What is this craziness
It's something I haven't seen
For over 7 years
But I remember it as if it was yesterday
Words running through my brain
Spilling out my mouth
The beat is so familiar
The characters look the same as ever
I remember them all
The familiar faces seem to soothe me
I'm not entirely sure why
Totally entranced as I once was
I watch on and on

I hear the sirens
Through my open window
Wailing louder as they drive by
And wonder if one day
They'll be coming for me

This is the game we play
Over and over, every day
We never miss a beat
We keep time with our feet
We play our music loud
We are proud

These gleaming rays are oh so kind
The golden rays we call sunshine
Maybe and maybe not
You will begin to get hot
You begin to seek for that perfect thing
That to you will bring
A perfect combo to not get red
Then the perfect idea comes to your head
You find a tree that gives some shade
And then you get the perfect glass of lemonade

Because darling
Its what I do
I push and shove
And drive them away
Then when they're gone
I simply wait
Its not long before
They come crawling back
Begging forgiveness
Like it was their fault
But you and me
We know the truth

Because of all this turmoil and fear
On my face you could always see the glisten of a tear
But ever so they were of sadness
For I saw no hope in escaping this madness
Then like a massive explosion
Something great happens that no one knows
And then you come along
I begin to sing a different song
And then my tears, no longer of sadness
Turn into tears of great gladness

The reason for all my tears at night
Is the only thing that keeps me right
Though it’s also the thing that tears me apart
And it’s going to break my heart
To say good-bye
I might just die
Though it won’t break, my heart will crack
It’ll crack more and more
Every day that I’m away
Though it won’t be broken
It’ll be bruised and beaten and cracked all over
And I’ll be the girl that just needs some one to hold her
But the no one else can hold me right
Cuz you’re the reason for my tears at night

Listen to the sound as my body hits the ground
Because of my hate now my bones break
Hear the cries as I die
See me lying there. Is it too much to bear?
My final breath and then death
My dead eyes looking at the sky
My lifeless limbs broken and dead
All life is gone from the heart that once shone
My heart beats no more
Its all your fault, how does that make you feel
You broke me down one to many times
And this time no one was there to help me up
You stole my happiness away from me
And didn’t expect me to be angry
Yeah I was angry and then depressed
And you’re too wrapped up in your own happiness
You said you cared but did you really
I guess that why you never really knew me
Yeah sure you knew me some
But did you ever try to get to know the real me
No, because you didn’t want to know the real me
Well now I’m gone and its all your fault
I guess you should’ve listened
But now that’s all the past
And my life is no more because I decided to jump
And when I hit the ground did you hear the sound
That’s the sound my heart made
Did you see my body break
Did you see me lying there broken and contorted
That’s what my heart looked like
After you ruined my life
But now my life is in utter ruins
And I am no more

The death of me
Would also be
The death of you
You're the thing that keeps me strong
When life seems all wrong
Because I know if I went
So would you
Becuase the death of me
Would also be the death of you
I love you.

The pain in my heart grows evermore, all the time
Yearning to love and be loved again
I can only hope that one day I will love again
It is the only thing left that I hope for
Everything else I fear
My heart feels like it is on fire
Not the gently warming fire of love
But the hot, raging fire of hatred and pain
I try to douse this fire with tears
But alas, the fire rages on

I'll be the moon
If you be the sun
I'll bring you down
And you'll pick me up

Maybe someday the roles will reverse
You'll be the dark
And I'll be the light
I'll be the one who stays by your side


Maybe we'll both be happy and free
And turn into stars
Shining so bright
But oh so far apart

Only time will tell
As it has before
But we made it through the dark
And turned on the light

You used to give me butterflies
  Now you give me anxiety

I used to smile just thinking about you
  Now it fills me with anger

You used to make me cry with joy
  Now they're just tears of sadness

You used to be my reason to stay strong
  Now you're the reason I relapse

I used to imagine a bright future
  Now all seems dark

You used to be the calming voice inside my head
  Now its the one that screams that loudest

You used to always make me feel better
  Now you're why I hurt so bad

You mended my heart and made me feel whole
  Now you've broken it and left me in pieces

I used to write love poems about you
  *Now the only ones I could write are of pain

To say I love you
That is simply to regular
Maybe that I adore you
But still not quite
If then I say I worship you
You are not a god to me
I could tell of my affection for you
Though the word lack strength
There are many things I could say
Of my yearning, infatuation, lust
The passion and flame I have for you
But there are not words to convey
My emotion carries more resonance
Than any sentence may say

The silence is killing me
So quiet I can hear my own heart beat
With nothing to say or nothing to do
The only thing I can think of is you
This is not unusual especially for me
Except for the part that its so quiet and lonely
No sound except of my beating heart and falling rain
My thoughts want to burst out of my brain
This silence, so peaceful yet unnerving
Maybe I am deserving
To feel like this so trapped so alone
Even in my own home
I know in second I could be free
Just put on some music that’s all it needs
But yet I cannot ruin this perfect quiet
I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried it
My thoughts slow down to a gentle murmur
Like a gently flowing river
Yet the one thing that seems to make the river flow fast
This thought from my mind I cannot cast
Because if I did I would ruin my joy and happiness
And you wonder what is this thought that could ruin my saneness
This thought is of someone that I hold near
And to me they are very dear
The only one that truly understands me
The only one that truly makes me happy
My mind settles again and though the thought is still there
It is less disruptive and takes more care
To not disturb my river of thought
And then as though I forgot
The silence returns and all I hear is my beating heart

The ticking clock runs slow
Time seems to slow with it
Heads nod as the professor teaches
Pencils slow as class runs long
It should have ended an hour ago
No one realizes that the clock has stopped
When will it be over?
No one knows, everyone cares
The professor looks up at the clock
Sighs and keeps teaching
Stuck at 2:55 the second hand twitches
Some one checks their watch its 4 o'clock
They try to let him know
He reprimands them
Finally he checks his own watch
It is also broken
He keeps teaching
And teaching
We go through a weeks worth of lessons
Its now 7 o'clock
Some one tries to leave
He shuts the door
Still he teaches
How I do now know
Eventually the lights go off
Now we can leave
We see him smirking as we walk away
He knew all along
He just wanted to see if we would stay
And we did
Just like good little sheep
Doing everything the shepherd says
Without a second thought
Maybe not next time though
Maybe he won't get away with it
But we are the sheep, we do not think
We do whatever he tells us to

“I love you” Three words so simple to type or write
But yet so hard to say when the moment is right.
I have longed to say them to you, you see
Or to have you say them to me.
But I never have the courage to say those three simple words
The words that can bring together or tear apart
Fill the cracks of a broken heart
Or shatter it into a million pieces
The words I wish that you would say to me
And only me
But if you don’t it’s OK
Because I know that you feel the same way
And our love will never stray
No matter if those words are said
Or left for dead
You don’t need to say it for me to know its true
You don’t need to tell me and I don’t need to tell you
I don’t need to hear to believe
As long as you don’t leave
I don’t want to be alone
Knowing that you could be the one
I need you here
And it is clear
That no matter what goes right or wrong
Our love is like a song
It has its ups and downs
But at the end there is no frowns
Because we know that we made it through
Even without saying the words “I love you”

Days of old are long since past
Memories are just that

The future remains unseen
A mystery that remains unknown

The present is un-enjoyed and unheeded
People dwell to much in the past and seek the future to much

I left from home so long ago
To then a place I did not know
Then that place became my home
And the I left there again so
Now I have moved two times you see
And to move again is my destiny
Back to the place where I began
To the place from where I ran
And now I run back to it
Now I know that this is it
The place I'll be, the place I'll stay
Until you come and take me away
Because our love is so strong
I know that you won't be long
And I will again be in arms safe from harm
Now we will never be apart

To my dear mother I would just like to say
Happy Father's Day
You are there for me when he is not
You given me more that I can ever repay
You give me enough love
For more than two parents
You protected me from monsters under the bed
And from boys, that you knew were bad
Sometimes I don't appreciate all that you do
You've had the job of father as well as mother
And for that I thank you
I look up to you and hope one day
To be as strong and amazing as you are
Some people may look at you and see
Just a normal person on the street
But when I look at you
I see my mom, super woman, two people in one
The one that will always be there for me
Happy Father's Day Mom
I love you

Tired of this place
I'm going insane
I don't know how much more I can take

Going for good
I know I should
If I only could

Going to start anew
Something that's long over do
Soon I will bid this all adieu

Some day I will leave this place
And go somewhere far away
When I do, I'll move out to the U.K.

Sitting here missing you, watching them
Just wanting to hold your hand
How could something so happy
Bring so much pain
Watching them in love
Thinking of you
My heart is yearning
And I am learning
To be here on my own
Not wanting to be alone
Wishing you were here
It cant be true, I wont believe it
It seems so surreal
Its already begun to crack
And I know that its just a matter of time till I come back
But all I want right now is to be with you
To hold your hand and hold you close
Though all I can do right now is dream
Of me with you and you with me
I cant bring myself to believe
I just don’t want to see
The truth from fiction
Cuz in my life there is already so much friction
Like a bad dream I wait to wake
But unlike a dream there is no awaking
To sunshine and happiness
All I see right now is the bad
It seems that is all to be had
Though I know there is some good
It seems like there is none left for me
And its all meant for her
I wish this weren’t true
I just don’t know what to do
All I want to do cry
I cant feel any good right now
Though I know its there
And its all around me
I felt it today for a moment or two
But true happiness for me lies with you

Why are you still here?
You should hate me by now
I don't know why you hold on
I don't know why I push you away
Our friendship is a rollercoaster
Up one moment
Down the next
I hold you close
Then I push you away
I sabotage my own friendships
Usually the ones that mean the most
I try and not ruin them
I try to make it right
But as a wise one once said
"Do or not do. There is no try"

Louder and louder the music pounds
Trying to drown it all out
That she doesn't care at all
I tried and she blew it off
The voices saying do it do it
Drag that blade across your skin
The pain that makes me yearn for numbness
The voice in the back of my head that still calls me your Highness

Over and over again I push the plus
The volume is already all the way up
I can still hear the demons shouting through
Telling me all things that I wish weren't true
I'm a hopeless disaster in the making
In a glass world and everything's breaking
Trying to place blame and then I see
It was really all because of me

Your gleaming pearly coat
And rainbow mane
Enchant me so

The shining horn atop your head
And eyes full of fire
Take me to places unknown

You ride the clouds
And create rainbows
You bring sunshine wherever you go

Your a magical being
You bring hope and happiness
From you peace glows

Your are an amazing creature
You shame horses and rival Pegasuses
You are a unicorn, I love you so

I find myself in this position yet again
Writing a letter I'll never send
It'll sit on my desk then in my drawer
And eventually end up in the trash

I scrawl it out in informal pencil
Because my tears would bleed the pen
And would make barely readable chicken scratch
Become smeared, smudged and completely illegible

I pour out my heart and soul to you
And then I lose my nerve
I want you to know all these things
But I wish you could without being told

So I find myself in this position again
Sealing an envelope and writing an address
Wanting you to know and losing my nerve
And writing a letter that I will never send

Crying in the stall
Door shut, no one talks
Been in here long enough
Too long almost
Come out quietly
Like nothing's wrong
Fix my make up
Put on a brave face
Tell everyone that I'm ok
A bold faced lie
No one knows
I've hit rock bottom
Crying in a washroom stall

Silent tears fall from my eyes
Tired of all the lies
I thought it was dream
It was not what it seemed
Nothing could go wrong
We even had a song
Now nothing is right
What happened to us?

What have I done
Have I poured my soul to the wrong one

Was too much given
Can all my sins be forgiven

Is there any hope left for me
I do not know what he sees

Of me there is nothing left
Of life I am bereft

There is nothing I can do
Why had it all been true

Why didn't I lie like always
It is all just a haze

I handed him a loaded gun
What have I done

Lost and alone
Can't find my way
Helpless I fell
Where were you?

On the ground
Kicked and hurt
Mocked and ridiculed
Where were you?

I needed some one to carry me
I needed some one to care
I needed some one to love me
Where were you?

Bruised and beaten
Heartless and unloved
Falling and dying
Where were you?

Alone, no one to care
Lost, no one was there
Helpless, no one to save me
Where were you?

Broken and stumbling
I fall for the last time
This time I won't get up
Where were you?

"Once upon a time"
What a cliche way to begin a story
"And they lived happily ever after"
Do they really?
Does everyone live happily ever after?
What about Cinderella's stepsisters?
Or the huntsman in Snow White?
Do they get happy endings?
No one seems to care about them
Snow White and Cinderella get the prince
What does everyone else get?
Princes and castles?
Crowns and glory?
The "villians" never get anything
Just because they are bad doesn't mean they can't be good
No one tries to redeem them
The live wickedly without knowing right
Without knowing the good they could have
They may have money, gold, and stolen treasures
But d they have happiness, love and hope?
No one shows them how to achieve goodness
So they steal it from others
The prince saved the princess
But who saves the villians?

My
mouth
is
whispering
yes


But
my
brain
screams
no

That crazy colored tribal pattern
That almost matches your purse
With the edges that are fraying
And the rubber that's separating

From the streets of downtown Oly
To the sandy shores of the beach
Down the Cherry Creek Trail
And Easton Town Center Mall

Soles worn down and coming out
White rubber now turned brown
Seams pulling out, fabric ripped
Stretched and worn to a perfect fit

CO to WA, OH to ON
All around and back again
Mountains, plains, oceans, and streets
They're always on my feet

Deep and full of wisdom
I can't help but stare into them
Rich, dark, and chocolaty brown
When I see them I cannot frown
Their beauty astounds me
When you sweep me off my feet
I look into them and my heart no longer cries
I absolutely love your beautiful eyes