almost is a sad word
you almost changed the game
you almost changed the world
you almost had true fame

self-medication was all you knew
and you knew that your time was soon
it broke through as your passion grew
cracks in your voice, singing out of tune

a star shopping hellboy, praying to the sky
you were slowly breaking, not even knowing why
popping pills kept you numb
but you never let it make you dumb

lil peep, you were misunderstood
you helped as many as you could
you never in your life glorified drugs
the media portrayed you as a ****

you were caring, you were smart
a tattooed face means nothing
what matters is the heart
and you were always loving

you knew you should’ve reached out
you knew you had friends all around
they loved you for more than just clout
but they can’t help you six feet underground

you are not a lesson to be taught
you are not another druggie
you were a soul that was distraught
not a horror story for junkies

it doesn’t feel like you’re gone yet
it hasn’t settled in
but taking xans was like russian roulette
it was bound to happen

peep, we hope you’re somewhere better
we hope you’re free of pain
you always were so clever
it’s sad you lost the game

slowly killing ourselves is a rite of passage into society, i suppose.
in starving ourselves and slicing open our bodies, we find repose.
the stitches can't hide your shattered heart, darling.
when did brokenness become charming?
i feel myself fading into this house of ghosts.
but when i go,
just know,
i loved you the most.

will you think of me ten years from now, when you’re looking down at city lights, with a pretty girl by your side?

will you think of me twenty years from now, when your youth is fading, and the suburbs never felt so constricting?

will you think of me fifty years from now, when your kids have kids, and you feel life slipping away?

will you think of me one hundred years from now, when all we are is bones and dust, with no regrets other than each other?

it coats your tongue, makes you plead
begging for something,
you don't truly need
it sets you on fire
love's desire-
but is want
really love?
i'm comparing crows
to doves

tears threaten me,
hold me against my will.
guilt takes my innocence
and leaves my heart completely still.
i've been broken, i've been abused, i've been neglected.
i've been a breaker, i've been an abuser, i neglected you.
with every empty promise i made,
i really thought i'd keep them.
turns out, plans seem to change,
and history has a tendency to repeat itself.
am i right, athena child?
i don't know what i have for you,
but i never had hate for you,
and i never will.
i have no right to come back,
so i'll just
stay
right
here.
and hope, that one day,
things will change.
i miss my best friend.
but he'll never miss me.

i've snapped completely this time, i'm sure of it
is this an overreaction?
or is there truth to the terrible things i've done?
i played cards with your heart,
dealt a few lies
then left
when i say sorry this time,
i mean it.
but please don't forgive me.

It was a beautiful pain
when you came crashing through.
Eyes like December clouds
met eyes of Autumn hue.
You told me I was your second choice,
and I let myself be used.
Now I'm kept awake by the noise
that I refused to lose.
You kept me captive
with your whiskey eyes.
How am I supposed to live
when you carried me to my demise?
You were my everything,
but I was just your "special case".
Now I can't do anything
but see your eyes in his face.