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fuzzed out thoughts
where the meaning
is still there
embedded
just to
hurt
i'm proud of my scars
wait, listen to me      
i'm not proud of          
the fact that i have them
i'm proud                    
of the        
fact that
they used to be cuts
and are now          
scars
because they've                      
healed
you remind me that
some     animals
are    exited
to wake
up
 Sep 2013 dulcetheart
emmaline
We say things like "farewell" and "goodbye" but a lot of times we don't actually fare well and the bye isn't good.
This bye isn't good and I'm not faring well.
I've said goodbye so many times now I don't know what goodbye means anymore but I think it means that this is the end and I won't see you again.
I don't really want this to be the end because it feels like there's a fire in my eyes causing them to melt and there's a fire in my heart causing my chest to burn and it's moving down to my stomach like a *** that's starting to boil and I can't hold anything down.
I'm rarely ever at a loss for words and when I think of you the only thing I can muster up to say is I love you and I know this bye isn't very good but I'll say goodbye if that's what I'm supposed to do. They said I could visit but your face isn't quite the same when it's a picture on a grave.

Fare well.
I love you.
don't fall in love,
because you'll be the one that falls harder,
deeper,
faster,
and they'll leave and you'll just have those feelings,
and the constant reminder of them in everything you do.
maybe if
i don't sleep
for long enough
I'll       sleep
forever
soon
vitamin after vitamin
envisioning happiness
laced in each one            
maybe it will
"help"
or maybe            
its all in your head
and you're endeavoring
to place it in mine        
with a glass of water
and slight smile
 Sep 2013 dulcetheart
unadored
age ten i was lost in a story
letting words dance over my tongue  
and fill the space between my sheets  
with roaring emotion.

age thirteen i was lost in my thoughts
letting the blades dance over my skin
and fill every inch of my wrist
with hot scratches.

age sixteen i was lost inside myself
letting the pills dance inside my stomach
and fill my blood with toxins
that would end my wasted existence.
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