I've grown accustomed to the feeling
of never being able to rest

I fall asleep, troubled
and wake too soon
to the dramas
of life and death

[I thought I transcended
this a long time ago]

but, surprise!
there is more to learn
more work to do

There is another corner to turn
that will give me better grip,
[i tell myself this and believe it]

all of this is for the best....
the way I get caught up
every time a star shines
brighter than my soul

I forget everything and
I am one in the light
and darkness
again

I am an innocent child
in the arms of the mother
once again

Hoping, Praying
that the goddess will
wake up
to a new world
and claim an equal throne
to stop the destruction and madness
of the martian mindset

This red stained rusted map
proves nothing

All the warrior needs
is love

And we will give it
selflessly

So that maybe, like them
we will stumble across
the reflection of ourselves,
as honest and true
as possible

And we will not censor
ourselves, through
brightest light
and darkest dark

We will not hide a single aspect
of ourselves

and I will gladly admit that half the time
I am a demon
Born of pride and power

And half the time
I try to find my wings
and live beyond the limits
of what I see in front
of me

I never believed my eyes
. . . not once

But I always believed
that
these chaos nights
of liquid despair
and makeshift relation
meant something more

I always held the belief that
I'd get where I was going
regardless of distraction

But now I'm not so sure

Because now I feel the pressure

of eternity in the checks and balances
of the dual toned grid
in which we all lie down
and sleep
in silent surrender

resigned to my fate-
I am the child
throwing his hands up
in the air

I am the moon
surrendering to the sun

Singing,
               "this little light of mine
                was never my own
                                  to shine"

It always belonged to the future

The dead souls

The great sages
and fountains of wisdom
that the world has yet to see

For she has yet to birth them

And she has yet to feel me. . .

The goddess of ideals and perfected imagination
who will wake up as I do

And look into my eyes

And realize

We've both been dreaming
for far too long

I step out into the night

To watch the train go by

. . . Boxcars out of the darkness

And then it's gone

Listen to the dogs bark
Watch the lights turn on and off
Feel the dead streets flourish slowly

[A drink and a smoke
And it all makes sense]

To let my enemies devour each other

Let them devour themselves

While I flourish

It might sound conceited
but there is nothing in this world
more powerful than
a person who is
above all
their own person

And *******
I've got enough Me
to go around

I try to **** my ego
but it comes back twice
as strong
and for twice as long

I try to remember
that I am nothing

and I know nothing

But it's hard to admit
your own weakness

When your heart
is on fire

Alternating baskets of good fruit and bad fruit
the seeds are what we're after
and all we ever wanted
was a tree

to come to time after time and
have to call our own
the fruit is sweet as wine
intoxicating as sweet time

taking us away to a different place
while the world moves past us
outside the window of the car

it never feels as fast as it is

we slow down to accomodate
the feelings we're feeling
the dreamings we're dreaming

and the road keeps insinuating itself
under our wheels

another day
another dollar

and we hope the destination is worth it

I'm just trying to find a ride to work
so I'll have something to do today
and something to drink in two weeks

I suppose that's the farthest I'll look ahead from now on

That and the party that I know will happen on
such and such a date

Two weeks spent waiting
and slaving
for a paycheck trophy
that opens up the doors
of the convenience store

And I'll move in among the crowd
Purchase an egg sandwich
and a pack of smokes
and go along with the eternal drama
for one more day

I'd love to be on the outskirts right now,
when I have to do the grunt work

I'd love to be on the edge of the galaxy
watching it all spin and spiral
from afar

Appreciating the grand scheme of things

[This is key to my existence]

and I can easily get caught up
in the stubborn sighs
and drunken claims

but at the end of the day
I sit, and I wait

for the master plan to reveal itself

for the chance to say hello
to the person I think I am

for the chance to fall in love
just one more time

for the ocean to swallow me up
and tell me it's okay
to feel the way I feel
and that everything I do
is for the best

and I'll be nurtured by waves so sincere

and I'll be sure of myself for one more day

and I won't **** up the master plan
with incoherent human ramblings
on destiny and the way things have gone
and will go in the future

Do me a favor dear,
don't listen to a single thing I say
because I don't know a thing
and I know it

Just rock me to sleep so gently. . .

So slow that neither of us notice
the motion of the earth
spinning through space

So slow

that everything stands still

and I can finally rest

These days the cold
doesn't seem so cold

I still feel it, but I 've learned
to enjoy the feeling
of cold air in my lungs,
punctuating the
drags on my cigarette

                    This time last year I
                    was trying to drink
                    myself to death

Now I drink to mock death, and I'm
                    sitting in the corner with a notebook
                    and a whiskey
                    listening to some country band play
                    songs from sixty years ago

While so many of my friends are quitting the drink-
I guess this business of dancing with death every night
isn't for everyone. . .

                                   But the morning keeps coming
                                   with bright lights to
                                   hurt our eyes and
                                   clear our mind

And we keep on with the same old dance
Round and round, you step left, I step right
and we joke about how nobody here
        really knows what they're doing

And we all just keep on dancing