You think because I'm quiet,
that I am hateful too.

and you think,
that because I am quiet,
I am clever.

Quiet means so many
different things to different people,
innocent,
bored,
unhappy,
angry,
resentful,
narcissistic,­
dreamy,
mysterious,
quaint,
selfish,
shy,
rude,
ignorant,
misant­hropic,

But did you ever think,
that maybe my silence
is the loudest
of all cries for help?

Did you ever think,
that maybe I am silent,
because I am afraid?

I'm lighting up a cigarette inhaling the suicidal taste of nicotine;
It helps me calm my mind while damaging me from within.
Thinking what to write today while keeping myself sane;
It's hard to escape madness knowing it is driving me insane.

So I took this pen inked with eternal damnation;
Which words to suffice the needs for desolation.
My thoughts run wild just by thinking of her;
It triggers something that makes my words clever.

And so from tragedy I'm writing about love and unity;
Blessed by the heavens and strengthen by the holy trinity.
That someday every one will realize that no darkness remains free;
For there is a moment that in the shadow comes a light that shines brightly.

thunder*
I always thought we'd be together
You and I, we said forever..
In the rain I am standing
Why am I here?
This is bad planning
I see light flicker through a crack in the curtains
The curtains I bought for you when you first moved into to your place
I practiced every word I’m going to say to you
I’ve covered every trace
I'm at your door step
Too afraid to knock
My hearts sinks like a stone in my stomach
Feels like I swallowed a rock
I blink rain and tears from my eyes
I’m happy the storms raging so it muffled my delicate cries
I walked all the way here
Yeah, I still go on walks
My hair is soaked, cooling my fresh and steaming thoughts
Everything is pounding, I’m hoping this ends like a book
Cold and shaking
How dramatic do I look?
The thought of this makes me laugh
Someone walks by the door
I think you heard me
I want to run and hide, I don’t have confidence anymore
But this is my chance, it will all be okay
The front door opens and I have nothing to say

It's your three year old daughter
I hear a woman say *Lilah, close the door honey.
Oh, no.
She's beautiful
She has your eyes
Your lips
Your hair
Your giggle..
But not all of her is just like you
She has hints of her mother in her too
Her mother..
The luckiest woman alive.
Help
I'm frozen
Run, ******* it, run!
But I cant
I hear her high heels coming toward the door
Lilah, who are you looking at?
There's no one there
Her mother cant see me
There's no more rain
It's a hot summer night
But my clothes are still dripping
There's blood on my shirt around where the branch impaled me
Glass is embedded into my hands
Lilah is still looking up at me, smiling
She's beautiful
You join your wife at the door
Your eyes full of happiness
Your lips would no longer shape to mine
Your hair is short and you've been weathered by time
I always loved your beard
You grab your daughter's hand and pull her inside
I on my knees crying now, because she should have been mine
You should be mine
**** being mortal and **** time
The day I died was the day you proposed
You got on one knee, the ring tied to a thorn'd rose
Thorn'd roses are my favorite
They show how something so delicate will go to great lengths to protect itself
Just like my heart..
It was a rainy day
The roads were slick
You leaned over and kissed me while you were driving
We hydroplaned
I didn't put on my seat-belt
Too busy looking at my gorgeous ring from my gorgeous man
We hit a tree
I was launched through the windshield
The branch went straight through me
I didn't feel any pain
The last words I spoke were your name
I loved you.
Oh, God how loved you
I still love you, even in death
I'm at your door step
But you cant see me..

I met a boy long ago, God did I love that boy. I loved him more then myself. I loved him more then the stars love the night cause thats there only time to shine. I only shined when I was with him. The light in my eyes finally had a home. His hands were like mountains I could touch forever and not know when to stop cause they made me feel amazing. He had Eyes like the ocean blue as they come. Smile like a Sunday morning in the middle of July. Voice oh god his voice captured me and took me to a place I never been. Let him take whatever he wanted with that voice of his. But to bad that all ended that cold day in august. The 11th to be more exact. Something warm left me. Something left my body and I think, I think it was my heart. I think when he drove away that morning my heart knew he was never coming back. My heart knew that he's cold mind and disgusting soul got what he wanted for the last time and knew he was gone forever. So my heart followed him home. Now my body is just a empty piece of memories and dark thoughts of him. Can you give me my heart back baby? Why must you touch me so softly but leave me with the most hurtful pain I have every felt? Why did that night feel so perfect and your smile seem so real but ended in lies and you disappearing into her arms? did you not know that I would of moved mountains for you? I would of killed just to touch your beautiful mind and soul one more time? Do you not know that you are in every single thought of my mind and my body and my skin can't keep hurrying and Cutting itself because your not here and it doesn't know what to do? Your not perfect but you were perfect for me. You are the most tasteful thing my month has ever tasted. You made me go insane with the thought of your body. Your lips. Your eyes. Your eyes make me melt just thinking about them. Darling I would of dies for you? I would of killed myself if that is what you wanted. Maybe if I **** myself I can be with you forever. Watch your every move, your every thought. Darling dose that scare you? That scares me cause I would want to touch you and I know I can't. I know I can never touch you again. But darling it's okay. Cause I have him now. He makes me happy and that is what I need, Darling. Maybe the painful memories of your love and touch will go away. I need your baby blue eyes to leave my mind. I need to not lay in bed and feel your hands on me anymore. Your gone and baby I think I think I'll be okay. I think the stars aren't scared to shine on there own without needing the moon anymore. I think they are perfectly fine to be themselves and sore across the sky at 11 am. I think I will be alright without you. I mean I haven't locked myself in the bathroom cutting my already tore body anymore so that's a start huh baby? don't be sad if you come looking for me and I'm already happy with one of the  million stars in the sky. I think I found a star that is just like me. And darling, I'm pretty happy with that. Me and my star can learn how to shine together again. I'm gonna learn how to shine again Darling.

There she was, with her jeans on
And a fishing rod in her hand
Underground, where the earth decides
What the brain is for, I know

And even in my mind’s eye
It’s taking so long to decide
And even at the back of the line
I make the run in record time

Thunderstorms were her theme song
And she’d never let me forget
Back in town, where the shallow grave
Isn’t shallow anymore

And even in in the moonlight
It isn’t worth it to deny
And even though her tone was unkind
I walk around the caution signs

Only you can make suffering sound like a good thing
How can you make the will of a man sound like nothing

Show me how in a vacuum you still hold the best hand
Tell me now is it time to prepare for your last stand

Open up at the end of the world you forgive me
Shut me down with apocalyptic apathy

There she was, in my bedroom
With a silver wig on her head
On the ground, where we fall asleep
On the maple floor, alone

And even in the sunlight
It’s taken so long to go blind
And even at the end of time
I gallop through the finish line

My ego’s about to come crumbling down
She’s rocking a 7magnitude underground
She doesn’t tell me what is wrong
She gonna make me guess
She wants to watch me rot
Until there’s nothing left