It's 10:45 and there's a heavy sleep in my eyes
My eyelids shut and the world turns black
A million thoughts race through my mind
From fantasies to memories everything is there
Then everything slows and eventually stops
The skin on my body falls from my bones
And my bones turn to dust
If only for a moment I cease to exist
I think and feel nothing
I am nothing
A noise shatters me back into existence
My eyes are wide open and my mind is flooded
The world is just dark outlines of shapes
I search for the red glow of my clock
It still reads 10:45

To say I love you
That is simply to regular
Maybe that I adore you
But still not quite
If then I say I worship you
You are not a god to me
I could tell of my affection for you
Though the word lack strength
There are many things I could say
Of my yearning, infatuation, lust
The passion and flame I have for you
But there are not words to convey
My emotion carries more resonance
Than any sentence may say

If you give an artist a pencil
She'll write you a million words
Telling you in deep clarity
What it means to her
How you look to her
And what you mean

If you give an artist a pencil
She'll cover pages and pages
With drawing of you
Sketches of beautiful things
That remind her of you
And what you mean

If you give an artist a pencil
She'll love you forever
And always will remember
Even if you think you weren't
How thoughtful you were
And what you mean

I wonder if you think about me
The way that I think about you
If you still have those horrible nights
I know that I sometimes do
If theres anyone to hold you tight
And make you feel better inside
Like I wish I could have done
If there's anyone in which you confide
I think that I've found someone
And wish that you have too
There's still times I wish that we
Could talk like we used to
About pain, acting, and agony
Deep into night, until dawn
Now I'm back to hiding it
Hoping one day it'll be gone
Still there is no profit
Now I lay here awake
Thinking about you and the sea
Hoping for both our sake
You aren't thinking about me

I let you in
You became a part of me
I let you see me bleed
Your hands held my heart
At first it was gentle and caressed
Now it's shattered in a broken mess
I gave you a chance
I trusted you unconditionally
You killed me with finality
All because I let you in

It stings and burns
Watching the ruby blood stream
Run down in twists and turns
You can't place what it means

Though you know its nothing good
Struggling to find a reason why
You know you should
Instead you just cry

Its not the first time nor the last
Remembering everything all together
Try and say it's all in the past
Hopefully you'll get better

What hope is left for you now
As you put the razor back on the shelf
And wonder just exactly how
You could keep doing this to yourself

Maybe in the end
All the blood I've shed
And tears I've bled
The words I've written
Will finally mean something