet love
like roses
never escaping me

I'm all alone
I'm alone
I'm lonely

So many people
so many crowds
no one to talk to
beneath these trees

We're all alone
we're alone
we're lonely

A face, some eyes
they stare, they're surprised
no one to talk to
in these cities

A sea of nothing
no flowers, no leaves
no trees to breathe from
waves without break

Fish swimming without direction
coral lying flat on the ocean floor
water without moisture
floor with no sand

Your fishing rod falls
on the surface
no catch
disappointment drains the water
disappointment never leaves

The water has no movement
no wind to push the sailboats
a vast ocean, but no direction
lost at sea

No one ever comes
no one ever leaves
there are no signs, no paths
to an ocean that cannot breathe
the ocean of desolation

My love
will fill a room
until there's no more oxygen
to consume

it will surpass
the highest peaks
on a mountain range

it will shine through
the windows
of a tainted car

it will grow wild
in the meadow
of a farmer's land

it will climb taller
than the tallest skyscraper
in a cityscape

it will fly higher
than the largest rocket
in outer space

but only
if to be embraced
it will remain
in one place

Memories of you that never leave
stuck in my mind
like these rhymes
that i write
and these songs
that i sing

Don't leave
you left
and i can't breathe

I yell out your name
when i'm dreaming
but you're never there
when i'm awake

Can't seem to shake these
memories
Can't seem to take these
memories

Running in loops
In playback circles

Crying, sobbing
reaching out for you
but no one's there

Misery

Misery rotting inside my bones
misery knotting internally

Fully awake but no longer alive
the grief has taken me
and buried my eyes

I can't see anymore
I can't breathe
you left
and it's killing me
you're gone
I might see you in a dream
but it's not the same
because I can't touch
your face
or feel your pain
or tell you it will
be okay

It's doomed
and it's over
and i don't know how
we're staying sober

I don't know how
we continue to breathe
without each other
without our lovers

your love is beckoning me
your soul is caressing me
you're too far away
you're never here
when I awake
I call out your name
but you're not listening
it was just a dream
it was just a dream