No one knows what I’m thinking about when I think about Her.
And no one knows how close Her and I were.
We went together better than lemon and lime,
But now I have a major problem because I think about Her all the time.
I try and try but I can’t get Her off my mind.
If I try to talk about it, I already know what it is I’ll find.
I will be told I’m stalking,
When all I’m doing is talking.
How could I even think of hurting Her, the one I truly love?
It’s as impossible as God mercilessly killing a newborn dove!
All I really want to do is apologize,
Everyone else just wants to dramatize!
I know it seems like I’m overdoing it,
But if you understood even half of it, you would ease up quite a bit.
I know that me future behavior is judged by my past,
But everyone is jumping to conclusions way too fast!
I will say it again; NEVER again will I hurt Her!
If you were me you would understand; Oh, if only you were!
For if you were me, you would finally see,
The honesty that is inside of me.
Love for Her is number one on my list,
I would keep going, but I think you get the gist.

I pray that this isn’t good-bye forever,
If so, I want you to know that I truly cherished our time together.
I’m grateful for everything that me you taught,
And I’m glad that you and I never fought.
For you in life I pray the very best,
Because I loved you more than all the rest.
You accepted me more than any other,
Even more than my own mother.
Thank you so much for the time you gave me,
And I pray that someday again together we will be.
No matter what happens you will always be a part of my life,
And there isn’t anyone I’d prefer over you to be my wife.
I’ll remember you until the day I die,
And once in awhile, I’ll give in to my emotions and cry.
I want to be honest with you, to you I’ll do everything not to lie
I love you so much, it hurts unbearably to say good-bye.
I wish so much things could’ve turned out differently,
Because together you and I could still be.
The final thing I want to say,
Is that I’ll still think of you everyday.
No matter what happens, I will always love you,
My heart shall not sway, to you it will always be true.

It’s not right,
It’s not fair!
I want to be with her,
Why can’t life be just a little bit easier!?
Almost 18-years-old,
And still never been kissed!
I’m angry,
I’m sad,
I’m lonely,
I want,
I need,
But I cannot have.
I want to cry,
But the tears just won’t come!
I hate this,
I hate it!
Why can’t it be my turn,
To have something good happen in my life!?
Yeah, meeting her was the best thing,
That has and ever will happen to me,
The thing is,
I want to be able to,
Envelope her in my love,
And show her that,
I’ll give up everything,
I have for her.
Lord, help me!
My heart
Cries out for consolement!
I’m going mad,
I’m losing what little I had!
I want to hold her in my arms,
And give her my heart.
But she has someone,
And I cannot destroy that,
Because that might hurt her,
And doing so would be unforgivable.
I still can’t help how I feel,
And just
Seeing her,
Hearing her,
Knowing her,
Makes me happy.
I still need help,
‘Cuz I’m hurting,
And she’s
The Only
One that
I want
To help me.
Never before
Have I met someone
Who has the same
Effect
She has
On me.
I tremble
Every time she
Touches me.
My heart stutters,
Every time I
Hear her laugh.
I can’t breathe,
Whenever i
Hear her voice.
I can’t think straight,
Whenever she
Smiles at me.
My heart trys,
To jump,
Out of my chest,
Every time I
See her.
I’m sprung,
I’m stuck,
I’m lost,
I’m confused,
I’m changed,
‘Cuz of her.
I feel like
I’m finally alive
‘Cuz of her.
Lord, you know me
Too well.
You used my
One weakness
Against me,
Woke me up,
And showed me,
The pain,
Of the real world.
If it were
Anything else,
I would not be bothered,
But she
Already has
Someone else
So I cannot
Be with her.
Am I being foolish?
Am I not being human enough?
Should I just dive in,
And take her from him?
What a stupid
Question!
The only answer
Is absolutely not.
‘Cuz I would not want
The same done to
Me.
Almost 18 years
Of suffering until
I finally meet
Her and
I finally wake up
To the joy of
Loving someone unconditionally.
Then, all of the
Pain inside
Amplified by the
Fact that it
Cannot be.
The question now
Is:
Do I retreat
Back into my shell,
Or try to
Find another?
It must be
Back to
The shell
‘Cuz there
Isn’t even
The slightest
Chance to
Find someone
That I could ever
Love like I do
Her.
It ***** so
Much ‘cuz
I’ll never know
What could’ve been
Between us.
I hate it,
I hate it,
I HATE IT!
No matter
How much
I write,
The only thing that
Will change
Is the paper
I’m writing on.
She’ll move on
In her life,
I’ll move back
To where
I was so long ago:
Cutting, lying, stealing,
Cheating, hurting, manipulating,
Twisting, hating, no longer being,
The person I tried
So hard to become
To make my life better.
Five years of
Constant, hard work,
18 years of constant,
Unending pain,
All to teach
Me a lesson
That I was taught
By my mother
All those years ago:
I’m not worth it,
I never was.
I don’t matter,
I never did.
No one cares about me,
They never did.
No one can care about me,
They never could.
It’s not worth it,
It never was.
I’ll never make it,
I never had a chance.
I’m not helping,
I’m only making it worse.
I can’t succeed,
I can only fail.
No one could ever love me,
There isn’t anyone who can.
I could never love anyone,
No one would ever accept me.
My life isn’t going anywhere,
It never was.
I was an accident,
I was never meant to be.
In other words: give up…

Look, I understand that you don’t want to go out with me,
And that, with me, you just don’t want to be.
All I really wanted was to steal your heart away,
And know that it belonged to me day after day.
But that isn’t the case and I’m now expected to just be fine,
Even knowing that your heart will never be mine.
That’s not all, I’d also give you my heart,
And do everything I could to make sure that we were never torn apart.
Yeah, I know that I’m a little crazy,
But at least I’m not like your boyfriend who is just plain lazy,
And enjoys hitting and controlling you,
Not to mention you have some suspicions of whether or not to you he is true.
I swear on everything I love, you deserve so much more,
Because you’re such an incredible person, right down to your very core.
You deserve someone who will treat you right,
So that, in the dark world that you live in, you have that light.
I want you to be the be ‘cuz a girl like you is impossible to find,
Or so I believed until I met you and you changed my mind.

Why is it the more you need to succeed,
The more likely you are to fail?
It’s harder than trying to proceed,
Forward into the skull of a whale.
The more you fail, the more you want to quit,
Because you think it’s all a bunch of ****.
The more you want to win,
The more likely you are to break a shin.
I want to die
With a smile on my face
As I see my Lord and say, “Hi.”
And take in His amazing grace.
But it seems the more I wish,
The more I end up with an empty dish.

I walk around and see,
Things that I know should not be.
I just don’t see the point,
Of smoking a joint.
I’ve been told it eases the pain,
And helps users to gain,
A sense of peace
That no one would wish to release.
Because they go into their “zone”,
And no longer feel so alone.
But if they don’t die,
They just come back down from their high.
And everything is pretty much the same,
Because they tried to run from the pain.
I can’t say I know how they feel,
But I do want to help them heal.
I’ve been through some hard times,
And if someone decides to look and finds
The truth about me
Then they will see
Why it’s drugs I hate
And I can’t wait,
Until someone sees the light,
So then I maybe I might
Be able to
Understand why you do
Just what you do.

I don’t have the same dreams normal people do,
I’m not lying, either, what I’m about to say is true.
My dreams only feature one that I love and truly care about,
And that doesn’t mean we’re having ***, we’re just hanging out.
While those dreams are all happy and fun,
The nightmares I have are about losing that one.
My passion and best ability is my ability to love unconditionally,
Some people think that that is impossible, but they’re just silly.
If it’s impossible, then how can I do it?
Those people are just full of ****.
If they don’t like what I’m saying, they can just deal,
There’s no way in hell they can even imagine how I feel.
So that’s why I say love is my passion,
And I don’t care if people think it’s out of fashion.
Just because people think *** is the most important thing in the world,
And guys don’t think it’s important to be loyal to one girl,
Doesn’t mean that I have to think the same way,
Going along with the crowd is *******, that’s what I say.