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you know that feeling where you don't want to get out of bed
you don't want to open up your blinds and see the world pour in through the sun's rays
because you know deep down it wouldn't make you happy anyway
you have nothing to look forward to
nothing to smile for

that is how i feel every day these days
and i wonder when it will go away

everywhere i turn
i am disgusted
my life seems to but nothing more than
a collection of disappointment and lies
soon enough it will drive me
off the edge
and i know i will go crazy
there-is-no-turning-back crazy
just like esther in the bell jar
that's what i think
that's why i sympathize and empathize with her
she is just like me
a person muffled and choked
by customs and expectations
It is in those broken moments we find ourselves,

Torn to pieces, with no explanation –

A dark crevasse molded to fit our shape,

Holding our deepest thoughts, encasing our forgotten spirit,

We tend to allow ourselves to be encompassed by this abyss –

Explaining to ourselves the need to dwell on the darkened past,

Swallowed by its projection of memories,

Sprayed upon the walls of our mind like murals –

An endless catacomb of images, seemingly permanent in their manifestation…



It is in those broken moments, that we find ourselves.

Seemingly unbearable days, leading to sleepless nights,

Dreading the thoughts that creep their way to our dreams –

Resting in an endless adaptation of our subconscious,

Playing out their roles, as if upon a Shakespearian stage…

Each thought, acting its part with tragic precision,

Layer upon layer, scene upon scene…

Reaching back to grasp our inception of reality –

Griping its contents, and strangling the ideas to exhaustion; gasping…



It was in those broken moments, that we found ourselves,

With a weighted world pressed firmly upon our chest,

The ebbing soil began to crumble –

Giving light to the somber path traversed…

Filling the now hollow crevasse with purpose and meaning,

Each memory defined by the silver lining expressed in love –

The fleeting darkness, swallowed by the over-whelming feeling of home…

Finding it in the simplicity of a kiss, and the certainty of an embrace,

It is here that we find ourselves,

In the intricate details and delicate idiosyncrasies –
A poem written from experience - from the darkened hole to the anticipation of a kiss. I hope that if you have found yourself immersed in the darkness, you find light. Dedicated to the beautiful woman, Jing.

http://peterandtink.wordpress.com/2013/08/13/broken-moments/
At any moment I can pretend it’s all okay,
And that’s just what I’ll do to get through my day

I’ll sit and I’ll smile, I’ll chat and I’ll wave.
No one sees through the way I behave.

When my feelings creep up on me once again,
I’ll push them away till they creep back in,
And I’ll cry, way past ten

When it comes time again to go through my day
I numb myself, and the pain goes away

The best part is, you don’t even see
you would never imagine all that’s happening to me
I hide behind my own brick wall,
Build to hide from myself, the thoughts, the words, and everything else
Sadness captures every thought,
My capacity to love is becoming wrought
I can’t tell you what’s happening, deep inside, but I can tell you to please, be very kind
Because you’ll never know when there’s a kid just like me
Crying themselves to sleep without a reason to be seen
They can’t ask for help because nobody believes
Just exactly what is happening to me

And nobody, ever sees
It’s part of the trick, the curse, the scene
Tragic as it may be, it’s happening, everywhere you look
Everywhere you can’t see

Blinded by the simple thought that a smile means you’re happy,
And a frown that you’re not
I can’t believe how little you see,
Shocking, slightly, it kind of is
But then I’ll think I don’t want you to know,
And as another tear drops I’ll curl into a ball
No, no, this isn’t happening
But oh it is, darling sweetie
Voices, inside your head, fight with one another, oh, who will win?
Twisted, insane and sick thoughts
Creep through your head
And you can’t tell a single soul,
Oh, you hide it so well

No one will ever know
Yeah, so giddy I'll confess...
Light-years past crazy baby.
Constellations of bruises,
a silver sort of stench of starburst blood drops,
sickening rainbow... purple, green, yellow... of healing.
Anyone else would be too.
But its a gift really.
What hasn't killed me's
made me stronger, right?
Strong and brave enough
to grasp the icy tail of a
rushing shooting star
and hold on, sharp and cold and clean,
ever tighter while mountains and oceans fade.
The lunatic soul locked inside the body
constricts with each breath and beat.
Until it surrenders with unbearable brightness.
Supernova in a straitjacket.
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