-

i wake you up in the middle of the night

to express my love for you

stroke your skin and feel you

naked, i can feel all of you

at the same moment

-

i wake you up in the night

feeling this is our last time together

therefore sensing all the moments

we've been together

being here at the same time

-

every single touch we ever touch each other

every single **** we had together

is in a wondrous time lapse

with us here here at this moment

the history of touches

every single archive

compressed into a second

all with us here as I wake you up

i've left the memories of our youth behind

i dont know what she hopes to find

in the shadows, she waits for me

for a dream that cannot be

i relish these quiet nights

where i stay up till' 5am

singing songs on repeat

doing what i want

with no one to interrupt me


although we've only talked a little,

shes sleeping and i cant wake her up

the joy of a possible future is still fresh

within my gut


tomorrow she'll message me

and i'll do the same things i usually do

my body memory will kick in

and we'll do this dance once again

but with another person

i'll still love it

as i did every time before

-

maybe one day i'll show her the things i write

but maybe this time, i'll try keeping everything to myself

the world seems to work better this way

my descent is the story of every man

i am hatred, darkness, and despair

my descent is the story of every man

i am hatred, darkness, and despair

who are you

and whats your name

it feels like i met you before

in crowded living rooms

and broken down basements

feels like you're with everyone, and no one at all.



my only meaningful relationship is hundreds of miles away

and its so very distant that it matters less and less every day

but i can't move on


pick up my coat

i know what i did wrong

go home

maybe i can give it another try

recently i received a guitar

loaned to my sister from my uncle

and now given to me

it has seen no use for a few years

the strings are too tight

the neck is breaking from the base

-

ive looked at the guitar for awhile now

and i feel the same way

being pulled so hard in one direction

keeps my body taut

and able to do the work i need to do

to move past girl #3, #4, and now #5

but ive held my back straight for so long

that at some point i feel like my neck will pull away from my base

and my head will seperate from my heart

and neither will know what to do