Something has been going wrong with me for a long time now
My life used to be overflowing with potential
Nothing could stop the greatness I was heading towards
But something did
I wasn’t always a hollow thing
I was once overflowing, abundant in joy and hope in all things
Life was sweet and I couldn’t get enough
But now everything has changed
People talk to me like I am dead and I have to remind myself that ia m not, that I am still alive
Life crippled into unfinished meals on the table
Languages dried up
Seeing old friends that only loved who you used to be
I am an empty vessel that no one wants to touch
But I have reached a unmarked line
Crying out, begging me to try again
Revive my old self that was stolen by intoxication of the wrong things
Light the candle and watch it burn
Inhale the scent of lemon cherry blossom
And begin to hope, begin to make myself believe
That second chances are real
And that maybe this is mine

Once
I met a boy with soft grey eyes
that matched the color of his sweatshirt
His smile was tentative but it made him mildly more attractive
He didn't say much but he listened intently
And I wondered what he was thinking
But he gave nothing away
Once
I talked to a boy with soft grey eyes
that peered into mine
and blond hair
that he kept pushing off of his forehead
In closer proximity with him I realize
He's a very striking young man
Once
I had dinner with a boy with soft grey eyes
that paired well with the purple shirt he was wearing
Everything he said captivated me
He talked steadily but quietly
He was charming and funny
and I have never been so hypnotized
Once
I fell in love with a boy with soft grey eyes
and a heart bigger than his head
He brushed kisses over my forehead like the words he spoke
Gentle and sweet but strong
so that I knew he loved me too
Once
I fought with a boy with soft grey eyes
that projected his silent anger
when he had no more to say
It was my fault and I pushed him too far
until his face turned dark
and he let his hair fall onto his face
because he was too enraged to push it away
But he never rose his voice
he never yelled
he always kept the love in his voice
But once
I lost a boy with soft grey eyes
Because the soft grey turned dark
until the love seemed to slip away
It was still there, I knew, but it was harder to see
And I still thought about the boy I met that day
Quiet and reserved
hardly saying two words but he slowly stole my heart
but taking it all away until I wished I had met him
Only once

We arrive at a beautiful bridge,
lit with candles and dressed in flower pedals
It doesn’t look like a very far walk and I wouldn’t mind if it was
Every second with him is one I cherish
I turn to him as he puts the truck in park and unbuckles
He's smiling out of control, I wish I knew what he was thinking
He wipes his hands on his pants and steps out
"Looks like we've finally made it you grump," he says to be playfully and still smiling
"Well it's about time," I say as I unbuckle and reach for the door handle without thinking
He looks at me with a stern look and says, "What are you doing? In all the years we've been together have you ever opened your own door?" God, has he always been this fascinating
I feel like I'm walking through my life with this immaculate creature
I mean how could he even still want me after 4 years?
He shuts his door and I can see him smiling as he walks around the front and to my door, swift movements as he runs his fingers through his hair, I swear I could watch him walk in circles around this old truck
He reaches for the door handle and holds out his hand to help me out
This is basically a routine thing that we've done since the beginning but every time is just as sweet as the first
He reaches in the back and grabs something
"Look away!" He demands, so I do
He has a picnic basket and has tucked something into his pocket
I think nothing of it and we head towards the night
The moon illuminating the walk way and the autumn leaves crackling beneath our feet as time begins to slow

We finally arrive, thank God the candles haven't gone out yet
This **** bridge was so risky but it's where we met
She probably doesn’t remember, but I do
It's not a very far walk to the end, though I wish it was
Walking with her is like walking with all the light in the world
I cherish every second, she makes me feel like life is worth living
I see her turn to me and I'm so nervous but somehow manage,
"Looks like we've finally made it you grump"
I can't stop smiling, but neither can she
That's a good sign right?
"Well it's about time," she says as she reaches for the door handle
"What are you doing? In all the years that we've been together have you ever opened your own door?"
God, I don’t think she's every looked so beautiful
She looks down, giggling as she places her hands in her lap
There's something about the way she laughs, it's so playful and light, it's like a song that gets stuck in my head
I don’t know how she still wants me
I swear walking around the front of this truck is the longest walk ever
I run my fingers through my hair just to tease her
I open the door and reach for her hand, I hope she doesn’t feel the sweat layering them, I don't think I can bear to tell her why
I reach into the back of the truck and shout
"Look away!" and thank God she actually does
I shove the box into my pocket and grip the picnic basket
I hope she doesn’t have any ideas, not yet at least
We head towards the night
The stars in the sky lit the way, they looked almost like a map
The leaves crackling beneath us sound like fireworks
The ones she's always loved
We continue walking and I can almost feel time begin to slow

It's been two hours and we are still driving
The radio has repeated the same songs over and over
My seatbelt has grown too tight around my right collar bone
And my mind has fallen into my lap due to my eyes focusing too ******* the scratches in the window rather than what is behind them
I turn to you and ask,
"Are we almost there? I know I've asked you a billion times but I'm so hungry and my foot's asleep."
You look like an angel, draped in a white t-shirt, almost glowing
I cannot get enough of your aura and scent of burnt pine cones
You turn to me and lick you lips
"We're almost there, just be patient."
Your mouth forms a slight smile as you turn your head
And here I am melting in the passenger seat
I have never been so captivated by someone
I could watch him drive for hours and never get sick of it
As I'm looking out the window I see him smile out the corner of my eye as he glances at me
Oh there has never been a sweeter feeling
I can feel my body loosen and I feel as if I could slip right out of this seatbelt
I don’t think he knows what he does to me


It's been two ours and we are still driving
The radio has the repeated the same songs over and over
My seatbelt is cutting into my neck
And my hands are getting tired of holding this steering wheel
I feel as if they are numb and my left foot has drifted asleep
I see her turn to me and ask,
"Are we almost there? I know I've asked you a bullion times but I'm so hungry and my foots asleep."
God, she looks like an angel, her golden brown hair spilled down beside her face, framing it perfectly
She smells of vanilla and spearmint gum, I can't get enough of her
I turn to her and lick my lips
"We're almost there just be patient."
I smile because I just can't help it
The way she makes me feel is like nothing I've ever felt
Her whole being entices me
I could look at her for hours and still find new details that I love
I glace at her and smile, God, she's so beautiful
Oh there has never been a sweeter feeling
I can see her body relaxing as she lays her head back on the seat
I don’t think she knows what she does to me

There is a boy
He has velvet lips sweeter than honey
Enticing green eyes, shining like the full moon at the nights peak
His hair, dark and lustrous, has a sheen like fine hardwood
Like a waterfall of autumn leaves
His smile ignites a fire in my stomach, burning, growing
His aura is captivating, I could talk to him for hours
Everything about him grips my attention and I do not know how to get away and I am afraid to relive an unrequited love story
There is a boy
I barely know him at all
But the little things have always been the biggest
And maybe something so alluring,
Something that can mesmerize me this much
Well, perhaps maybe it was meant to

I can only imagine what it is like to love you
To watch you walk down the hallway to my kitchen
The soft thuds of you shoes and the wood floor
Sounding almost friendly as if it the reverberation is shaking hands with the walls
To see your hands slip into your pockets as you look down and smile at your feet
You slip one hand out of your pocket and it climbs the air to your hat as the other hand runs its fingers through each brown strand and gently places the hat back on your head
Only swift movement and light breathing
To see you driving down the highways of the city
One hand on the steering wheel, while the other fools with the radio, endeavoring to find a perfect song and stay on the road at the same time
Then I can almost see myself reach out and grab your hand when you've slipped up on a song that I liked
And you would look at me and smile
Eyes tightened and lips forming half of a crescent moon
As the timidity in your mind turns your head back to the road
A red light comes up
We both have never been more happy to come upon a stop
You turn and look at me, lean in, lips locking
Hands condensing into each other
This kiss sets my skin on fire and fills me with the life I'd never known I was missing
Suddenly a car horn interrupts us as laughter fills the air
Oh how incredibly lovely it is to be diverted by strangers
When we were once strangers ourselves
And today we may be strangers
The ones who are sitting at red lights behind people in love
Laying on our horns with somewhere to be
Today, that may be us
But before long, that could be you and me
Who are being interrupted
At a red light