I saw you today
The back of you
Standing straight talking to a girl who was not me
I didn't wait for you to turn around
Only kept walking out of pure reluctance
I wanted you to see me
Notice my heart on my sleeve
See the hurricane in me
I didn't want you to see me
Notice the heart on my sleeve
I didn’t want you to see how this hurricane in me
Has gotten so bad
It is getting so hard for me to play along
The white flag in my hands is itching to be held higher
I am resisting out of pure reluctance
I want to give you up
But I just can't

I will still write poems about you
Even if I do not speak to you out of fear I will love you again
Even if I look away when I see you out of the corner of my eye
Looking in my direction with the hope I will turn to you
I won't
Even if the rate of my heart outruns my mind and I want to call you
I won't do that either
Because I am coming to realize that waiting on someone to love me
Is like having a noose around my neck and a stool beneath me
But I am choosing to life my feet from it, hanging myself
Putting myself through torture with hopes you will lower the rope
But you never will
So I am standing up, I am saving myself from falling into you
I will not wait around for someone who is waiting for someone else
I will not be the second choice
Even if you never come back to me
I will still write poems about you

When you realize that the person you love
Loves someone else
It will hit you like a plane crashing into a building
You will be unsure if you should jump
Or stay inside, holding on to something that will keep you sane
Have to decide if it is worth the torment
Her name will be in every headline: car crash, robbery, news paper
You will avoid going out so you can pretend she isn't real
Her name is a new born that the family passes around
You will discover that she loves everything that you love
That everyone loves her
It will not be easy, anything having to do with love never is
Love is a word that gets stuck in my throat
You are not sure how to let go
He is the only one who forces your colors to the edges of you
He is what it feels like to fall and land on something soft
My love for him pools like gasoline in the back of my throat, all it takes is a match and I'm set to flames again
When you realize the person you love
Loves someone else
Do not panic
Act as if it is only a change of season
Leaves that were once vibrant in color will turn brown eventually
Act as if it you saw it coming
Act as if you were used to not being loved in return

I cannot hear someone talk about love without thinking of a plane crash
The sudden moments of ecstasy and then the drawn out turbulence
In trying to decide which loved one is the one worth calling
Which memory will lace itself through your mind like a drug
Love does not care about your disposition, it does not care about the timing
Love comes when love feels it should, even when it is wrong
I have noticed that I love far too fast
Stare the beast in the face and
I break like a fever, like a bad habit, like a windshield
Under the sound of his roar
He does not care how loud I scream, it only screams back louder
Love does not care about my disinclined heart beat that races too fast for too many people
So when your friend introduces you to a boy, resist making a memory of his cologne
You do not need another memento of a love that may never be
Do not fool yourself into thinking that this is okay
You are not supposed to be at war
So why do you insist on putting yourself on the front line?

I think maybe I can give myself time
Teach myself to love you and only you
Learn the ways of isolation, confine myself to you
Maybe one day I will be able to do it without trying first
I often confuse love with loneliness
Give myself away just because I am tired of holding myself up
If only I could dig myself out of holes as easily as I dig myself into them
Digging my own grave just because it is something to do
I am trying to love you but love takes a little more work than I'd planned
I am not sure if time will be enough
Because time can't save anybody, it only adds wrinkles to your face and fatigues your body, you are only getting older
Maybe the hands on the clock are better off broken
Because imagination suddenly becomes matter and I am here standing in front of you trying to love you, and I do, so much, but not quite enough as I need to
And for that I am sorry

You do not tell someone that you love them
when you are not sure if you do
You do not tell someone that you love them when it is dark outside and all you really want is affection to share in
You do not tell someone you love them just because you know that it's what they want to hear
You do not tell someone you love them when you love someone else too

Anyone who has ever been in love has gotten a taste of what it feels like to be completely mad
The things you will do, how far you will travel has no limits
Love does not care about your boundaries
It will push them until you begin to doubt why they were ever there in the first place
The hurricane that they put in you will get so bad
Blowing away any inch of sanity you once thought you had
Love never played a fair game
Cupid does not feel bad for the unrequited lovers
He is the menace that puts them there
Loving you is like breathing with broken ribs and punctured lungs but enduring because it is the only way you will make it out alive
I know that this will eventually **** me
But I wouldn't mind dying with your hands around my neck
Because at least I will leave the world looking at the one I love
Even if they do not love me