For so long
I thought you were my everything
I thought we belonged to each other.

For so long
I kept hoping you might change
Believing you’d try to be better for me
But you never did.
You never would.

I’ll never forget
How your arms opened wide
Promising love, safety, and comfort
How you brought happiness
Hating to see me sad.
And I’ll also never forget
How you hurt me
Tears streaming endlessly
Leaving me wondering why
I was never enough for you.

And now
The feeling has come
I don't want you anymore.

I didn't stop loving you
But I started to loving myself more
I finally see how much I deserved
To be happy
To be truly loved
To be chosen without hesitation
By someone
Who would never dream of bringing me pain.

I did something foolish tonight
Opened the archives of a love long gone
Just to make sure the pain had faded
Piece by piece
But it turns out
My body burns
A wildfire of memory and regret
It wasn’t his promises
His sweetness
Or his love that broke me
But myself
For every word I wrote there

How many times did I tell him
I hated the pain he left in me?
How many times did I convince myself
And try to convince him
That this time would be different?
That I could be enough
To anchor his wandering heart?

I fought so hard
To know what he wanted from me,
To stop him from breaking both of us,
To be the best girl he’d ever known.
So he’d never seek the 20%
I didn’t have
Because I gave him 100%.

But everything I’ve done feels useless
All of that effort
Paid with pain
And I destroyed myself.

You can take photos of people
Things
Moments

I wish you could capture feelings too
So I can look at my smiling self
And remember that I I've done it before
So I can do it again
In moments like these
Where I feel that this terrible feeling
Will never end