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 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
the kid
My voice is there I just forgot how to use it
all I had to do to escape
to express is utilize paper and pen
I get my point across better this way
Paranoid minds never find peace
A thousand battles I have fought
With nobody here beside me
Anxiety builds swiftly
The pounding in my chest
Every mistake I've ever made
Makes me wish for death

The future looks bleak
Taking a pill every day
Chemically imbalanced brains cause suffering
Praying for something to take me away
Hit the bottle hard, looking for an escape
Anything to outlive this madness
That plagues my every day
You're the sweetest person I’ve ever met and I’ve only known you for a short while.
Nothing like a carefree person (which you are) to make me blow away.
I admire you...only a child who’s smarter than he looks
My undeniable love for you can’t ever be enough
When were hand in hand I smile and so do you
I cant find a bigger, stronger word to say how much I love you
And though  your small now, you’ll get bigger soon
My darling child, just want you to know my undeniable love
Is how much I care for you.

Your brown skin is way to soft
And I’m sure those girls will target you
When you smile, the worlds happy
And when you frown it makes me wanna cry
I still haven’t found the right words...not yet
Still haven’t found the right feeling...not yet
Still haven’t found the right hugs to give you...not just yet
But I know I've found the love for you when I held you in my arms
I was scared because you were fragile
Because you were small
Because you were precious...more precious than the stars
And since your growing now I just want you to know
I love you .


Dedicated to: Jacob
everyday my eyes go fluttering,
here and there, everywhere,
every hour seems like a year,
waiting for a person in despair,
not a person I would love,
but someone I long to see,
every minute of the day,
I may sound confusing,
but pay attention,
'cause I do.
Attentively watch, await,long,
for that one envelope,

inside which would be a page,
a white but unblank paper,
with words and exclaimations
About your explainations,
and your whereabout,
as I wait for that person
To bring me a letter from my beloved,
my dear love, my craving,
* my sole purpose of living,
I convince myself by saying,
the post man must be lost!
or perhaps just lazy and late,
for he never comes,
and makes me wait in vain,
Sometimes I loose hope,
the only thing I've got,
but recall your face,
and remake my mind,
saying, maybe times are rough,
reason why you can't write to me,
these days,
perhaps just the work
that keeps you busy all day,
but yes I do wish you could just take time out,
to write three words on a card,
i love you.
send it to me,end my vacant wait..

It's been five years now,
you never wrote or even called,
ah! yes I received a telegram today,
Right now I opened it,
and as I opened it,

tears kissed my cheeks,
of happines that you did care!
but soon my tears of joy
turned into blood sobs,
when I read in the letter that you were gone,
passed away five years ago,
while saving someone at war,
sorrow could not leave my side
knowing it was all I had,
and my heart wept,
my eyes went numb,
at the letters on that little note,
but at the end were the three words
I had longed to hear,rather see,
"he loved you."
Was all I could bear to see,
my brain stopped working,
my limbs went void,
now, I still don't know why,
I wait for you..
I'm old now you know?
I wish you could see me,
wrinkled and stupid,
for I still wait for that day,
when I would get to see you at last,
with a letter saying those three little words,
"come with me"
tonight and forever,
we would make up for lost time,
and spend once more our lives,
but for now my longing is still not over,
for I still wait for the postman,
behind my window,

and I need no doors or even locks,
*as my gaze still remains fixed on my post box..
I know I've use the word 'wait' a lot of times..but I just can't help it!!:p
©NivedaAmber
Check me out:p- http://hellopoetry.com/-niveda-amber/
I tend to be very hard
on myself
when it comes to
making mistakes
and picking out
flaws
and old scars
because it’s easier
to self-inflict pain
so it doesn’t hurt
as much
when people
that matter
do it, too.
 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
Lizzy
I love you
I know I do
But I can't feel it
The numbness has reached my heart
No matter how hard I try
No feelings break free
They're lost somewhere
In the darkness

I don't know how else to put it
I don't have words to explain
It's just these chemical imbalances
I hope you'll understand
I love you
I really do
I just can't always find it
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