Lost in my mind, I am swarmed by my thoughts like an angry mob of bees who's hive has just been knocked down
Bumping me left and right, up and down
I dream of a mind as peaceful as a meadow,
As clear as a river,
As calm as a lake
A mind where my thoughts flow easily
Although instead I am in the middle of the traffic of my mind
Thoughts like cars rushing by or completely stopped
Laying on their horns drowning out any sanity I had left
These thoughts fight against me and I wonder who could possibly win in a battle against myself
I dream of a mind where my thoughts are wiping away worries and gently push me into cloud 9
I wake from this imaginary inspiration and only feel the sting of the bees piercing my skull and keeping me from ever settling this war with my own head
There is no way to escape from yourself
That is one thing I have learned
And the hardest of all

I want to be a poem
Drawn out using long words and comas
Penciled before penned in case you write me wrong
Find a spark in me and write about it
Write down all the words and phrases that come to your mind when I cross it
Think about what you want to achieve
Will I be one for the books or just another in your leather notebook filled with other girls names
Let the creativity flow like a river after it has been drowned in the rain, pushing the excess water it can no longer hold
Use concrete imagery and vivid descriptions
Paint all of the abstract concepts like you are painting your favorite piece of artwork in black and white
Use poetic devises to enhance the beauty in meaning
Add a sharp turn at the end
Leave the reader hanging
Read over me, memorize every punctuation
Bring me to life and read me out loud
Bring rhythm to my every syllable and make me a song
Edit my body if it does not suit you
Make any changes that you see fit
If I do not rhyme, do not fret
Even blank verse poetry can be beautiful
I believe all poetry is a work of art
I want you to see me in a frame
Why else did you think I asked you to write me down?

Let's get drunk together
So I can kiss you
And blame it on the alcohol

Sleepless nights fill with incompetent infatuation
and drunken bewilderment
igniting white sticks of numbness
to grip all of our pain in one palm
and take it away
in a quick instance
Hoping that maybe tomorrow you will
feel a little less pain
But when you wake up
in a painful daze
with smudged make-up on a white pillow
and cold coffee
Confused as to why
It Still Hurts So **** Much

There is something about unrequited love
A current in you will endlessly twirl
A wind will sweep you up
And at the brink of sensation
You will be shoved under the rug
You will feel disarmed and vulnerable
You will feel shrunken beneath their beauty
They will tease you and keep you hanging
The edge that you are leaning off of is slowly beginning to fall apart and you hear the audible sound of it breaking but you will risk your plummet just to be closer to them
Your heart will thump in your just like the banging on a gong and you will feel it reverberate throughout your body
But the rate of your heart beat does not change reality
They do not love you
The one thing about unrequited love is it risks it all
You could end up shattered like a glass vase
Crushed like dry autumn leaves beneath their feet as they walk toward someone else who is not you
You will feel every crack as it hits you
And they will only hear a soft, distant mumble
as you cry out beneath them
Do not turn and run
Because they might love you one day
That is by far the worst thing about unrequited love
The unknown

I'm a fool for falling for this
I'm a fool for thinking something so simple
Something so lazy and undeliberate
Could actually mean something
It was just a drunk kiss
Nothing special, nothing close to the proximity of feeling
A numbing passion, dull and mute
Forgetting it all because what's there to remember?
Nothing but misinterpreted shots and beers
Failing to recognize all of the flashing signs
I knew better but I couldn’t help myself
I've learned that life will toss you around
And then laugh when your hair gets messed up
Nobody cares for honesty after they show you what you want, nothing matters when looking at a perfect frame
Then you end up slipping in the exact moment you stop paying attention to the direction you're heading
After this there is nothing much you can do but crave the freedom you once tasted
Now, you cannot even begin to remember the sweetness
Only the bitter taste of you still in my mouth
And no matter the amount of alcohol I swallow
The burn of your tongue lingers eternally

There is something about being numb that is addicting
It is, sometimes, the only real way to not feel the pain
There is numbing medicine that we have all heard of
Anaesthesia, which means 'loss of sensation'
It is used to induce sleep, which prevents pain and discomfort
We have no problem with people using this to numb
Alcohol is my anaesthesia
It numbs my body, it numbs my mind
It pulls me into another time zone where the hands on the clock move faster
But everything else around you moves slower
All you can do is focus on the next drink coming
Rather than the pain being inflicted on you that made you go out in the first place
We all are addicted to numbing
Some sleep, some get drunk, some get high,
We all cannot deny the sweet flavor of feeling nothing
The needle piercing your skin but only feeling the cold, not the sting
The liquor scratching itself down your throat but loving the burn
Igniting a wild fire in your mouth, going down a ***** rubbed with gasoline
Numbness is an obsession
There's something so beautiful in the art of forgetting things
Even if it only be for a few hours
Alcohol dehydrates you, leaving you dizzy with a mind like a static TV
I would rather feel empty from alcohol
Than empty in the bed that we used to sleep in together
I would rather be numb in a bed next to a boy that I do not know
Rather than feeling all the glass I've stepped on walking away from you pressing into my skin while lying in bed alone