I have learned about the world
And it's history, know where the landmarks are and the 7 wonders
I know that it holds beautiful, walking legends
People who want to change the way the system works
I think about their hands
Hands learn more than minds do
Hands learn how to hold other hands,
How to grip pencils, how to mold poetry
Hands are the maps and compasses on which we navigate our way through life, they are the guide, they are the ones who endure the working
Each callused palm, each cracked knuckle
Hold a story, one you may not think about as often as I do
Hands twitch and tremble
Hands pick you up
Hands praise
Hands catch you on your way down to fall
Hands clench in fists, hands open wide
Hands are learning more each day about their limits
Do no underestimate the power of a persons hands
Hands touch, hands break things, hands also glue them back together
I have learned about the world and it's history
And look forward to reading the hands of people who live in it
For that is the greatest learning experience of all

I often find myself wondering
If you have forgotten about me yet
If I am a closed history textbook after the year has ended
If I am the chapter in the book you skip over now because you know only useless information is provided
I wonder if you look at your watch and think back on the times we used to share
Wonder if you recall the late night phone calls
Wonder if you remember the sound of me weeping
I wonder if you ever think about how my lips would have tasted if only you'd ever gotten a sample of them
I wonder if the girl after me could satisfy you in a way you knew I never would
Your secrets are not sitting in the corner, they are in the light, I know how it feels to want to be filled up when you are so empty, I wonder if she did that for you
I wonder if you're happy that I am gone
I wonder if you wonder about me
About my happiness
I often find myself wondering the most however,
What you will do next
With someone else

I crave intimacy
Delicate touches that reach into me like pressing down on an old mattress, feel my skin cave in, hear it creak and cry out
Make this sound into a melody
One that I will sing to myself on nights that you are not here
I crave intimacy
Drawn out conversations about the future and the past, avoiding mistaken mishaps and leaning over boundary lines
Racing towards insanity, or racing away from it
Whichever you would prefer
I crave intimacy
Dancing in the dim light coming from the television screen in the living room, neither of us are very good at it so the laughter is much more consistent than the skill of our movement
I crave intimacy
Kisses on my neck that send lightning bolts down my spine, there is something about lips touching the bases of what holds your head up, it makes you want to fall into them
Kisses on my neck from your lips would make me never want to stand again, I can only imagine the paralysis
I crave intimacy
Simple sometimes, simple as going out to lunch and splitting the ticket, or sweet glances in the car, or showing you my favorite songs, or even soft skims of the back of our hands as we walk side by side, a marvel that neither of us were expecting
I crave intimacy
With someone who does not push me past my limits, someone who respects my hazardous past, someone who does not question my ability to walk, even when I know that I can't
Someone who believes in me
Someone a lot like you

Unzip yourself, step out of your façade of a body
Wipe off your coats of paint
I want to see every part off you that you hide from other people
Let me read your rough drafts and kiss your faults
Let your pride fall on the floor
Do no reach to pick it up instead reach out to me
I am holding out both my arms as far as they extend
And I hope that my arms do not detach from my shoulders
From the pressure my body is exerting to touch you
Do not shelter yourself from me, I am begging
I know that we are not ideal or perfect
But some of the best stories come from the worst nights
So let's write poetry together
With the way our bodies loop together like cursive letters
Copy and paste your old drunken stories onto the pillow case
Let me trace love letters on the back of your neck
Give you sweet bruises, and then paint over them so no one will see
I know, I know that we are not ideal or perfect
But do not leave tonight without us uncovering the reason why
we can't be

And as of now I have finally realized
I was drunk off of only you
And you were only drunk

There is something peaceful about being alone
I have learned that I don’t need anyone to complete me
I have learned that some puzzles can still be just as beautiful with a few missing pieces
And maybe one day I will find them
But for today, I am by myself
And I am okay with it as ever

Lately I have found myself pulling out arrows and throwing them back at cupid because although you are not supposed to pull the weapon out of the wound, I refuse to remain in this
I would rather bleed to death than drown in love