Here I lie-
  
        A corpse
        with a mouth full
         of jewels

I can say nothing
   about what is really
        important

Listen to the flies as
   they surround me,

They eat from my hand
   and are never
   poor or lonely for
      they dine on my
      secrets, and sing
      of my life

With sunshine
trapped forever
in my diamond
                 tooth, I will
                 tell you
                 how to
         never be poor
         or lonely

But I can say
nothing about
what is really
       important

Tarmac dreams of wheels
  
        spinning round a pine tree

Roadside buzzards pick the skin
      from the city and my eyes
                        
                       are burnt again

Every eagle has a hidden feather
                  and every fallacy a
                            hidden truth
                            
                           skin deep

and we beg the totem not
                           to show it

Flowers burst in the sun
exploding with dynamite
                               determination

They speak on swollen tongues

and my eyes are burnt again

My nightsong, what used to be your home
                                                       in my head

Is now filled with ghosts and webs
I sing to the midnight highway traffic
And the stars hang low to hear

If there is a constellation for me,
Come down now
              
                and share this cigarette

Come down and tell your story

I've paced these halls
Between worlds

I've spent my last dollar
On cab fare to see you
                   When the sun is rising
                   and no promises are made

                               So come now,
And tell me why i've felt so old
Since that equinox when I
Looked into my head and
                           Found the gods

When I ran to you racing the dawn
Only to find an empty apartment
And I tried to summon you from
                                         The ether,
but couldn't

So instead I wandered the town,
Bought cigarettes and flowers,
Finished that book I was reading,
And made a few phone calls

That's all I've been up to since then,
Doing the chores, passing the time
Telling everyone that you'll
                                      be back soon

But you still haven't come home,

And I've been waiting
                                          like a widow

i'll be there when paranoia eats you alive
you karma stricken beast

when loneliness is a plague
on human hearts
and frost tipped branches
come to claim you
and wrap you up
in their casket embrace

that's what you get
for living the low life
and caring for nothing
but yourself

no love
no pity
nobody

Oh, my heart
how did you find me in the dark?

Was it the stark white
shine of my bones
through my chest?

I wasn't really trying to do a
"Someone stole my heart" cliche-
                      It just fit in that way,

and I'm not sure if I'm saying
what I need to say or just
rhyming needless words and verbs
like needles swimming threadless
in something they never meant to sew

So, here we are.

I've done my best to stay hidden,

I've ridden inky tides
on moonless nights

Lost fights with myself
and won a few

And for a while I smiled
When I thought of me
and didn't think of you

And it was fine,
so fine

To live like someone
who hasn't had their head
cracked open by primordial
forces and the odds
of gods and goddesses

To be honest,
I never thought I'd promise this

But to you, my nameless, shapeless
faceless, fateless companion. . .

I'll walk with you forever,
even if we never get back home

and I won't accept a stand-in

Gray mountain concrete
       elephant underpass
groans on six foot wide
legs
      
       bones of steel
       re-bar bend and break

As it all begins to crumble
in the cold November sun

Leviathan highways
   strangle the hills
      with cold grip- They
            spill steel and smoke
       blood on the city streets

Delivering poison
     to your door

Robot brain control center
Oversees the operation
from tall towers
        geometric shapes
          
        Obelisks & Skyscrapers

Father Culture thinks with
                                   his ****

Begins foot tall grip-

mountain brain to it
       of and tall his shapes
crumble in poison operation
        from bend and strangle
mountain to bones

strangle and operation
                        from **** foot underpass groans

                         begins

They smoke wide legs city and tall the streets
Delivering the cold grip-
                                             and bend
                               crumble in of his tall bones
                               the foot with on blood

blood highways and
all of concrete smoke

They with on center
Oversees poison

O, Goddess

So intricate

This world I see

Sprang from your infinite giving

I am at home in you,

Everything I see.

Help me put the pieces back together.

She claims she's broken

choking on the last words she said to him


All her life is but a dream

and no one knows just what it means


To hold this broken beauty in your arms

if only for a moment


And in that instant,

all of these ancient feelings

come flooding back


All the hurt of past lives,

all of the attachment

and passion

of returning to love


All of the times

we decided it'd be best

to put our brains in the bottle

and contain our ways


The feeling stays awake

in the form of

diluted memory

and bruised skin


The feeling stays awake

like I do,

lonely as the night


The only living thing

born dead


And it feels just right


The feeling stays awake like I do,

all night,

thinking of you

and your poison stare


Let me swallow you

and burn my throat

on your existence


Let me close,

if only for a moment


Let me in,

I promise you'll enjoy it


Since all we want to do is forget,

And bite our skin

with frozen passion,

we'll give up


Surrender to the dirt brown

carpet on the floor

and lay there forever


Since all we want to do is forget,


"Only for a moment"

Is all we'll get

Took a short walk
       after nightfall
while the pavement was still
warm to the touch

The moon was calling my name
and so I walked until
I could see her face
             Radiant among
                          the stars

      She wore a dress the
color of muted sunshine
      in place of her usual
                              silver
and
       when
                  I
                     saw her there
                     smiling down
                     on             me
                     so  full  of the
                     joys            of
                     eternal youth
                     and   twilight
                             journeys,

      I sailed up to the stars
      and became  the  sun
      waiting ,   with     my
      eyes         on          her

The people below watch us
dance
and catch rides on shooting
        stars to be closer to our
              disco ball reception
              
              The stars in the night sky,
                                  our honeymoon

Fire

         has overtaken the town

and now
bangs on your door

         Demanding recognition

Come play us a tune
       as the world burns

Come play in the wicked
streets and sing with
                      the children

Who have
                  run away from
                       their homes

Who don't weep, for
when they left they
were either very angry
          
                   Or on fire

What good is a smile
      in these times?

Can it slow the flames
   that lick at your door?

Can it bring us rain
    to save our lives?

draw back the curtains
so the windows are certain
the sunlight spills across your face

and run to the river
where we used to live
and i will meet you in that place

and i'll never break your heart again

a full bodied springtime
the trees know my crime
and moonlight is on the air

their branches are burning
the footsteps are turning
a slow night to be fair

and i'll never break your heart again

i stayed up all night
i hoped that i might
prove myself to be true

but the lilacs have heard me
and the brick house assured me
that all they talk about is you

and i'll never break your heart again

Whispering moonlight
silence black night
A scream folded origami tight

So close
my moonlight
Repose
your dark fight

I'm cold
with feet still running

Soap my scratches
white flame my matches
my soul folded origami tight

so close my moonlight
repose your dark fight

I'm cold
with feet still running

so slow my branches
decay my dampness
blue skies they glow electric white

gypsy pack
of seagulls
   set up their
   winged city
   on the surface
   of the water

the lights of the city
are replaced
by two
   thousand

black holes
of birds eyes

and the snow feathers
of squawking multitudes

later- darkness falls
the gulls set
no fires

all that can be heard
on shore is the chatter
of birds
               talking
                in their sleep

We haven't come too far
from those drunken nights
on the floor, eating gummy bears
infused with *****

or from stickering everything in the kitchen
so we know what names to call the appliances

         Not too far
         from those times spent
         lounging around the bedroom

         a dozen of us, head to foot
         and everyone toeing
         the border between
         honesty and vulgarity

Some hung like a tapestry on the wall
and some sat watching ****
in the corner

while the rest passed a bottle around
and smoked with the window
constantly open

         We haven't come too far
         from the late night
         liquor runs

or from smuggling bottles
out under our shirts
after-hours

Or from smuggling flasks
in on free pool night
when we were too broke
for ***** or fun

We haven't come too far
from spilling drinks
by the jukebox

Or going out back for a smoke

      Not too far from
      cleaning up the house
      after a party

      and throwing another one
      to celebrate

Gratefully dead. . .

For the price of living

Far outweighs

The cost of death

Oh, to make something
out of nothing, with
my mind of aether
and my body of
           subtle confusions

If left in water
I would dissolve
Sugar cube sweet
into every waiting
           corner

A wet death until
my tomb evaporates
and leaves me crystallized
at the bottom of my porcelain
                    brain bowl
for some beast to come
and lick me up

   I will fuel his fate-
His bones and skin living
     the end product of
              my life

The end of precious little
      and your everyday
             sort of nothing

I sit in silence, trying to bring the
spirit down to meet me face to
face, so I can shake the hand that
made me

I sit and listen for the voice, but
my tarpaper heart keeps singing
in my ear about all the love its
found... it sticks to memories and
grows with every smile and
                                    gentle sigh

This heart of mine remembers
everything and reminds me of the
times when I was pure naked
awareness...
                        I try to get back there
but I am stuck remembering and
grasping at the past which I forget
is still here in front of me, the
newborn babe of the present
which everything has conspired
                                            toward

I sit in silence and remember what
it was like to bathe in the ocean of
souls... to see all of life in the water
of the clouds
                           before I had a body
          
                                            I was this

A river, uninterrupted and
                                           unending

I’ve roamed these halls
for a thousand years

       With only the company
of silence and shifting walls

My dreams and demons come
to life before me

And now I face their
unreality-
                
                  Is this
a prison or a purpose?

    I travel on in uncertainty
the cold stone floor lends no
warmth and I expect from
it no sympathy-
                  
                           My map is
meaningless, but I travel on

I’ve roamed these halls
a thousand years with only
the echoes of ghosts to keep
me company-
                    
                   I journey to and
from the heart- From black
to white, with
               the multitudinous
                grays in between

My map is meaningless
but I travel on

I step out into the night

To watch the train go by

. . . Boxcars out of the darkness

And then it's gone

I am a snake
    winding my way
     to my destination
     shedding skin
along the way

It keeps me sane...

I push my mind
    to different places
     at different times
    in accord with
a rhythm only i
can hear

If I stay in
  one place
too long
    
The
        karmic
wind
         comes
howling
               in
my
             ear

Saying,
             "Go. . . Go"

I sit

      in a dead garden



Withered gray stalks

      break under the weight

      of life and death



A corpse, technically more complete

as it has already arrived

      at its destination



Smoke rises

from this lifeless

      place, it suffers no

      illusion, it has seen life

     and now it sees beyond



Dead ants in a dead anthill

     used to be so active

              now they rest where

              they are, now they turn

                                to dust



The butterfly dies too

but who would really want

              to remain a caterpillar?

She had dead eyes



                   not inert



but     beyond     life



A hunger drove

her           stare



A    fire    burned

hotly underneath

She would do anything in her power

to    exert    her   will    over   death



                  She screamed

                               and wailed

                                      and moaned

                              as she danced



She stared through me

with those     black

                                 burning eyes



and smiled

                  when I put my hand

                       on her hip



She smiles as she burns this world away

Our love marks the beginning of the end

I held hands with Pandora

as I opened up the box



We destroyed everything we loved

but it could have been worse..

                   I could have died alone

"We'll die together" says Pandora



"Our fates have been intertwined" I tell my Kalika



She screams and stomps the floor in

                                        ecstatic dance



Our love marks the beginning of the end

We are the destroyers



We are what you fear



We come to give you hope

      and let you know

                  the end is near



The end of separation



The end of what you fear



We have come to show you love



We come because the end is near





                  

*Song of The Reaping:

"Me and my girl are gonna bring in the new age

Me and my girl are gonna break down the wall

Me and my girl are gonna dance through destruction

                                               and laugh as ashes fall"

You came and turned me
      on end
            
            emptying the cup
            of its contents

Let me weep my
      sunshine saltwater
      tears on your beach

Hold my glass heart
   in your hands and
     fill me with wine
       and honey

                 If only I could put
                     my lips to you

Ever drop of dew would be
                     a new soul

I would bathe in your
    river, the only place
    to wash
                   these ashes
    from my body and
                     face

And when I look through
                  to you is when
Eternity
    begins and ends

These banks are my friends
    but I just might jump in,
    let the tide take me out
    
And let your love draw
    the blood to my skin

You came and turned me
on end,
              my head under-
              water, I found
              myself holding
              
my       breath
              
     while   holding
              
           your     hand

These days the cold
doesn't seem so cold

I still feel it, but I 've learned
to enjoy the feeling
of cold air in my lungs,
punctuating the
drags on my cigarette

                    This time last year I
                    was trying to drink
                    myself to death

Now I drink to mock death, and I'm
                    sitting in the corner with a notebook
                    and a whiskey
                    listening to some country band play
                    songs from sixty years ago

While so many of my friends are quitting the drink-
I guess this business of dancing with death every night
isn't for everyone. . .

                                   But the morning keeps coming
                                   with bright lights to
                                   hurt our eyes and
                                   clear our mind

And we keep on with the same old dance
Round and round, you step left, I step right
and we joke about how nobody here
        really knows what they're doing

And we all just keep on dancing

The post-man walks dutifully
from door to door
knocking first at
the worn front doors
      white paint peeling

Since no one is home
[no one is ever home]
he drops a note through
the mail slot, handwritten
   in sloppy cursive, it reads

            "I know the message came
             late and you've flown away,
             but if ever you think to come
             back to your old life,
                                           think again"

He does this at each and every
door on this side of the block

and when he reaches the end
      he crosses the street and
                                       does it
                                           again

This is the future



We hold the world



       in our hands





The truth bites us



       in the third eye





And leaves



      a bittersweet taste



                in our mouth





There's no beauty



       When you're not around

I walked the path that wound
alongside the river

It was along this bend that settlers had their boats
dashed on the rocks by nature's unexpected fury

I wanted to see the river,
these rapids that turn the world,
this reminder of earth's power

So I stepped off the path
and headed down the bank
over rocks and bushes

And aside from the static white noise
of water, the first thing to greet me
at the edge was a cross

Two simple sticks, with a ribbon
draped over its outstretched arms

The unmistakable symbol of a life lived
and a life lost

The only thing between me and the rushing water
was this
               monument
                                     to
                                           mortality

For some reason
this terrified me more
than any man-made disaster can

This was nature,

Pure and indifferent

My mind wandered to the obvious void

This space that used to be occupied
by a living, breathing being

Someone with fears and joys of their own
Someone who had seen things and known people
Someone who had stood where I am standing right now

But who were you?

And who missed you?

What was your name?

What did you love?

Did you fall?
Or did you leap into the waiting arms of the river?

Were you afraid, as I am, standing here
just inches away from something that can't be controlled?

I have so many questions that will never be answered,
except by the deafening rush of water, and the

Cold spray of mist at my face

Toe to tip
This empty vessel
drip drip into the infinite

Blue sky day dream

Simple powers unslip
Dot eyes cross hearts
and hope to live

With the oh no
Magical wonder we grow

With a tip toe past the sphinx
he asked a riddle that none could adore
lost his nose and he hoped for more

Rip the great veil
Shimmering lights behind
No wonder we lose our minds
Caught in the act of a story unfolding

With the oh no
Magical wonder we grow

And have you found it?
The secret that hides in cedar
The ones you want to meet

Behind the great veil
Emotion wrapped up in time
No wonder we lose our minds

To the oh no
Magical wonder we grow

I keep my stones in my mouth
so I can shine when I spit em out
and give em out to the people
that make my dividends
feel equal

I only stutter when I speak
and these days
I've been speaking like a freak
who's seen things you won't believe
I need to get these dreams off my chest
and into the realm of thoughts redeemed

I sought your steam
rising steadily
and I know the waters clean
but I never thought this
cycle would be able to
show you what I mean

When I say

I've been down this road before baby
and theres nothing you could say to me
to make me change my mind
Either you're mine
or there's something else
you need to find

And I've climbed my mental mountains
and I've drained all of my lakes
Looking for you,
Queen among the fakes
I've laid down with the snakes
that say its not worth
the trouble it takes
To get to better seas

Still, I enjoy the journies
for the memories they make
and all the sins I commit
for heavens sake
seem to bring me here to you

It must have something to do with the stars
or the stones or the time spent alone

Telling myself, I know my soul is
in here somewhere

Somehow, I'll know it when I see it
and recognize myself in someone else

[You]

Myself in someone else

[You]

Myself in someone else

[You]

there are days
             that I fly out the
                             top of my head

and float above
                            the world
                            in the stillness
                            of space

-watching my body move,
                              and talk,
                              and feel

and all the little people
around are doing
much the same

and

they think
they
are
alone

Stone Arch Bridge

Dreams and sings

above the constantly

flowing water


Downstream

Always downstream

I walk slowly

and look at scars

from past lovers


"It was so good to be in love with you"

back when we knew who we were


Names come and go

but Love Lives Forever

Though we stand on the shoulders of giants

We still reach

For there is always new fruit
And never an end to this tree

This is why we love and fight
This is why we birth and ****

We will become the giants we will
Or die at their feet as feed

A drunk mind and a heavy heart combine here
sifting through visions of smiles and tears
unique to our years, we've been here all along

We've imagined a song unsung
we've exchanged these words unspoken
through the silent stares and precious glances

A flame dances through the night sky,
I take a drink and wonder why
it seems like nothing's changed*


[Sunday, March 21st]

Spring came and opened my eyes
to new streets on which the numbers
sang and everything made sense for once

I saw your face for what seemed like the first time

the books on my shelf had rhythm and rhyme,
I saw your face for the first time

I was born there in that bed, howling  with a desire to not exist,
I find it odd that it should come to this

Howling in the night, laughing, crying
Running through the early morning mist
With visions of a new day

This isn't the way I had it planned
My legs feel new on the ground I stand on
but this isn't the way I had it all figured out
in my head

It's been two years..
It's been an eternity..

Things made perfect sense once..
And then never again did I see such unity
in the passing of notes,
the passage of time,
and the love unseen by human eyes

I just want to see that perfection,
once more, before I leave this world

I want to see your face again,

I want to go back to that place where
everything made sense,

But you weren't there,
you were the many pages lining the walls
of my catacombs,

You were the twilight between the night and day,

You were the crumpled sheets I curled into,
crying, and wondering what I did wrong

You were the music that woke me up,
I opened my eyes for once,
and saw the spring time for what it was

All the work we had done in silent
through the winter nights
was for naught, she came
with gifts that can't be bought

I started smoking again that morning,
the first day of spring,

I decided that I should do what I want
with this new life of mine

I walked the city streets,
smiling, and waiting
for sundown to come

So I could see your face
for the first time

Milleniums shredded into moments

Decades wound down to a single second

and I've only just found my sound
and addressed it

Like it's the only thing that could save me
and the little things could put me in my grave
But my hands are nothing without the hope
and faith that somehow something good
is happening somewhere

Maybe it was a long time ago,
before the lizards crawled out
from their ocean soul

Maybe it was the first time our eyes met
and didn't leave their place in space
for hours, and we were transfixed in grace
and drunk
on the holy spirits
of whatever we could find
lying around

Back when I was happy enough to just sit
and hear the sound of your voice
and somehow it validated every choice
I've made and it honestly seemed
like things would never be the same

Remember...
                        A precious glance is never
                              left to chance
            
                         And a touch is never forgotten
                              by the mind of the skin
                                     or those within

And if dreams are just things that we
see when we shut our eyes,
then this must be a dream
cause it still shines when I'm blind

And when I can't see I can still
hear the sound of your voice

And when I can't hear I can still
see the noise

When I can't see I can still hear the sound...

Lets tear this house down
and build it up from the ground

while millions are without power on the east coast
and ocean waters rise high with the rage of nature,
nobody named Sandy bothers me here-
safe and serene in the Midwest, my home

no waters have risen to challenge me,
and no ghouls have come knocking
at my door, though it be Hallows Eve

no fairies have come to take me away
no children or beggars have showed up
to accept my offerings and
free a soul from purgatory

I have lit no fires,
I have butchered no cattle
And I certainly have not
tried to raise departed spirits

the only vestige of Samhain so far
is the thought, a simple remembrance
of the way things used to be
in the pagan myths
with their reverence for the dead

o, the dead have been here, yes
-imitations of them at least
littered on my TV screen
like bloodied tin cans in the street

this is how I revere the dead,
by watching remakes of old
slasher movies, directed by zombies

in them I find masks and screaming
-lots of blood and nonsense
and not one mention
of the way things used to be

The ship is sinking
but we still smile
at the sun
    
      We still laugh
even when the wind
   isn't at our backs

We know the storm
will rise bubbling
from the sea
(it will loathe
the day it meets me)

The ship is sinking
but we still smile
at the sun, knowing
that better days will come

We know someday
      the wind will fail,
    
        But we still
                            sail

gone through
                with dry fingers

the scent lingers
                        on my pillow
                 long after you've gone

I wish your
               pale winter skin
                                   would remain as indefinitely

now i wish
that my pillows
would stop
smelling like you

because you're not here
and you won't be
anytime soon

I may be timeless and without bound
but I am still bewildered in every body
I take on, and all I'm ever sure of
is what I am

A combination of every song I've sung
and every word I've read

I am everybody I've met

I am the one who believes in she
who shakes mountains

The one who makes us move
and dance on our fears

                               [She is the one who makes
                                 every step we take
                                 land on hallowed ground]

I try to remain in her grace
as long as I'm floating in space
and when I'm not there
                                           I am in the  nowhere
                                           of          my        mind
                                           imagining the future

and when I open my eyes
the present bursts through
to meet me

The Golden Lotus - Reflecting light
                                         from all hearts

I look inside and realize,
my body is hers

The one who
shelters us from the cold
and brings
thunder in the summer

She sets us free
and lights fires in the eyes
of those who see

and when she's gone,
she's the wind
rushing through
the city streets