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263 · Dec 2015
I Couldn't
I want to scream
But have no voice
Do you know what I mean
When I say I’ve no choice
Days like this
I’ve never missed
Where I contemplate
If I should tempt fate
Would I really feel distressed
If I got you undressed
I want to give in
And not think about sin
The thrill of being wrong
I know I shouldn’t long
Can I release this emotion
Without starting a commotion
Jesus, I know I shouldn’t
But You know I couldn’t
So now in my temptation
Please relieve my frustration
Even if it is the death of me
I would rather die suddenly
Than live a moment without You
250 · Nov 2015
Loving Lust
Her hands walk on my chest
She manipulates me the best
Her voice penetrates my mind
Her substance I cannot find
She kisses my skin
I want to give in
Her body wraps around mine
It feels like everything's fine
Her smell intoxicates me
Her gaze captivates me
I lay down next to her
She pleases me that's for sure
She touches me with a delicate finger
She makes temptation always linger
She knows what I want to hear
She is the reason that I fear
Her name is Lust
She thinks she's a must
However, she is not real
No matter what you may feel
She leaves scars and tears
She is the worst of my fears
She has broken many a home
And left many men all alone
She is fun at first
Yet an unquenchable thirst
I refuse to let her in
I will let Love win
244 · Dec 2015
Made New
Dear Lord
In Your Word
You showed me
How to be
Love to others
Sisters and brothers
Every father and mother
Yes to one another
Regardless of race
In every place
To reflect You
Is what I want to do
I am Yours
Open doors
Be my guide
I cannot hide
Your glorious light
By Your might
I am made new
Cause of You
237 · Dec 2015
Love Feeling Love
The still water of a lake
Reminds me of the beauty of your eyes
You took what I thought you couldn't take
And my heart was left in your wake
So now when I close my eyes
There is something that I realize

You have got me captivated
I feel like I'm obsessed
I wonder what has instigated
This thing that has my heart fascinated
But this feeling I've confessed
Always feels the best

I day dream long conversations
And walking by your side
My heart is prone to exaggerations
But I love these sensations
An admiration that I hide
A confession to which I'm tied

I love feeling love
But I am wanting more
God must send from above
A love that fits like a glove
She will be whom I love and adore
This is what my love is for
236 · Dec 2015
Dead Man (old poem I wrote)
Death and disease
Put me at ease
All your words
Echo in me
Fly like the birds
Above my misery
Something great they said to you
Now all this pain thanks to you
The silver blade
In my throat
Live in the shade
I sunk my boat
You try to comfort me
But inside you're laughing out
All these tears from insanity
I can feel your disappointment and doubt
You try so hard to concentrate
But I am the reason you suffocate
My blood is all that can heal me now
My soul, my reason disappeared somehow
Depression elevates inside my head
Dragging me until I'm dead
Family lost its place
When you walked away
Now you will taste disgrace
When you hear the demon say
He lost his mind
You won't find
A piece of him
Cause now the light is dim
Only God can save
So take the halo off
You're not brave
You're a show-off
An act in front of a crowd
His screams ever so loud
I am his demon
His heart is screaming
Just walk away
His pain must stay
You think you see his eyes
Welcome now a ****** surprise
All you see is the scars
His family left in him
Multiply all the stars
And you get the scars on him
He is past redemption
Forsake your conviction
To save his soul
You must sell your own
You can't fill this hole
All he is is rotten bone
Cry on him
And water his eyes
His lights are dim
He waits for sunrise
To see the world
The one that he will burn in
Try save the world
And you will join the fallen
I wrote this a long time ago. Thank God I have come from a dark place into light.
235 · Dec 2015
Why Love
Why do I want a partner?
Is it that I may be stronger?
So I don’t have to wait any longer?
Is the hole inside something larger?

I want someone to hold my hand
Someone my heart can understand
Pursuing a body is so bland
I am seeking something grand

Another being to be close to
To help you be a better you
When it doesn’t matter what we do
You look back and time just flew

I want that person to know
That I will help them grow
Through the rain and snow
Through the high and low

You see even if it is just me
I want conversations with tea
Conversations about more than we see
Conversations about being all you can be

Yea, I might be a little obsessed
And this I have confessed
But this is how I want to be blessed
But Lord, in Your grace I rest

If this is not from You
Remove this heart within me
If this is from You
Help me wait patiently
196 · Nov 2015
Break Me
Lord, I am so sorry that I fall
There are no words of consolation
Lord, I want to give you total control
But my mind is the picture of desolation
The worst part is no one knows the flaws
Everyone sees the smile and the front
No one sees me staring at doors
Wondering if I am just a runt
I know the foundation of my faith
But I see no growth inside of me
I see no use of this mighty faith
I see no signs of the smallest victory
Must I go on in my depression?
Must I fight this battle until the day I die?
I desperately need regeneration
I am the bones laying down so dry
Lord, I ask you for a change in my heart
Because this sin continues daily
So Lord, break me and please start
To help me follow You mainly
Then the other things will be in place
Only then will I be made like You
Only then will I see Your face
But this is something I cannot do
So Lord, Have me
Lord, break me

— The End —