I have forgotten all of the arms I have lain in
I do not fully remember the tastes of lips
Or the temperature of warmth some have offered me
I do not fully remember where the lines traced on my skin are
Or where they lead to
They are a road not traveled by many
I have forgotten the small love affairs between the coffee shop worker and the glimpse of a boy I once loved in my dream
I am forgetful of many past lovers
But never forgetful of you
I have memorized the geography you sketched on my back
I have been searching for your degree of heat, though I have not found one that can compare
Your taste lived faintly in my mouth
Digging under my tongue
I am not in love with you, only the way you can hold me up when I am broken into pieces that do not fit together
I have forgotten multitudes
But I regrettably cannot seem to erase you
From my mind

When life throws you in the water
Do not be frightened by the storm
Remember you know how to swim
Remember that getting the wind
Knocked out of you
Is sometimes the only way for your lungs to realize
That they like the taste of air

The monsters in my head are scared of love
They tremble at the thought of arrows
They are fearful of any romance
Though they are strong and frightening to many
They cannot bear the thought of something else entering my mind that does not cause their kind of pain
You see, love is gentle with the way it hurts you
It is like unraveling rope
You do realize that you are going to fall until the thickness of this cable is only a thread
The demons in my head simple rip the floor from underneath me
They do not slowly pull or pull me in and them push me off
And I do not know which I fear more
Someone who abruptly drowns me
Or someone who pretends they are teaching me how to swim

My skin trust his fingers
Like the spider trusting the shoe
While it is on its way down to crush it
I know you are no good for me
But it is so comforting to know
That someone wants me
Even if it is only for tonight
While you are intoxicated
And you do not know what you are doing
Because, though, it sounds troubling
There is hope that you will remember it tomorrow
And maybe not regret it

I too often find myself being sad
Feeling the weight of it sit on my shoulders
As the ground begs me to succumb to it
We are always allowed to joke about being lonely
But never taking a step further into it
Because no one wants to hear about your pain
There is no real interest in other people's desolation
Consigned to oblivion, treacherous waters
So tempting to go for a swim
Dancing in the rain until the flood waters drag me away
I have never felt such force pushed against me
Until I experienced you walking away from me
There is nothing more heart-wrenching
Than losing a love that never existed to them in the first place

There are advantages
To isolation of romance
And anything regarding emotion
But at the end of the day
Despite the thought of freedom
And repetitive reflections of past discomfort
It is challenging to lay alone
Slowly becoming accustomed to a bed to yourself
Realizing the new space and profound independence
But I will always miss the warmth of a body
There is something captivating about flesh on flesh
Body on body, enveloping each other in balmy breaths
Tangling legs like tired shoe laces
Wrapping tightly, pushing away the thought of anything else
There is something peaceful about that
Though cold sheets are refreshing
Warm bodies are reassuring
There is something about the way it feels
The way their chest rises when they breathe
Not even realizing how you have memorized how it elevates
There is nothing more tranquil
I know that living it up and being free is wonderful
Never taking the risk of heartbreak is solacing
Doing what you please, when you please is disentangling
Absence of amour is sometimes divine
But every craves affection intermittently
Even if they do not admit to it

I often wonder
That when you are drunk
Do you crave someone
Or do you crave anyone