I stand up strong, look in the mirror
Say grandma will be wrong soon,

Drive and work, keep a smile
try to not be the reason a frown ensues,

Supplicate to myself,
wonder and dream about what can be,

Call to not get an answer,
but she will is what I hope,

Tell my mother what's wrong and hopefully right
ask she will see decades more of nights,

Sit down and write, because it feels right
feel cold but indifferent of what's left,

Dreary thinking of the prospect that nothing changes
even with my best,

See my father hasn't opened years of messages,
I lament

Be strong because that's all that's left,
Smile because people deserve the best,

All for you, and them, dancing in my chest.

This woman wanted my babies,
and she would have made them beautiful,
Her forms and shapes I'd never seen,
and I'd kiss and trace her without cease,
She loved me, but I knew it wouldn't be,
now I'm alone and wondering.

Her eyes, her mouth, her skin, her insides,
a perfect heart, a fiery mind,
But I did not want to keep,
she was fine just falling asleep,
But I did not want to keep.

Jane, you were honest, and our love is slain,
I sang songs you wanted to keep playing,
eyes and breath were enough,
but I wanted to keep playing.

I've thrown you away, and you reciprocated,
but what could we have created,
If i held my words for breath abated,

My star, my singer, my sweetest touch,
I am sorry.

The guns are exploding,
Roses are growing,
Cars being towed,
Faces being turned,
Spirits being burned,
Roots and vines,
Fragile beings,
being born without thorns.

Scowls brewing,
Gist being missed,
Mother's hoping,
Father's coping,
Fists about to swing,
Hearts about to take,
For a final break.

Tires screeching,
Children beseeching,
Minors going through majors,
Fellows becoming a danger,
Almanacs gaining maniacs.

Calls being dropped,
Stars being ridden,
Families becoming bedridden,
Cars ready not to start,
A wildfire about to miss her mark.

Skies glowing,
Skies gleaming dull,
Stomachs full and null,
Eyes glowing for the first time,
Past them who will never know one.

Gardens, homes
Graves, alone
Tell them.

The sunrise is bright tomorrow,
Grass greener than ever,
That something happens I would have loved forever.

A call comes and it lasts even while you make dinner,
A kitten finds a home to make a winner,
A letter crosses oceans and skies for just your smile.

Her eyes reflect the moonlight and a kiss follows behind,
The songs turn into numbers and into hours you couldn't find,
Your voice comes back and the sun is warm and fine.

Our cars don't whine,
Hours with friends from old times,
Discovering new wine with someone on a new line.

The peace comes quickly,
Forgiveness is forgotten and moved on from,
Everyone is happy.

The dish served cold, but with what pretense?

I am in the dark and cold, I've left the desire to be bold,
I am and will lie in wait here, even until I am old --- to see you.

Your back, my malicious place, my new home,
I wish I didn't need this blade, so my wrists could undo your form
beginning at the ribcage. How I wish to dispel this rage.

The structure guarding me from doom, holding my visage
in oblivion's place. This friend gives me the ultimate weapon,
and the greatest devastation you will not face.

Your armour, reflecting moonlight, my hunger has become thirst.
That shield, for what purpose gave it you the sky, such deception,
I understand from this place.

The steed, galloping, taking, puncturing fate for your impending, never-ending doom...my guardian of certainty, my knowing beast under mine enemy's line.

I raised you, but to die. Oh, inkling, minuscule minor thought, developing into this moment so grand.

Brace, you cannot...I will bless thee with the duty but to rot. Your future days are of paradise, and I witness from this kingdom until you come.

The story is nameless, faceless, and veinless,
who says hello when everyone is dead.

How empty are the walls when no one showed up, again,
are these halls too commonplace to conjure or figure about.

Why does one say about the other what presence eliminates,
hello, goodbye, I love you, your matter is mine.

Take the skies, give them names,
clouds are meant to die, to dye,
universes with romance,
nothings with  everything.

I culminate into a never-ending sunrise,
I desecrate as desperate, father said.

I go, before the eyes, like I was never there
I terminate to speculate, dreaming.

You shouldn't be here.
You should've kept,
You wouldn't've.
We, aren't.

Okay, let me begin for the sake of clouding the din, with smoke of my own demise, dispersing into a thick black night, sounds funny huh, chasing the thrill in the little moments, I suppose anything to avoid the torments...sounds cheap huh, well packaged and attached, haha, it keeps going for the sake of flowing...next thing you know it's not so funny, and the ground is where you're hiding, your best kept secrets, like the sounds of trees that fall all alone, not wondering or caring if anybody heard them...screaming for an audience unknown...because of nothing, not because you lied or they lied, not because the truth ever existed, not because you looked like the truth, not because their leaving means anything. The growth is real for them.

Telling spells, to what? the night?? Okay, tell me then, let's make some use of these stars...let's have them be birds, flowers of the sky, starlings making songs in lieu of the basic chirp...go ahead, let's make beauty of the humble ugly...go ahead, let's keep spilling until the ground stops bugging. Until we can look at it, until it's just as unmoving as we, were ever gonna be.

I suppose I've been a ghost all along, you've done nothing wrong,
best to know that I was unstable from the start, I was just trying to be steady, I was just trying to actually be trying. So i say what I say so you can protect the future, of some other pair of lonely eyes, of other actually honest minds.

Fast, and deep,

Feeling like I should sleep,

Grow with the trees,

Make a lesson of mellow to the clouds,

Signed to the sky, my latest letters,

How does one become a million

How does truth ever sound in the beginning

How do lies ever become lies when they're perfect.

I'm asleep baby, you sung me there again.

Written to the wind, the lakes, the beautiful scene
that takes so little to love...I'm ready to go...
become a part of the flow, let it be a final kiss to the world.

cuz it sang songs it didn't know nothing about,
carrying false wisdom it isn't unsure about,

Take it allllll away, let me be like the wind and the lakes,
let them find a beautiful scene and say i just stopped to sing.

I'm ready, but are you... you're too ready, and deadening the world
with unperceived dreading...filling cups full of emptiness that would be better off being liquor...how much do you actually care.

For the sake of my own being,
you tell me there's no point in it all.

Without a word.

Let it be then, let me sing into a hopeless day and night.

How much, how often,
shall your shapes and persons consume me.

With but a single touch.

Let it be ethereal, wordly, or but a sweet kiss to me.

To them take everything, steal nothing,
give them every single thing, let them smile.

At the hands of their dreams.

Let, the letting be of stars and bountiful admixes.

I am afraid, but don't let them be.
Give them everything my heart does seek.
I am Fear, don't let them have to be.

What is it, who calls it...by what force is it established.

The calls, the missing, the longing?

Shall I, take my eyes to different sights,
Chase the crowded frantic lights?

Who says, who answers, what's behind it.

Tell me the hours, show me your powers,
Take your hands and give me the flowers.

Destitute like a *******, winning from the sake of losing?

Woman, father? What's behind!?

Painted, but left nothing to listen.

Go ahead, Go, run, again, like you always did.

I hope you are there, and you answer...
because what we've had isn't something that always happens...
truthfully, it is rare.

This amount of comfort and ease, the feeling we've both had inside ourselves --- so quickly. Baby! It is beyond rare!

Perhaps my kisses weren't up to par, maybe in my voice the tone of these texts wasn't there...but I take time, please, take time...because this is rare.

Doubting myself is my specialty, but I mean it, you can make me change the world, and I promise that about every little thing that is you, I will care. Please, believe me --- understand --- we are rare.

You seem to have thrown everything away, and something I know or cannot seem is enough to not even try...I suppose you esteem me no longer...and perhaps it's more ugly than beautiful a thing that makes me rare.

I'll wait, though I'll pretend not to.

I swear.

Sage to ward away the bad spirits...
I am confident, I am sure...
please don't make me doubt,
please don't let me leave without.

But who am I begging, what nature or stone,
what call am I making, here, alone...

You see me, and the kiss is deep,
I am in bliss, but my thoughts keep
arising before I fall them, and tell myself to focus on the dream.

We're inside now, I am,
kissing you deeply, and you're crying out...

But I am deeper in my mind, asking myself what I'm worried about.

The conversation is too short, I can tell, you can tell.

You say it's time to go, and now my writing is my crying out.

I've encountered lands barren, with nothing, only nothing, you.
I check inside the broken houses, wreathed in rose petals, lying to the passersby: nothing but nothing, any will find. Counting time keeps ticking and ashen hands sifting, hours go in twelves, but our emptiness we cannot undo. Are we the heartless or was your fire long past due. I stare at the sky and wonder, how many seek to carry you; and the limitless times they are engulfed to nothing, by the nothing that is you. Emptiness is painless, depending on its place, it can consume us, and set about flames, reaching at nothing, setting all they touch to look too. Holocaust becomes, all whom wish to find a you.

The same miseries I sing, Have you ever come around?
Do you paint me found in that easel were the lost abound?

If I sing into that sunken town,
its dirt roads and wastelands of old clothes,
Will I but call the animals of the fall,
will the angel's toes enter the mad ball,
The stagnant paroxysm stuck in a still frenzy

will the wolves in howl drown my call
make my dream a figment doubly null
If I sit like a shadow, can they suffer a reflective maw
glisten again, like children with sunlit pearls

The intoxicating rave is over
She's no petals to throw you
sickened and befallen with you
she's fancied a plague of you
I am at every end

Run till you comprehend
your feet are dry as I've wept instead
Red footprints are letters in my head
I'll follow you to the place we met

I'll decide to sit,
everytime
I'll fall for the smile
I'll stare in the awkward way
you'll put me in the end

forever and once again

my dear... walk by once again.

Hey, it hurt today...
it wasn't like then,
when you smiled after saying Saray,

You left me lit
and your smile had not gone away,
God, send her my way
I did pray

You sat where i started,
and i feel thats where my heart is,
In class, with the timid boy,
too scared to look behind

She crept in day...
i always feared beginnings,
in some odd way
I knew not how to love in day.

I fell droll
As a bed whom no one lays
neath the steam of sun rays,
I grew cold
not knowing the game to play

Stayed.
for a second
loved for two
lied for many
Confused the truth,
i was your mirror,
I hated me
i mistreated me
i felt the opposite for me,
who believed in me
Was we

Was she?
Was it a figment thing
have i dreamt whilst i sing,
i am mad in reverie

Sorry, girl from the other day,
if i didnt make you stay,
i hope its not be cause i chose to say,
i love you,
and that you really didnt feel the same way

----if your face wasnt lying on that day.
i apologize, to throw what you saved,
when you walked, like an angel on its way.

Saray... the writer loved you more than his day, but had never loved in your way, but wrote to float butterflies away, and now
he totes another burden on to lay

It hurts, and you are not from that day,
But i swore id care till you hated me away,
i stand in a field of beauty
and choose a girl to see...
yeah, thats what Saray is to me.